Mantra

Although I am quite a sappy person, I'm not into (open-mic) poetry or saving e-mail forwards. However, in my quarter-end-clean-up-process, I found this:

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be
shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind.
Think big anyway.
What you spend years building may
be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack if you help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have
and you might get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
- unknown

The first time I re-read it as an e-mail, I thought this was very motivational; hence, the post. Second time I re-read it after I copied and pasted it in this entry, I thought it was a bit pessimistic.

I can't help but think that we are surrounded by a lot of cynical and pessimistic people (I know ~ by that statement alone, that deems me as one of the cynical and pessimistic people that I am referring to). Sometimes I joke that it's an L.A. thing but that's because I've hardly been elsewhere. My pessimism about people becomes more apparent when a stranger commits a random act of kindness; I am completely dumbfounded by the act because pessimistic me thinks that it is rare that a person will do something good just to do good. I do my best (that's within my comfort and safety zone) to do good and I know that my loved ones do the same, but it gets disheartening when the recipient doesn't acknowledge the act for what it is. I guess this is where the mantra comes into play.

From a dissonant point of view, my pessimism helps me appreciate genuinely good people who persist in altruism in the face of rejection, disappointment, and cynicism. Today marks the 11th anniversary of BF's Lola's death. (For the first time since her passing, her death anniversary coincided with Labor Day.) Although I never knew her in person, I have come to know her through re-told memories and old pictures. I can only imagine what a wonderful woman she was, teaching people to love when others didn't accept her simply because of a difference in race and culture. Even when she was afflicted with physical and mental ailments, she was still the lovable, caring, selfless woman that BF knew all his life. He loves to reminsce about how in her last days at a care facility, all of the caretakers loved to visit and spoil her because they, too, had grown to love her.

Today was the second time that I visited Lola's grave with BF. I have never had a close one pass away so I really do not know what it is like (nor do I wish to know any time soon). When we drove through the cemetary, peace and somberness overwhelmed me. Maybe it's because I know how much Lola means to BF; he wouldn't be the good man he is today if it weren't for Lola's role-modeling and influence. It was an honor for me to go with him.

Because BF loves his Lola so much, he constantly keeps me in check about my relationship with my Ama. And I'm glad he does. I wouldn't be the person I am today, if it weren't for my gramma's influence and role-modeling. I didn't express it much in her 80th b-day post, but I have countless sentiments about my Ama. Although times, cultural expectations, and standards are different, I can't help but think that when she was my age, she had 3 children already (and will have one more in 2 years). My naive (American) stereotypical vision of a gramma is one of an older woman being carefree and baking cookies for her visiting grandchildren. Instead, Ama still babies every one of us, from her great-grand-daughter to her oldest child. Although she doesn't bake cookies for us, she is constantly thinking of each one of us. When she shops, she buys our favorite things. When we visit, she toils in the kitchen to serve only the best meals (last time it was just me and her, she whipped up a 7 course meal!). She continues to teach us compassion, generosity, love, and passion for life despite the hardships we have faced or may face.

Thank God for blessing us with Grandmas. They are truly an inspiration.

Dang, this was one serious, sentimental post.