$1.35

On Saturday, we slept in. Actually, I woke up quite a few times. A part of it was subconscious stress about school (or is it conscious since I’m acknowledging that it’s due to school?). The other part was just b/c I never sleep through the night without waking up at least twice. We had a delicious breakfast at home.

Soon after, we got ready to head back out to the Strip. This night, BF’s parents bought us good tickets to watch Cirque du Soleil’s Ka at MGM Grand. While BF's Mom was picking up tickets, I resumed my question for the perfect post card at the gift shop near the hotel concierge. Again, really ugly post cards (or post cards of MGM Grand).

We wandered around for a little bit until the doors opened up and we could be seated. The show was pretty spectacular. I was extremely impressed with the music and the acoustics of the theatre. The show itself was a little short (1.5 hours with no intermission) and the story-line was a little shaky, but the performance was marvelous. It's difficult to describe the amazing performances we saw. One part reminded me of a human "Plinko" game (like Plinko from "Price is Right"). My favorite parts included the beach scene (there was a "crab" which consisted of 2 people flipping around...and there was a "sea turtle"!!). Another scene that left me awestruck was when the girl gracefully twirled batons. (It also made me laugh to think that nowhere else would baton-twirling skills be such a hit except in an eccentric performance like Cirque du Soleil.)

I felt kind of guilty because I didn't think the show was as great as I thought it would be. If I had to choose between watching the Blue Man Group and Ka again, I'd definitely go for Blue Man Group. I felt extremely guilty when BF's Mom read on our faces that we enjoyed the Blue Man Group more (especially b/c Ka tickets were more expensive). I was still very grateful that we got to go. I'm a cheeseball -- I love watching Cirque du Soleil productions!

After the show, we walked back through MGM Grand where I found another gift store. I ran into the store just to realize it was the same gift shop that I had hit before the show (talk about STML!). We quickly taxi'd over to Gold Coast.

Actually, it wasn't quick enough. It was a long 15 minute drive with a comedian moonlighting as a cabbie (or vice-versa). He was pretty much practicing his comedic routine on us. I wasn't too impressed because he joked how LA's the "land of fruits and nuts" like we're all granola/tree-huggers. On second thought, maybe it was a double entendre...Hm. If that's the case, then hey, that is kinda funny. =P (I know I'm a nut.) I also didn't find him very humorous b/c he cracked a lot of political jokes...which is like a foreign language to me. I am the last person to know what is going on with who in D.C.

We met with BF's parents and then wandered back to Red Rock. I wasn't feeling so great so instead of Rubio's (what I really wanted), BF got me Panda Express (he thought that rice would make me feel better). I was all confused b/c he only got one-entree so why was I getting 2 entrees? He answered," Because you're special" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. :) That and b/c I am apparently a piggy! Of course I only ate half of my meal (b/c I eat so slow).

As a last ditch effort, I asked BF's mom if there were any more gift shops at Red Rock. I had checked one of the gift shops out but it was like a bougie boutique gift shop that sold huge (ugly) "Western" post cards for $3. Unfortunately, BF's Mom didn't know of any other. :(

We set forth on our gambling run. Only this time, I did a 180 on my gambling mentality. You see, according to BF and BF's Mom, you never win when you gamble to make money. You gotta just play to have fun. So throughout the night, that was my attitude. I'm just gonna have fun. I played a little bit and then found a machine that I thought would be fun to play.

Normally I hate aliens. Can't stand them. I even got freaked out the first time I watched "Men in Black." But man, the Men in Black penny slot machine was showing love! I sat down and put in $20 + BSILF's lucky dollar. With BF as my witness, the first dollar played was for BSILF. Although BSILF gave me instructions to play 25 cent slots/bets, I was at a penny slot so I bet 20 cent bets. Well, the first and second 20 cents hit nothing. :( Third 20 cent hit 35 cents. Woo-hoo! Fourth 20 cent hit got the bonus!!! With the conservative bet, the bonus raked in a whopping $1.00. So, BSILF won $1.35!!! :D Big money! ;)

I actually won $40 on that machine before we left. Dude, it pays to just play for fun!

We got home not too late and I finished up the rest of my meal while BF's Mom ate a delicious Rubio's burrito. =P It was a sad moment packing up my belongings for the Sunday flight home.

Best Show Ever on a "Tragic" Night

I forgot to mention that as I fell asleep Friday night, BF surfed the internet for things for us to do on Friday. We were originally going to go to the Bellagio dinner buffet, but after eating out twice on Thursday, we all couldn't handle another huge dinner.

Instead, we slept in and hit a late lunch/early dinner buffet at Sun Coast (so much for avoiding a huge dinner!). Heehee. :) I think we may retire in Vegas just so we can rack up all the rewards and get comps at every casino. Our meal cost a whopping total of $3.29 for 4 people!!

After our lunch/dinner, BF's parents dropped us off at the Wynn, since I wanted to check it out. I've been hearing and reading about it even before it was built; the law firm I used to work for was representing the whole ordeal. I finally got to see what all the hype was about...and the hype wasn't all that. Frankly, I wasn't too impressed with the inside. I'm sure my eyes would've been popping if we were staying in one of the suites, though. We walked through the faux forest/orchard; that was mediocre compared to Bellagio's Garden. The waterfalls outside were lovely, though. We stood outside on the corner to admire the post-card view of the Strip.

Inside the Wynn was also where I began my quest to find the perfect postcard for Grama Dub (a.k.a. Gram-Cracker). BSILF graciously asked that if I had a moment, to send Grama Dub a post-card b/c Grama Dub really appreciates receiving mail and from all parts of the world. I thought that was soOOOoOoOo sweet of BSILF to always think of her Grama and that it was a unique way of letting Grama know that she is thought of not only by her grand-daughter, but also by people who admire her grand-daughter and show their admiration by carrying out such a simple request by surprising Grama with mail. (Does that make sense?)

The picky Hallmarker that I am didn't like any of the ones there. (This is why I rarely send out cards; I have to pick one that I like! =P) I didn't want to choose a hotel one (i.e., Wynn) b/c it's not like I was staying there. I didn't want one with a showgirl or bronzed buns either. I didn't think that'd be appropriate. So my search continued at the Venetian.

BF had bought us tickets a few hours prior for the Blue Man Group at the Venetian. Since we were all ODing on buffets, he treated us to the Blue Man Group show instead of the Bellagio buffet. We didn't see any gift stores on the way (except the Blue Man Group gift store) so my post-card quest came to a halt again as we posted up at the Aquanox Bar in front of the Blue Man theatre.

As for the show, I really wasn't expecting much at all; just 3 blue men creating beats with PVC pipes. OMG, the show was bangin'! It was absolutely hysterical and mind-blowing! (I'm so glad we went to the show instead of the buffet. We'll always have a chance to eat at the buffet mamiat.) We couldn't stop raving about it! (And for my SLP-pleasure, they even provided free ear-plugs!)

After the show, we waited in a long line for a taxi. As we recapped the show, our mood was dampened a little by the drunk, angry fewl standing behind us. He was cussing really loudly into his phone at his GF. Normally, I can stand obscenities for the most part. Once in a while, it is extremely offensive, like at that moment. I didn't want to say anything to BF b/c I know he was trying really hard to just ignore the fewl. The last thing I wanted was for the BF to tell the fewl to be respectful of the people around and for that to erupt into a fight. (It was also at that point that I thought, 1) thank God BF is my BF and 2) his Dad gave him his Emerson before we left.) By the time we finally got into a cab (our first female cabbie!), I was nauseous b/c that guy badly wreaked of alcohol. I'm glad he didn't hock his loogie at me or I would've turned around and fought him. He was doing that gross thing of deep-snorting loogies and spitting it over his shoulder into the flowers.

Anywho, we cabbed over to Red Rock to meet his parents. There, we gambled a little more on penny slots. I was still holding onto BSILF's lucky dollar b/c we were having a loser night! We were down about $100 by the end of the night. As we left the casino, all I could say was, "Oh, what a tragic night." Losing that much was an absolute tragedy!

BF stayed up talking to Mom while I sat, listened, and chimed in every so often. It was nice to see and hear that BF's always had a strong relationship with the women in his life. From Lola to Inay...to GF. :)

First Time Missing Class

Since Monday night, I've only gotten 4 hours of sleep each night b/c I've been looking forward to our vacation!

On Thursday morning, Bro and FBIL dropped BF & I off at LAX. At 8:43 AM, we flew off to Vegas for an early start on the weekend. BF rsvp'd tixs for us over a month ago so missing a class was...(dunh dunh DUNH)...premeditated, partner. I was a bit nervous about missing class for the first time as an oh-so-mature (snicker*snicker) graduate student with perfect attendance, but on my first flight to Vegas, I left my anxiety back in L.A. (where my laptop stayed, too).

Our flight was extremely short and sweet; not long enough for peanuts but long enough for a complimentary cup of O.J. LA was a little overcast so I didn't get to see us circle above the Marina before heading East, but the view was still fabulous. We arrived exactly on time and caught a cab over to Mandalay Bay where we met BF's parents around 11. We had brunch at Raffles Cafe where I had a delicious grilled chicken sandwich. I figured I sould have something relatively healthy since several buffets were on our agenda...b/c what is a trip to Vegas without hitting a buffet?

Afterwards, BF & I went to Shark Reef, something I've been looking forward to since the last/first time I went. This aquarium is absolutely marvelous. The first animals we saw were reptiles. I'm not that fond of reptiles, except -- BIG "except" -- for turtles, but the Golden Crocodiles and Asian Water Monitors were a beautiful sight. We saw tons of tropical fish, stingrays, and sharks! They still have a stingray petting pool, but I believe that since Steve Irwin's unfortunate accident, that area just isn't as popular as it used to be. The way the aquarium is built is amazing; fish, stingrays, and sharks swim all around you -- in front, above, and below you.

Of course the main attraction for me was the 3 sea turtles. Actually, many (kids) stood around for a glimpse of these magnificent creatures. BF spotted one first, close to the surface. I could only see its shadow for a few seconds before it disappeared. After a few minutes, we spotted them again before they entered the feeding area way up high, close to the surface (approximately 2 stories up). Unfortunately for me, the fence came down and closed off the feeding area. I stood there for practically 20 minutes, catching glimpses of their shadows whenever they swam near the fence. I even got to see one of them eat (fish). I know it was 20 minutes b/c BF got tired of waiting for me and the turtles so he'd sit down and then check up on me every few minutes. Then they turned off the lights in the feeding area and that was it. No more sea turtles. :( I guess they needed their afternoon nap. My turtle goes to sleep the minute her lights turn off, too. Or even before her lights turn off!

Speaking of my turtle, Uncles Bren took care of her while we were away. This was their first time seeing how much personality my little turtle has. :) She is quite a character. I missed her a lot. I missed her so much that when we got home, BF said to our turtle, "Oh, Turtle, your momma missed you so much. Everyday, she'd look at your pictures on her phone." (I wonder why people think I'm obsessed with turtles?)

Anywho, after we exited the aquarium, we of course ended up at the gift store. BF teased that if I found a sea turtle shot glass, he'd get it for me for my shot glass collection. He definitely wasn't expecting me to find them, but I found a set of 2! I declined those for a mug. Then as I looked around for jewelry in the kids' section, he called me over, showing me a sea turtle charm. I walked out of that store with the sea turtle charm proudly replacing my Tiffany's heart charm. =P

We went back to BF's parents place and rested a little bit. That's when BF's Mom gave me a soft stuffed doggy animal. :) That was really sweet. (She got one for BF's sister and one for me.) I think I'll name her Timmy, after their last doggy.

While my classmates were in class, (I wasn't thinking about how it was classtime) I was in line for the Red Rock Casino dinner buffet. Yummy! BF's Dad wasn't kidding when he said they had the best cappuccino ice-cream.

I think we gambled a smidget on penny slots and lost like $40! So we called it a night. A fun night. :)

First Day of Classes (again)

Yesterday was the first session of Tuesday classes.

The worst realization yesterday was that this quarter is not going to be as easy as I thought! I mean, receiving a 15 page syllabus is kind of a tip-off. Thankfully, this professor is sorta like Thursday's Professor ~ really easy-going. I love that she is the most tech-savvy Prof I have ever had, too. She tries so hard to make everyone's life easier.

My day started off quite early. I woke up at 5:30 for no good reason and spent like 2 hours organizing grad school papers (don't ask). After my short hour with FBIL, I jammed to school. I had my first piano class and it was pretty fun. A part of it was b/c I was really entertained by the variety of piano-playing. The guy next to me was definitely not a beginner. All I could think about was, "What a show-off!" At the same time, I laughed to myself b/c 1) I always laugh to myself. 2) He was actually genuinely friendly to everyone, like helping his other neighbor find the middle of the keyboard. 3) The song he kept playing, I played over a decade ago, too. I was just hating on him b/c I couldn't remember the song at the time. (It's the first song on the Suzuki Method Vol. 6 cassette tape that Mom gave me ages ago.)

Instead, I just faked that I was a beginner b/c I didn't want the prof to kick me out! She almost did until I told her that this was my only opportunity since I can't come on Mon/Wed and I'll be off-campus next quarter.

I had my conference call with clinic supervisor and that was fine. She was really helpful and really intuitive. This should be another good learning (through mistakes) quarter. =P I have 2 kiddos again; both are ELL. Oh yeah, I think I'm supposed to research a little bit on Spanish syntax and how it compares to English. Yikes.

AAC Prof let us out early (woo-hoo!) so that was great! Actually, what I forgot about her is that she can be really entertaining and say the funniest phrases. (She also taught me the acronym FLK. Funny-Looking Kid. "Y'know, that one FLK that never really has any friends, is a little off, but the other kids aren't exactly sure why." The "why" is b/c the kid has a disability or disorder).

As we were leaving, KR gave me a $1 to play in Vegas for her. I'm not one to gamble...nor is she! But I promised her that if she gave me a $1 to play for her, it'd be luckier than me playing a dollar for her. The reason being is that many moons ago, BF pulled the same stint. He told his co-worker that when she's in Vegas, please do one thing for him. If she sees a roulette table that just hit on 17 or 31, put his $10 on 10. She was walking past some tables, totally plastered, saw one of the 2 numbers and told some guy she had just met, "hold on, I need to do something for my co-worker." So she's like drunk and talking to the guy as the ball's spinning, telling him that it's so not going to hit.

It totally hit and she walked away in shock with $310. True story! (Last night, when I asked him to re-tell me the story, he added, "I'm actually surprised that she even gave me the money. I wasn't close to her or anything. She could've easily walked away with it all and not even tell me. I gave her $50 for it.").

So this weekend, my mission is find a lucky quarter slot machine and hit the jackpot for KR. If we're lucky, I'll earn $50, too. That and 479 notes. :D

C&K's GMT for old times' sake ;)

So I thought that as a college-teen, my writing would be a little deeper. I thought wrong...they're just crazier and weirder.

WARNING: This is uncensored. Apologies for any anticipated offense.

November 17, 1998~

Boy have I got a mouthful. Tonight, BGF, FA, & I went to the Lil Sis Rush. That was fun. Last night BGF & I went to Cold Stone Creamery for her pledge class fundraising and that was dopeness! I had a French Vanilla Cream w/ Irish Creme and Crunch bar in a waffle cone. It was just so fun! Like the ice-cream and the 40 degree weather? Y'know. Then last night, DMF called me in the midst of his breakdown. He's such a mess. I promised him I wouldn't think less of him but still. He was s'posed to come by. Instead, no mention. He admits/confesses he drank and DID fricken coke. Th 11/5 we had the whole 3 AM drama (you are the biggest flake! Half-ass!). 11/6, DMF wanted me to meet him at a party. Instead, I went to dinner with K. Watched Bad Boys with BGF, then when we were almost done, DMF drama again! He's yelling at me cuz he got RSO'd and then he goes, "Fuck you!...Why are you yelling at me?!" I was like, "No! FUCK YOU! R U smoking crack?! I have not said a complete sentence to you til now!" 11/7, he came over and I opened a big can of whoop ass. I lay everything on him, esp. the Fuck You. Then BGF, E, and I went to see "The Siege." My thoughts of DMF? Don't even want to start. 11/4: 1 AM psycho bus ride.

The good old angsty days (without full details. I must've been lazy that day, hence the short re-cap of dramatic events). This is what Mortified is all about! It's funny that what was so serious back then is just hysterical now... BTW, apologies for the uncensored portions.

Okay, a little Hx. In college, I had a ridiculous and utterly stupid attribute of keeping silent in the midst of anything really emotional, like fights with the BF. It'd drive DMF insane. That was my immature way of getting a rise out of him, since I would have so many sleepless nights agonizing over him. He must've really gotten to me; not only did I break my silence the moment he swore that I was yelling at him when I literally had NOT said a word, but I even cussed back at him! Was I really that nonchalent, though? Like after I "opened a big can of whoop ass," I went to go see a (bad) flick?

Sidenote: "E" was one of the creepiest guys I have never known. Why did I even bother to write that we went to see a bad movie with him? Remember my aforementioned stupid attribute? I broke that silence wall SOOOO many times around him. He really got under my skin. For dropping the ball on this entry, my redemption is presenting to you another journal entry:

February 27, 1999~

Today, I drove home starting at 7 AM and also bought Winchell's donuts. Man, glutton guilt. Ate so much (junk) yesterday and today. Yesterday was most interesting. I woke up and went downstairs to exercise (record, baby! Sat. 2/20 --> Fri 2/26 straight up!). We went to UTC & I got a burgundy skirt from Guess Collections. Went to school for Iain's OH. George brought me home (I got weirded out cuz I didn't want him to feel like I expolicitly wanted him to bring me home). We ended up going to dinner at Islands with J, E, K, & weird drama. Waiting at CPK, E had the biggest tripout over AK. I straight up busted out w/ a "Why do you/are you tripping out so much?!" cuz it's so gay to the infinite power! Then he tried to really get close. This is the second huge time he's gone way into my personal space. He ran his hands down my arms, taking my hands and was totally gonna pull me in for a hug. I actually stopped him by putting my hands in front of me for defense and even uttered a, "Don't!" Right then, I just wanted an escape, a distance. He just gets way too close. Later, over to Islands, he stuck out his arm for me to take. When I didn't, he pulled my arm. I pulled away! At dinner, he sat next to me of couse and kept on wanting to share a pie? Get a clue! ...

E was just such a weird, creepy guy. My first year roomie, AK, met him at her first party the first week of first year...and he would NOT let that go, over a year later. Talk about baggage! They went on ONE date. He'd like flirt with me to get back at her. It made me so sick. I used to literally run the other direction when I saw him coming. Now that I think about it, he may have had a voice disorder. Like talking in falsetto. Pu-hahaha!

What else is scary is that I still talk like this: "busted out" & "___ to the infinite power."

As for the 11/4 1 AM psycho bus ride, I didn't write anything about it b/c I was probably so traumatized by it that I thought I'd remember it forever. Or maybe I was trying to somewhat repress it ASAP. Eithery way, I don't remember that bus ride in detail. I was at school studying until Geisel Library closed (at midnight). Then I waited for the last bus to pick me up around 12:30 AM. It was by far the spookiest bus ride ever.

First of all, the new bus driver totally went the wrong route (didn't make a left turn onto Nobel) so she had to bust the gnarliest U-turn in the Ralphs shopping center parking lot. That would've been fine with me except that there was a crazy man. He looked really crazy, too. Older man with crazy hair and beard. I think he kept trying to talk to me but I kept ignoring him.

OMG, I think I kind of do remember. (So much for 8 years of repression just for me to dig it up.) He sat down next to me which completely freaked me out. (There was probably no more than 5 other stragglers on the bus.) When it was my stop and I tried to leave, he grabbed my arm, and I totally went (silently) hysterical. I jumped up and he followed me to the door and kept asking me what my name was or some personal information. He finally let go.

I imagine I frickin ran home like no tmrw. I also imagine my BGF must've freaked out and lectured me about never taking the bus that late and calling her for a ride instead. I'm sure I kept riding the bus...just during normal hours.

Unfortunately, I was well-known -- and still am, but to a far lesser extent -- of being victim to the creepiest, scariest situations. Seriously, I really think that's why I am soOOoOOOOOoOOOOOoo paranoid and very cautious these days.

"Dopeness" ~ Was I describing the ice-cream or the event?? Probably the ice-cream. Although I remember having lots of fun, it must have been damn good ice-cream for me to describe exactly what flavors I mixed and to enjoy it so much in 40 degree weather.

Late Mortified Monday entry almost up

So I totally dropped the ball a week after I announced GMT being re-released as Mortified Mondays! But I have a great reason!

Aside from yesterday being a busy day, bro, FBIL, and I attended the Mortified show at King King last night! It was so much fun...especially for a school night! (Yes, wild me.) I was really impressed, too, at these people's writing skills as a teenager. Lots of emotions poured into their poems, musical lyrics, scripts, love letters, and diary/journal entries. Makes my diary entries look like 5 year-old pieces. =P Unfortunately, my partner-in-crime and her husband didn't make it b/c she has been extremely ill. :(

So I was in the midst of picking an entry (breaking Rule #1) to post, but FBIL dropped by to pick up a few things he left in my car. Instead, we went for coffee and a brief walk around the neighborhood. So, sorry, guys, Mortified entry will be up late tonight!

Off to school...

Blogger in Beta

I've decided to give the Beta version a try. So far, I have a love-hate relationship. I like the template that I have now on this old skool site (3 columns) but the Beta version has a new way of labeling and classifying things!! I want to work with it a little more before I launch it. =P

I wish I had my BF's and Law School Cousin's HTMLing skills.

Separate Days

What a long, adventurous and fun day it was! We spent the entire morning making stops with Gramma, Dad, and Genius Cousins’ Mom. On the car ride to lunch, I sat with my Dad. I’m not very inclined to drive with Dad b/c it’s nerve-wracking. He is the type of slow, lackadaisical driver that I can’t stand. As his passenger, I am constantly telling him to speed up because his slow driving is hazardous to other drivers. As we cruised along the street, he zipped past my bro (who was driving my Elsa) at one point. I almost commented to my dad, “Aren’t you driving fast!” Instead, he beat me to the punch ~ “Did you notice how fast I’m driving now?”

“Yes, I was just gonna comment.”
“Yeah, I drive really fast now.”
”Oh?”
“Yeah. [Chuckle] I got pulled over the other day for driving too slow!”
“WHAT! You lie! Are you serious, Dad?”
“Yes I’m serious.”
“See Dad! I told you! And you never believed me! I always told you that you could get a ticket for driving too slow!!...Are you serious?”
“Yes, I’m serious.”
“Let me see the ticket then.”
”Well, I didn’t get a ticket. I got a warning.”
“What happened?”

So my dad was on the freeway driving slow as usual. He claims he was driving 45 mph. The cop said he was driving 40 mph. 40!! My dad made up a story about his transmission being shot and he was literally about to exit at the next one so the cop let him go.

I’m still laughing about this! My dad never believes anything that my bro and I tell him. Man he cracks me up.

The rest of the afternoon was spent at Dentist Aunty’s, and then bro and I stopped by the mall to get Susan’s b-day gift. My bro ended up getting me a Cuisinart Santoku. :D The Macy’s lady told us that instead of getting a $57 Henckel’s Santoku, we should try the Cuisinart; many customers have gone back to Macy’s to buy ‘em to give as gifts b/c they perform just as well ~ if not better than Henckel’s. Crazy! So my bro got me one when we stopped by Bed, Bath & Beyond. Hooray! I need a good set of knives. BF used both of our kitchen knives 2 years ago to cut some tubes and pipes for our turtle’s aquarium set-up. He has only sharpened one of them once. I can’t stand cutting meats with either of the knives b/c they don’t cut!

Afterwards, we headed to Susie’s to celebrate her birthday. We had fried zucchini (my compliments; I've had a hankering for them since last, last Easter) and fancy delicious pizza. (I can't believe I've had pizza 3 nights this week. I am soOOOoo having a fat, cholesterol night.) There, LynnieLovePoem asked, where’s BF? BF was having his own adventurous day.

Before he left, he took the turtle out to play for 5 minutes or so. When he put her back in the tank, he noticed that she had knocked off the filter tip. As he affixed it, the little green machine creeped up on him and nipped the back of his hand! =O The turtle gave the BF a love-bite! Awww. =)

BF spent most of his day at another video shoot for/with Roscoe. This time, he brought back a little souvenir for me. Yeah! An “I love Roscoe” tank top. Hahaha! =) I am soOOoO gonna wear it when he comes over next time. BF also got yet another t-shirt…not in XXL this time, but XXXL. Gees! If I had a camera, I’d post a pix of the wifebeater next to the T-shirt. BF designed both of the shirt (fronts).

I’m still waiting for him to design a turtle piece for me. :D

Friday Coffee

Today's guest post is from my brother ~ posted without permission. :)

Preface: I love getting e-mails from my bro. He is the opposite of me. I heavily rely on e-mailing while he lives by the phone. Actually, he is by far the person that I call the most for. I wish he had a direct line just to receive calls from me. Haha! So anywho, he hardly ever e-mails me but when he does, they bring me much joy, even when it’s a one-liner (b/c they’re usually really funny).

He sent me an e-mail this morning and said, "Here are some really good quotes I saw on Coffee Bean cups." Now, I am a big fan of Starbucks mainly b/c it's familiar territory. On the other hand, my bro is a big fan of Coffee Bean. I have to agree that I like their idea of memorable quotes on a coffee cup. It’s as if they are giving their customers a tip. :) There are some good ones; some I've seen before.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away—Anonymous

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift—Eleanor Roosevelt

Be the change you wish to see in the world—Gandhi

Dance as though no one is watching you. Love as though you have never been hurt before. Sing as though no one can hear you. Live as though heaven is on earth—Souza

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart—Helen Keller

Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart—Unknown

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?—Unknown

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.—Unknown

Happiness is a journey, not a destination—Souza

Go Coffee Bean! Changing one person one cup of coffee at a time!

On the subject of coffee, Charles Maurice de Talleyrand (1754-1838) described it as, "Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love." I love coffee.

Zero Week

Today was a day of adventure. I encountered some "weekend" drivers on a Thursday! (a.k.a. HORRIBLE drivers on the 10 around noon today.) Gees.

Despite all of that, I got to school on time for my first class. I felt like such a freshman. I was looking for my new class when I saw a bunch of students sitting on the floor in the hallway. I asked a student what class they were all waiting for. The guy said, "It's Music 243 A." Homie, you ain't gotta be embarrassed about taking intro to piano! Shortly after, my new friend (previous summer clinic client) showed up, and we shot the breeze while we waited for the instructor. No surprise ~ the instructor didn't show up. (Which idiot decided that we should have class zero week?) So I was a little annoyed that I came to school so friggin early especially b/c I was so exhausted (BF woke me up at 7 AM b/c he couldn't sleep).

The day wasn't a waste, though. After the customary 15 minutes passed, I met up with my knitters-by-day and classmates-by-night and had a blast chatting with them (and getting no work done). By no fault of theirs, I felt so left out. As they diligently worked on a marvelous charity project, Stitches from the Heart, I didn't participate b/c I'm so retarded! From the moment I saw them (before MUS 243A to after), they kept inviting me to join in. I insisted I was going to do work. Of course I didn't get any work done. Instead, I just ate, chatted, and stared in fascination at their knitting. I really should've just joined in the fun already!

The knitting reminded me of my gramma. She taught me how to crochet when I was younger. I crocheted about 2 scarves and then she taught me how to crochet a doily. I was halfway done with my crappy doily when I gave up. :( Sadly, I never picked it up again. Now that knitting's so trendy, I'm feeling inspired again by my classmates.

As my classmates knitted, I went to talk to Former Dept. Chair to confirm our friend's b-day (club Treasurer). That's when FDC called me "gutless." What?! Okay, so I know I'm a pansy, but hey, man, I don't like a professor calling me a chicken! Especially the FDC! He called me gutless for not coming with it on the other blog I update for the club I'm a Secretary for. A first year anonymously asked which grad classes are the toughest. I discussed this with club President and Newsletter Editor...and us 3 co-V.P.s discussed and agreed that there is no one (or two) tough classes. Every class is so different and everyone has their unique strengths (and weaknesses). I wasn't about to say which classes only I thought were tough. Well, either way, FDC agreed with me (even though he still gave me a hard time) and then said, "Well, it was written well and diplomatically."

For the record, neuro has NEVER been my forte. The fact that we had a neuro class almost every quarter killed me. I already suffer from STM and ADD so rote memorization of pages upon pages of neuro pathways and all that stuff was agonizing. Fortunately, I did better than I expected. In FDC's classes, I did worse than I expected in some.

The gutless pansy that I am, is afraid to answer next week's question now that I know he is going to read it!

Re-Orientation

If I had began my blog a year ago, my entry would've consisted of how terrified I was about beginning this grad program. Instead, you get an entry a year later and a year wiser (I hope).

Today was the orientation for the new first year grads. Time-out: YAY! I'm officially a 2nd year grad student! Unfortunately, I've been considered a grad student even as a post-bacc student. It is unfortunate b/c it totally messed up my financial aid. I waited in line for about half an hour today in sweltering body heat to find out why I was declined financial aid for the entire year. Something about how I exceeded the maximum units allowed for my degree. So retarded.

Anywho, we had a joint orientation meeting with new and returning students from both specialities. For us 2nd years, it was our re-orientation. Remember to apply for this, request that, complete paperwork, don't forget to graduate, etc. Lucky for the first years, the previous Dept. Chairman didn't give the orientation. Last year, that man left us trembling in our seats. I have to give him credit, though; he was just calling it as it is. Expect to dedicate the next 2 years of your life to nothing but school. Expect to work harder than you've ever worked in your life.

He wasn't kidding. Somehow, we all made it through our first year. It's been rough, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Sure I've lost lots of hair and sprouted fields of stress hairs. Sure I have a terrible habit of relieving stress through junk-food binging at 1 A.M. It's okay, though. I want to go into this field with the certainty that when I see clients, they are receiving the best service possible from me.

I have to say, I am thoroughly impressed that 2 students who graduated 2 years ago, recently opened up a joint practice. I didn't know it was possible to do it that soon. Hey, if you have the resources and experience, more power to you! I ain't mad.

One thing at a time for now. Tomorrow, I'll be enjoying my official last day of vacation...watching the season premier of America's Next Top Model! Yeah!

Mortified Mondays: 8 years ago

Lucky for you (or not), I found my old journal in the way end of the my bro's closet a few days ago. My journal entries are much different (and longer) than my diary entries...What do you mean what do I mean? You'll see.

As I opened my journal for the first time in over 5 years, I was amazed at the things that I've written. You may beg to differ, but I find it so much more interesting to read my journal than my diary. I tried really hard to choose a random entry (Rule #1), but I couldn't exactly do it; hence, my entry from exactly 8 years ago. I was 18 years old and still trying to figure myself out before I began my 2nd year of college.

September 18, 1998~

Today, tonight, I am feeling a little off (in a different way, of course). It's kind of like something's happening within me but I can't put a finger on it. I've been hungry all day and biting my fricken nails still. I kind of feel this sadness. Go figure. Guh also brought home Mom's gift for me and my birthday. I started putting on this funky leafed Thailand shirt and I'm like, "Who does Mom think I am?" in a tripped out tone, and Guh's like, "Her daughter." Oooh. Man. I don't know why I'm tripping. I totally feel like I need a transition from here to there, Rancho Cuckoomando to San Weedego, summer to fall, family to roommates. But there's no where to go. I can't just disappear. I think I just figured out this phase that I'm going thru this evening: I feel like every other person hates me or doesn't like me. Insecurity, I tell you. At its best/worst. I hate when I feel like I have to play up to meeting people's expectations. It's like my life's become this challenge of filling this image that people have created for me. The weed-out thing is, is that the image had to have come from somewhere...like me perhaps? Somehow. Image becomes too much.

Now I remember ~ I kept my diary for condensed reports of my immature crushes and heartaches. My confidential journal is where a lot of my self-discovery takes place. My bro originally bought it for me in HS when I was having a weird phase of disturbing nightmares for consecutive nights (I can still vividly recall one, even though it was 9 years ago). My UCLA pre-psychologist bro instructed me to write my nightmares down in details and try to self-analyze. So I did when I remembered...but the journal become so much more than a record of dreams and nightmares. It became my way of figuring myself out.

FYI: I have no idea what I meant by "weed-out" and this is definitely one of my shorter entries!

LA Wine Festival

My break is coming to an an end, and I'm not so much in denial since BF's been counting the days down for me. I've also began assuming my NSSLHA Secretary role once more so that helps me get into school-mode, too (e.g., spending an hour composing short, corny mass e-mails). I originally intended to bum around for the remaining days, but bro decided that I must join him and friends today for a little wine tasting.

So Bro, FBIL, Lynnielovepoem, & I went to the L.A. Wine Festival. It was proclaimed to be the biggest wine festival to ever hit L.A. ~ featuring 500 wines! I was already toasty after 4 samples (within the first 10 minutes at 1 table). Faded by the 7th. So we hit the chocolate fountain that bro and I had been eyeing for forever and then sat outside.

Oh, the funny thing is that this event was held at the Vanguard. This is how long I've been out of the scene ~ I didn't even know Giant is there now! Hey, I LOVED the mirrorballs though. I have no clue why I'm obsessed with mirrorballs.

Anywho, so we hit the heavenly fountain, got yummy strawberries and cheese, bought delicious sushi and desserts, and sat outside where it was heatstroke weather. I was feeling peachy and sober, but when it was time to go back inside, I felt a heatstroke/ETOH-induced faint coming on. I excused myself to use the lady's room, but I had to sit down before I made it there. Lucky for me, FBIL was trailing me b/c he was gonna hold my wine glass. He ended up having to hold me. Well, let me lean on him until it passed.

I'm such a party pooper. :( I ended up recalling the major times in my life when I completely fainted. Thank God I never incurred any TBIs. Just humiliation.

Runner-Up x 3

OMG! RedEarSlider.com posted the August/September Winner sometime between my post last night and now!

Although my precious baby is not the winner, all 3 of her pictures are final contestants!! Woo-hoo!! Check it out ~ pictures 5, 6, & 7 (submitted by Chanel No. 13). I guess they did get my original e-mail (and I submitted 2 different ones from last night).

This is picture #5. It just may be my all-time favorite picture. If you look closely, she is eating a fish. (Mu-hahaha!) I love this picture because it's crisp, natural, and beautiful. Plus, all RES hatchlings are adorable, especially Lil F. ;) I think this was the third time she ate a fish (second time I actually witnessed it). I am normally disgusted by guts and gore, so it's a big mystery how I can drive to Petco (so out of my way) and giddily purchase fish for Lil F to massacre for dinner. She takes after her carnivorous daddy. Or maybe she takes after her mommy who loves seafood.

This is a frequent desktop picture of mine for several reasons. For one, I love the illusion that her red ears are yellow...and that her reflection accurately portrays them as red. Very subtle detail. I also like it because it captures her in deep thought ~ like she's contemplating how much God has blessed her and will continue to. If it weren't for Daddy thinking about Mommy and how much she might like a turtle, she would've been dead within a week or two (which I cannot imagine!). She is extremely loved (and spoiled). (Unfortunately, Daddy had no idea how much Mommy would grow to love her turtle and sea turtles.)

This last picture is great because it exhibits her natural-born talent. :D She's a natural-born model! This would be equivalent to a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model photo on the beach. What more can I say? She's a natural.

I <3> my turtle. She has brought so much joy into our home. She has been my natural therapy from day 1. Whenever I'm stressed, I just watch her swim gracefully or stare into her beautiful, hypnotizingly gorgeous green eyes and I'm instantly soothed. I know it sounds crazy but I never realized how much I could love a turtle...a living thing that may not have much regard for me (except around feeding time). It makes me think of when mommies establish the first communication act with their pre-verbal infants. The infants coo and the mommy attaches significant meaning to the sounds. When my turtle splooshes wildly, I think she's trying to get my attention (e.g., she wants me to take her out to play). Whether mommies interpret the right meanings, mommies are happy to be with their baby. I am happy to be with my turtle.

P.S. I like redearslider.com and their gallery because all of them are completely un-photoshopped. I've visited other galleries and almost every picture is altered. For shame. What happened to natural beauty? ;)

Gallery Contestant

I'm like one of those fanatic beauty pageant mommies. I have patiently/anxiously been waiting for the August/September Gallery Winner to be announced on RedEarSlider.com.


Back in July or August, I submitted 3 pictures but tonight I couldn't find the original e-mail! As distraught as I was, I quickly submitted 3 again. I hope my baby wins.


These are a few of my favorite pictures. The first is from last April (4 months old). The second one is from January of this year (1:1).

Helps to be a girl

Yes, I post-dated my 9/11 tribute so that it would stay on top for the week. :) Also so I could continue blogging in "real" time but still observe remembrance. I wanted to note today because it was quite a feel-good day.

Last night, I stayed up watching "Akeelah and the Bee." Funny because I was watching "Coach Carter" earlier when my all-time favorite poem was recited. Even more interesting is that it resonated the sermon spoken on Sunday. =O

Anywho, I stayed up late watching the flicks so I slept in until about 1. :D Before I knew it, it was already 3 P.M. and so I jammed out to run a ton of errands. First stop was Hollywood Videos on Venice to return "Akeelah & the Bee." Then I went to the dry cleaners to drop off Gramma's pants (she would like to wear them while on vacation in China) where the gentleman in front of me cracked a joke; "I see you've got a large load there." Haha, yes. Next was returns at Radio Shack, Petco, and Circuit City. Making returns is always rewarding for me b/c I'm getting money back (or BF is).

The stops in Marina Del Rey is what is blogworthy. I went to get Costco gas and 91 was $2.96!! I laugh when I re-read my blog and see that I was tripping out over gas at $2.91. HAHA. Anywho, at the gas station, the attendant helped an older lady. She pulled up and embarrasingly asked if it was okay that she was on the "wrong" side. The attendant not only said it was okay, but he also pumped her gas. I thought that was very nice of him because I think the attendants usually don't like it when the car pulls up with the gas tank on the opposite side. Even moreso is that he gave her like full service; she didn't get out of her car at all. As he was pumping the gas, he swaggered over to me and said, "Hello, cutie, how are you today?" I was caught offguard, but he said it in an un-sleazy, innocent way so I responded automatically, "good, thx, how are you?"* Then as I was finishing up, he said, "God bless you!" Actually, I didn't think he was talking to me because it sounded like he was facing the older lady. As I drove away, I thought, maybe he was speaking to me because maybe he noticed I was done. Either way, I thought that was a nice experience. Usually, the only person that says "God bless you" to me is my Pastor Aunty. Oh, and my Dad's answering machine in Chinese.

*I tripped out on Friday at Circuit City when the exit check-out guy called me over because I was about to exit through the entrance. He said, "Oh, I was just calling you over this way so I could flirt with you" (as he checked my receipt to see if I jacked anything). I don't react very well when people catch me offguard like that so I said something retarded like, "Oh, don't say that."

At Costco, I was particularly pleased because I "helped" 2 people. I was deciding whether to get toothpaste when I noticed that below the first row of 4-packs were "buy 4 get 1 free" packs! With my $2.50 coupon, I was extremely thrilled at the bargain. A gentleman was standing there deciding, when he picked up a 4-pack. Another lady came by and grabbed a 4-pack, too. I said to both of them, "You should really get the 'buy 4, get 1 free' pack" and then helped them yank it out from underneath the first row. They were really thankful. I know it's really cheesy, but I was happy to help them out in that way.

Then I went to Hollywood Videos and was hooked up again! I grabbed 2 videos (had a coupon for rent 1, get 1 free) and 2 X-box games, but homeboy couldn't find one of the games (despite it saying there was 1 in the system). So I asked if they had some other game and he said they didn't have it at all. I said, no problem, and grabbed a different game. He said, "I charged you for the games." I stood there like an idiot, wondering why was he telling me that? The idiot that I am, asked him, "What do you mean?" Did he mean he accidentally charged me the full-price of 2 games?? He probably had one of my infamous moments of, "What do you mean what do I mean?" He clarified, "I only charged you for the games and not the videos." OoOOoh, that's what he meant. "Really?? Thank you so much!!"

Bro said he must've thought I was a gamer or something b/c he probably was one, too. I said, unlikely. I was on the phone w/ BF telling him they didn't have whichever game when that whole exchange took place. When I pranced out of the store and told BF, BF said, "It helps to be a girl."

Or maybe it was b/c I did a cheesy "good deed" at Costco...Or yeah, maybe because I'm a girl.

September 11, 2006: I Remember Moises N. Rivas

No one could ever forget what happened five years ago. As you read this, I ask you not to dwell on the tragedies and devastations that mark this day annually in history, but I humbly request that you join me in celebrating life. When D. Challener Roe began Project 2,996, he inspired thousands of volunteer bloggers by putting the innocent deaths into perspective ~ “Let us honor 9/11 victims by remembering their lives…and not their murderers.” Furthermore, Poet Laureate Andrew Motion expressed, “We cope with loss not by forgetting whoever has been taken from us, but by finding out how we can best live with our memories of them.”

Although many will remember Mr. Moises N. Rivas as one of the many victims of the September 11, 2001 tragedies, let us remember him for what he is most known for. Moises was a father, a husband, a chef, a musician, a singer, a dancer, and a friend to many.

Dreaming of being the next Emeril, Moises’ love for culinary art brought him to Windows on the World. For Moises, the act of serving was his career. As a Windows on the World chef, Moises prepared meals for patrons of the restaurant on the 106th floor of the North Tower of the World Trade Center. On the morning of September 11, 2001, Moises and 78 other staff-members were preparing breakfast for several large corporate meetings.

“He was a very nice and caring guy. I've known him since he started singing for the Ecuadorian community. He was a very important part of our community. He sang like an angel. He will always be remembered in our hearts as a very good singer, the best husband, the best father, and the best friend. ~ Esther de T.

The night before, Moises was up until 2 A.M. playing slow salsa on his guitar. From Ecuador, Moises immigrated to the “Land of Opportunities” with big dreams. Music was a passion of his; he dreamt of being the next Ricky Martin. In his pursuit, he wrote songs and led an up-and-coming band in Ecuador and the United States with his soulful voice. During a 1995 band performance in Queens, New York, Moises first laid eyes on Elizabeth, a contestant in a local beauty pageant that his band was performing at. Always known to be ambitious and confident, Moises made a $50 bet with a band-member that he could get Elizabeth to go out with him. Two weeks later, they were dating. Within a year, they were married. As some believe, it was love at first sight.

Six years and two children later, Moises’ love for his wife was still as strong as the day he fell in love with Elizabeth. Moises’ last recorded words were like a renewal of vows. As the North Tower became engulfed in flames, he called home and spoke to his stepdaughter, Cristal Barragan.

“He said, ‘tell [Elizabeth] not to worry; I’m OK. Tell her I love her no matter what. I love her.’” ~ Cristal Barragan

Two years after exchanging vows, Moises and Elizabeth had two children. Moises N. Rivas, Junior was 4 and Moesha D. Rivas was 2 at the time they lost their father. Stories were told about how much the 29-year old loved his two children.

“I had the opportunity to work with him in the music business, and he was an excellent group member as well as an exceptional human being. I have a fond memory of one time, when working with his band, side-by-side with my band... I can remember after each song he sang, he would run to the side of the stage to carry his newborn daughter.” ~ Michael Dominguez

Today, I remember Mr. Moises Rivas, a man passionate about life and loved by many. He brought joy to each person in his life, whether it was a closely loved one or an acquaintance. Even though he is not with us today, he continues to touch many ~ including strangers like me. Through recorded interviews and tributes, I have had the honor of getting to know Moises. Although I have never met him, I imagine Moises to be the kind of man who was a true joy and honor to know; his warmth, compassion, sincerity, integrity, and passions were exhibited through each action, whether it was through preparing a meal or strumming a guitar. This tribute does not come close to capturing Moises’ true essence, but my prayer is that others will catch a glimpse and be touched by him so that his legacy lives on. Thank you for joining me in remembering Mr. Rivas and the 2,995 that passed away in the World Trade Center five years ago. As 2,996 volunteer blogger Auntie Lyn said, “Five years is nothing when you measure that loss with love.”

“Moises, you were a wonderful person and I know you made everyone around you happy especially your wife and family.” ~ Sammy and Angel Saez

May each victim rest in peace. May God bless Moises' family and loved ones.

Above is a quilt patch made to keep memories of Moises alive. Photo courtesy of United in Memory 9/11 Victims Memorial Quilt™, Inc.

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Please join me in honoring all of the victims by visiting other blog tributes. Just click on the following:

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If you have any information regarding Moises or his family, please do not hesitate to contact me via e-mail. Thank you.

P.S. Mortification MIA

For those of you (the 2) who actually look forward to my weekly Mortified entries, I'm just giving you a heads up that K3 and I are foregoing our entry for next week.

Think of it as a longer moment of silence as I ask you to join me in remembering Mr. Moises Rivas and the remaining 2,995 victims of 9/11. Thanks.

RAoK: Rent 1 Get 1 Free

"Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty" ~ Anne Herbert

When writing the mantra post, I decided I'd blog about random acts of kindness that people commit. Today, somebody committed a random act of kindness* in my favor. It's kinda cheesy, but I totally appreciated it.

*Did you know that there's actually an acronym for "random act of kindness"? RAoK.

I went to the video store to return some DVDs and rent some X-Box games for the BF. I had no clue how pricey it is renting games. After narrowing it down to 3, I proceeded to the register. Homeboy was taking forever and a day finding the games, putting them in the display boxes, ringing me up, etc. Then he looked up at me and said, "I have a coupon here for 'rent 1, get 1 free.'" and he scanned it. I was really taken aback by his generous act. Of course I instantly felt guilty about whining in my head about how homeboy was taking forever to complete the transaction.

Wasn't that nice? Especially for someone who LOVES to use coupons. (How did he know?? JK)

I know, I know; it's natural for people to rationalize, "So what? It didn't cost him a penny." Bottom line is that he didn't have to do it, but he did, and I really appreciated it and it made me really happy. That's what makes it a RAoK (i.e., "selfless act performed by kind people to either help or cheer up a random stranger, for no reason other than to make people happier.")

If I go out tomorrow, I'm totally paying it forward. :)

C & K: Mortified Tuesday Column: woe is the ditzy girl who sat alone in the dark

I can't imagine (secret) blog-readers actually looking forward to me getting mortified on Tuesdays, but I received a lovely e-mail last night from pre-med cousin that said, "i gotta admit, your motified tues/mondays make me happy =). hahaha." I can't tell if the "hahaha" at the end was a good one or a spiteful one at my expense.

JK! Here's another boy-crazed one. It was either a day or two after graduation/grad nite...

June 15, 1997~

Life after grad is no diff. except that I miss people. I'm going away from SM w/ all these last minute infatuations and crushes. Above all, I LOVE ZK! I think my infatuation with JP was further encouraged by Cindy. And dinner w/ Mr. Hartman and his brother was fun. John was so cute cuz he's so childlike. It was interesting cuz he kept on insisting on knowing what Cindy and I were doing 4 summer. But my infatuation with ZK, Jr. graduated to a crush, I suppose. He was actually shy around me when I wanted to take a pix w/ him. He and MHS didn't even come to my grad. ZK is so cute. For a few min on our last day of school, I actually thought I had his attention. At grad nite, I hugged CL, twice. It bothers me how if I spend a time period only w/ him, I easily get infatuated w/ him. Becuz he is so cute to me. And he really makes me laugh. Him and JR were the only people I hugged twice that day. I gave CL good hugs. JR wanted to hug me. It was weird hugging JR. felt kinda good. I only slow danced to once song (w/ Johnny). The last song, I had such an incredible urge to pull CL along to dance w/ me. I didn't. I just sat in the dark. I didn't even dance w/ SN. I went w/ Joy to BR, again and talked to Melvin a few times that evening. I wonder if [XBF] will really come out to Rancho (or arrange for a ride) to pick me up. There was an odd moment between us at post-grad. I didn't get to let ZK know that I love him. Sniff, sniff. He ended his yrbk note for me w/ a "<3"> [heart]. How sweet. And JC: he really disappointed me. He should've been with us to graduate. So? Rama and David, too. JL & ML wrote the sweetest notes to me. I'll mis people like J & M for their humor, CL for the charm, Sophomre boys for personality... What'll people miss me for? Have I truly left my mark in people? This is only the beginning of the big life. Heehee: who will I love next?

You know I can't resist justifications, explanations, and self-commentaries:

• Yes, I had the hugest, dorkiest crush on ZK. No kidding it was an odd crush b/c ZK was like this goofy-looking sophomore tennis player.
• Re: CL ~ you have to understand something: CL coulda doubled for Brad Pitt. He seriously resembled that hot celebrity, but to a smaller degree (i.e., physique and fame).
• Re: Rama & David ~ rest in peace. Both of these young men passed away during our high school years. Both passed away under separate, equally tragic circumstances. (What's up with all my recent sentimental entries regarding death?)
• JC was a (spoiled-rotten) parachute kid who dropped out of HS for no good reason except that he hated being in school and knew he'd move back across seas to manage his Dad's business, so getting a HS diploma didn't matter. Why did I like him? B/c he was a "bad boy." HS girls like me were so ditzy.
• ZK signed my yearbook with a heart. And I was so excited over that. Hahahahahahaha! (I am a huge dork.)
• JR was a kid I knew since Junior High. He was the first person to ask me to a HS dance (but I wasn't allowed to go). By Junior year, rumors went around that he was gay but back then and in SM, being gay was definitely not accepted. I can't imagine how hard HS was for him. Just a few months ago, we got in touch (he first contacted my bro). I'm glad that he is doing well. :)
  
• Hey, it looks like I was beginning to mature for a brief millisecond with the rhetorical question about whether I've left my mark on others.
• "incredible urge"..."I didn't."..."I just sat in the dark." How melodramatic and pathetic. And mortifying. HS rules!

Dude, Dad just came around and saw my diary (good thing it's in small font and pattern-encrypted). He said, Wow! You still have your diary? Save all your diaries for me so I can have them and read them one day.

Can you imagine if he did???

Then he asked what I was doing with my diary. I simply said, "It's an internet project." (Sometimes having limited Taiwanese is advantageous.) He said, Oh, do you have a blog? (He even said "blog" in English. Crazy!) Um, m-hm. He said, That's great! One day your kids can read about your life, too!

Dad has always liked how I've kept journals ever since I was a little kid. Keeping a journal was really Ama's idea. She used to make us sit down and write about our days (and do an hour's worth of long multiplication and division). Those entries were really lame, too; "I woke up. I brushed my teeth and combed my hair. We went to school. I stood up and did the flag salute..." You get the idea.

Oh man, if my kids are going to read my blog one day, maybe I should retire as a Mortified Columnist already...

A Tribute to the Crocodile Hunter

Crocodile Hunter, may God rest your soul. May God be with your loved ones.

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I have been meaning to pay a written tribute to Mr. Steve Irwin, since I first read the Yahoo news 40 minutes after the newsbreak about his passing. It's weird for me to realize how one person across the world could have such an effect on me. I first found out around 2 A.M. Monday morning when I was researching and reading tributes to Mr. Moises Rivas, the man I will honor on September 11th. I was absolutely stunned at the news of the Crocodile Hunter's passing.

BF was sleeping and happened to wake up for a brief second, so I ran to him and broke the news. Not a minute later, he was up reading about the newsbreak. We are both HUGE Discovery Channel fans (and I, Animal Planet, too) so we've seen quite a number of his shows. I have always admired how him and Jeff Corwin could fearlessly mingle with the wildlife that they love most. His way of passing is truly unfortunate.

Monday (normal) morning, we discussed how people reacted to Mr. Irwin's passing. Despite the grim news, many lambasted him on forums, "Well, what did he expect was going to happen?" It disturbs me that in a man's passing, strangers would still criticize and judge a man's actions with such disrespect. (Thankfully, the site admin has a zero tolerance rule and banned quite a few members for their distasteful comments.)

In light of people's passing, I keep thinking about what D. Challener Roe, the creator of Project 2,996 wrote ~ let us honor people by remembering their lives, not by remembering their murderers [or criticizing their life or way of passing].

Mr. Steve Irwin was truly an animal lover and one of the world's most passionate environmentalists. He graced television for over a decade, not for the fame but for his passion for wildlife.

I hope that one day, I will have the honor of visiting his zoo.

Mantra

Although I am quite a sappy person, I'm not into (open-mic) poetry or saving e-mail forwards. However, in my quarter-end-clean-up-process, I found this:

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be
shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind.
Think big anyway.
What you spend years building may
be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack if you help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have
and you might get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
- unknown

The first time I re-read it as an e-mail, I thought this was very motivational; hence, the post. Second time I re-read it after I copied and pasted it in this entry, I thought it was a bit pessimistic.

I can't help but think that we are surrounded by a lot of cynical and pessimistic people (I know ~ by that statement alone, that deems me as one of the cynical and pessimistic people that I am referring to). Sometimes I joke that it's an L.A. thing but that's because I've hardly been elsewhere. My pessimism about people becomes more apparent when a stranger commits a random act of kindness; I am completely dumbfounded by the act because pessimistic me thinks that it is rare that a person will do something good just to do good. I do my best (that's within my comfort and safety zone) to do good and I know that my loved ones do the same, but it gets disheartening when the recipient doesn't acknowledge the act for what it is. I guess this is where the mantra comes into play.

From a dissonant point of view, my pessimism helps me appreciate genuinely good people who persist in altruism in the face of rejection, disappointment, and cynicism. Today marks the 11th anniversary of BF's Lola's death. (For the first time since her passing, her death anniversary coincided with Labor Day.) Although I never knew her in person, I have come to know her through re-told memories and old pictures. I can only imagine what a wonderful woman she was, teaching people to love when others didn't accept her simply because of a difference in race and culture. Even when she was afflicted with physical and mental ailments, she was still the lovable, caring, selfless woman that BF knew all his life. He loves to reminsce about how in her last days at a care facility, all of the caretakers loved to visit and spoil her because they, too, had grown to love her.

Today was the second time that I visited Lola's grave with BF. I have never had a close one pass away so I really do not know what it is like (nor do I wish to know any time soon). When we drove through the cemetary, peace and somberness overwhelmed me. Maybe it's because I know how much Lola means to BF; he wouldn't be the good man he is today if it weren't for Lola's role-modeling and influence. It was an honor for me to go with him.

Because BF loves his Lola so much, he constantly keeps me in check about my relationship with my Ama. And I'm glad he does. I wouldn't be the person I am today, if it weren't for my gramma's influence and role-modeling. I didn't express it much in her 80th b-day post, but I have countless sentiments about my Ama. Although times, cultural expectations, and standards are different, I can't help but think that when she was my age, she had 3 children already (and will have one more in 2 years). My naive (American) stereotypical vision of a gramma is one of an older woman being carefree and baking cookies for her visiting grandchildren. Instead, Ama still babies every one of us, from her great-grand-daughter to her oldest child. Although she doesn't bake cookies for us, she is constantly thinking of each one of us. When she shops, she buys our favorite things. When we visit, she toils in the kitchen to serve only the best meals (last time it was just me and her, she whipped up a 7 course meal!). She continues to teach us compassion, generosity, love, and passion for life despite the hardships we have faced or may face.

Thank God for blessing us with Grandmas. They are truly an inspiration.

Dang, this was one serious, sentimental post.

Faux commentary on Mortified Material

This is great stuff.

My Younger Genius Cousin e-mailed me,

"I was looking through your yearbooks a few days ago (yeah, i was bored) and i saw guys who you drew circles around. tsktsk."

Okay, for the record, it was not I who drew the circles, it was my GFs. For reals. There should be a yearbook signing rule against "vandalizing" yearbooks with material that will be embarrassing in a decade or more. Then again, that'd include all of my class pictures.

Congratulations to Newlywed J & R!

For a few weeks, BF & I have been preparing for our friends' wedding. Thankfully, we had ordered their wine glasses through their registry, and I already picked up a bottle of Dom Perignon (on the second attempt). The comical part is that we still ended up with the last minute rush. We talked all week about what time to leave because it was quite a distance and any freeway out of West L.A. was going to be suicide (or suicide-inducing). When it was down to the last hour before we had to leave (3 hours before the ceremony), I was fretting over having not written the card that I bought a month ago and not having enough time to get ready because of BF's tie fiasco, and BF was agonizing over having no tie to wear.

If this is any indication of how our wedding is going to be then I better start planning today.

We got into BF's car 10 minutes later than planned, and thanks to his mental Mapquest, he saved us about an hour's worth of traffic -- no joke. We listened to traffic reports for 1.5 hours (boring) and literally every freeway was troubled. Despite us being 15 minutes late, we got seated "just in time." The groom's party had just proceeded to the gazebo and the bridal party was just about to step out.

The ceremony was perfect and sweet. The entourage stood in an exquisitely adorned gazebo against a beautiful backdrop mountain-view of L.A. I was amazed at how flawlessly and efficiently the ceremony unfolded.

One of their primary sponsors read, "Love is a Friendship Caught Fire" by Freedman:

Love is friendship caught fire; it is quiet, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection, and makes allowances for human weaknesses. Love is content with the present, hopes for the future, and does not brood over the past. It is the day-in and day-out chronicles of irritations, problems, compromises, small disappointments, big victories, and working toward common goals. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you do not have it, no matter what else there is, it is not enough.

The other primary sponsor read, "I Love You" by Roy Croft.

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.

I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.

I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can't help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.

I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good,
And more than any fate
To make me happy.

You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.

Instead of lighting candles, Bride and Groom performed the sand ceremony to symbolize their uniting. They each held a different color that symbolized something (e.g., the officiant poured brown symbolizing the Earth/ground; may their marriage always stay grounded). At the completion of the ritual, their vase of sand looked amazing and it was later left by the guestbook signing table.

Between the ceremony and the reception, BF and I looked around for his money clip. :( I don't get it. He seems to always lose money! He wasn't so bent over the cash; he was more bent over the fact that that money clip was recently given to him on his birthday from the newlyweds. I felt so bad for him (he thinks he dropped it during the valet exchange). We still enjoyed the rest of the evening. I finally met all of BF's crew and like he vouched, they are a bunch of funny mofos.

We were soon seated in the banquet hall. Again, I was amazed at the organization. Not only did they have us seated at certain tables, they even had placards on the keepsake indicating where we sat at the designated table. The reception went just as flawlessly and efficiently as the ceremony. (I only wish I had ordered the prime rib.) At least I got the layer of cake I wanted (marble with cappuccino creme).

We left around the time that people started bailing. Since Ate left earlier with Flowerboy (a.k.a. Flower girl's escort), Kuya R came with us. We dropped him off at home and hung out a little bit and then went on our merry way home.

Until we came across the drunk racers. Although I have never had to do this, BF is a veteran at exiting off the freeway 5 miles away from home because of drunk fools racing on the freeway. Well, we were farther than 5 miles away when some drunk racing mofo almost crashed into us. Not even a minute later, 4 more cars recklessly sped by us, cutting people off left and right. I swear about 5 cars, including us, made a bee-line for the next exit. We'd rather deal with checkpoints and cops on the streets than die because of some stupid drunk racers (why did we not see a single cop on the 50-mile freeway drive, but we saw 5 cops on Venice?). I don't think I've ever had a car-fright like that before.

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Closing thoughts~
It was actually quite a small, intimate wedding of 150 guests so we felt very honored to be there. We have known J & R since they first started dating about 3 years ago. As cliche as it sounds, it is only right that they be wedded; they truly are meant for each other. Congratulations, J & R!