C&K's GMT for old times' sake ;)

So I thought that as a college-teen, my writing would be a little deeper. I thought wrong...they're just crazier and weirder.

WARNING: This is uncensored. Apologies for any anticipated offense.

November 17, 1998~

Boy have I got a mouthful. Tonight, BGF, FA, & I went to the Lil Sis Rush. That was fun. Last night BGF & I went to Cold Stone Creamery for her pledge class fundraising and that was dopeness! I had a French Vanilla Cream w/ Irish Creme and Crunch bar in a waffle cone. It was just so fun! Like the ice-cream and the 40 degree weather? Y'know. Then last night, DMF called me in the midst of his breakdown. He's such a mess. I promised him I wouldn't think less of him but still. He was s'posed to come by. Instead, no mention. He admits/confesses he drank and DID fricken coke. Th 11/5 we had the whole 3 AM drama (you are the biggest flake! Half-ass!). 11/6, DMF wanted me to meet him at a party. Instead, I went to dinner with K. Watched Bad Boys with BGF, then when we were almost done, DMF drama again! He's yelling at me cuz he got RSO'd and then he goes, "Fuck you!...Why are you yelling at me?!" I was like, "No! FUCK YOU! R U smoking crack?! I have not said a complete sentence to you til now!" 11/7, he came over and I opened a big can of whoop ass. I lay everything on him, esp. the Fuck You. Then BGF, E, and I went to see "The Siege." My thoughts of DMF? Don't even want to start. 11/4: 1 AM psycho bus ride.

The good old angsty days (without full details. I must've been lazy that day, hence the short re-cap of dramatic events). This is what Mortified is all about! It's funny that what was so serious back then is just hysterical now... BTW, apologies for the uncensored portions.

Okay, a little Hx. In college, I had a ridiculous and utterly stupid attribute of keeping silent in the midst of anything really emotional, like fights with the BF. It'd drive DMF insane. That was my immature way of getting a rise out of him, since I would have so many sleepless nights agonizing over him. He must've really gotten to me; not only did I break my silence the moment he swore that I was yelling at him when I literally had NOT said a word, but I even cussed back at him! Was I really that nonchalent, though? Like after I "opened a big can of whoop ass," I went to go see a (bad) flick?

Sidenote: "E" was one of the creepiest guys I have never known. Why did I even bother to write that we went to see a bad movie with him? Remember my aforementioned stupid attribute? I broke that silence wall SOOOO many times around him. He really got under my skin. For dropping the ball on this entry, my redemption is presenting to you another journal entry:

February 27, 1999~

Today, I drove home starting at 7 AM and also bought Winchell's donuts. Man, glutton guilt. Ate so much (junk) yesterday and today. Yesterday was most interesting. I woke up and went downstairs to exercise (record, baby! Sat. 2/20 --> Fri 2/26 straight up!). We went to UTC & I got a burgundy skirt from Guess Collections. Went to school for Iain's OH. George brought me home (I got weirded out cuz I didn't want him to feel like I expolicitly wanted him to bring me home). We ended up going to dinner at Islands with J, E, K, & weird drama. Waiting at CPK, E had the biggest tripout over AK. I straight up busted out w/ a "Why do you/are you tripping out so much?!" cuz it's so gay to the infinite power! Then he tried to really get close. This is the second huge time he's gone way into my personal space. He ran his hands down my arms, taking my hands and was totally gonna pull me in for a hug. I actually stopped him by putting my hands in front of me for defense and even uttered a, "Don't!" Right then, I just wanted an escape, a distance. He just gets way too close. Later, over to Islands, he stuck out his arm for me to take. When I didn't, he pulled my arm. I pulled away! At dinner, he sat next to me of couse and kept on wanting to share a pie? Get a clue! ...

E was just such a weird, creepy guy. My first year roomie, AK, met him at her first party the first week of first year...and he would NOT let that go, over a year later. Talk about baggage! They went on ONE date. He'd like flirt with me to get back at her. It made me so sick. I used to literally run the other direction when I saw him coming. Now that I think about it, he may have had a voice disorder. Like talking in falsetto. Pu-hahaha!

What else is scary is that I still talk like this: "busted out" & "___ to the infinite power."

As for the 11/4 1 AM psycho bus ride, I didn't write anything about it b/c I was probably so traumatized by it that I thought I'd remember it forever. Or maybe I was trying to somewhat repress it ASAP. Eithery way, I don't remember that bus ride in detail. I was at school studying until Geisel Library closed (at midnight). Then I waited for the last bus to pick me up around 12:30 AM. It was by far the spookiest bus ride ever.

First of all, the new bus driver totally went the wrong route (didn't make a left turn onto Nobel) so she had to bust the gnarliest U-turn in the Ralphs shopping center parking lot. That would've been fine with me except that there was a crazy man. He looked really crazy, too. Older man with crazy hair and beard. I think he kept trying to talk to me but I kept ignoring him.

OMG, I think I kind of do remember. (So much for 8 years of repression just for me to dig it up.) He sat down next to me which completely freaked me out. (There was probably no more than 5 other stragglers on the bus.) When it was my stop and I tried to leave, he grabbed my arm, and I totally went (silently) hysterical. I jumped up and he followed me to the door and kept asking me what my name was or some personal information. He finally let go.

I imagine I frickin ran home like no tmrw. I also imagine my BGF must've freaked out and lectured me about never taking the bus that late and calling her for a ride instead. I'm sure I kept riding the bus...just during normal hours.

Unfortunately, I was well-known -- and still am, but to a far lesser extent -- of being victim to the creepiest, scariest situations. Seriously, I really think that's why I am soOOoOOOOOoOOOOOoo paranoid and very cautious these days.

"Dopeness" ~ Was I describing the ice-cream or the event?? Probably the ice-cream. Although I remember having lots of fun, it must have been damn good ice-cream for me to describe exactly what flavors I mixed and to enjoy it so much in 40 degree weather.