Autism...Blind Faith Calling

I rarely post about my 320s or autism in general these days, but I happened to read a forum post asking for help with a student with autism who displays aggressive behavior. This one regular poster said something I thought was so true, deep, and inspiring. After giving great recommendations, she said:

"Being a therapist is a calling. We don't often get to pick and choose our caseload. It is normal and it is okay to have a few students that cause you stress, a few that you would trade in a second, and even a few that you don't like. But, in the end, we are there because they need us. Try to put your job into a different perspective. Look at all that you do accomplish, and all of those parents and patients/students that are better because of your effort. Call upon your sense of professionalism and just do what you can for a difficult student. Know that all across the world, therapists, teachers, nurses, and counselors are also only doing what they can. We are humans, too. We have a life outside of our jobs. Focus on the time you give to that student that is difficult, then put it away until the next session. It is your responsibility to find a place in your career for difficult days, difficult students, etc. as well as for good days, sweet students, fast-learning students, etc."

I am rarely compelled to post on this forum but once in a blue moon, I do. Actually, one of the first few posts is how I got connected with BSILF!

Today, I felt compelled to post in response to the cry out for help and share what I've learned through my most trying year. I wrote:

I certainly agree with what everyone has shared and just wanted to add on.

I, too, strongly urge anyone working with individuals with aggressive behaviors to attend the Nonviolent Crisis Intervention (NCI or CPI) training programs. As the previous poster said, restraint is used only as a last resort, but by being professionally trained to restrain protects us from any litigation, so long as we adhere to the NCI procedures. Without being certified in NCI (2-day training), one is not to restrain anybody (unless they aren't afraid of getting hurt and being sued). In addition, the training (lightly) prepares you on how to prevent aggression or de-escalate the situation once it has occurred with behavioral techniques.

You mentioned that the student's aggressive acts had decreased from 15-20 to 3, but are now increasing again. Does anyone know what changed? E.g., environment, routines, adults, home situations, medication. Does your district have a Board-Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) that you can collaborate with? They are trained to conduct a functional behavioral assessment (FBA) to determine the function of a behavior. Results and behavioral recommendations are then worked into the Behavior Support Plan. (This is moreso an effective but long-term procedure that involves interviews, collecting data, experimenting, etc.)

When I first worked with my most aggressive student (head butt, scratch, hit hard, and pulled my hair once), I had to experiment a lot and consistently do certain things with blind faith. I know every child is different, but what worked for me was a multitude of strategies:

1. visual supports -- can't stress this enough. Also using the Pre-Mack Principle with visuals: "First...Then..." [First, (picture representing speech time -- same picture used on their visual schedule), then (picture of taking a walk -- a reward he chose)].
2. give him choices of order of speech activities and rewards.
3. environmental arrangements: e.g., I sat across from him with enough room behind me to spare if he leaned over the table to try to hit me. If necessary, the paraeducator sat behind him so that he couldn't get out of his chair to come around to attack me. e.g., Working in a secluded area (e.g., use wall/room dividers so there are less visual distractions and somewhat less auditory stimuli).
4. using a prompting hierarchy and giving the student enough time to respond before prompting again (generally 5 seconds before repeating stimuli + additional prompt...if we don't give them enough time to respond, some of them get auditorally bombarded which can lead to frustration and aggression).
5. working with OT to incorporate sensory strategies or breaks. E.g., give student a 3-5 minute sensory break before speech or incorporate mini-sensory breaks in speech sessions.
6. Working with the child during his snack time. While working on language (requesting, labeling) with the use of his own snacks as reinforcers, the student establishes that you are the Provider of Goodies...and theoretically/ideally will not want to sabotage that relationship. This really worked well for two of my most aggressive kids. Once I was fit into their routine (twice a week) by providing their snacks, they somewhat generalized their "good" behavior to the speech setting. (Clarification: the parents pack the students their snacks and lunches; I just hold onto their snacks and have them request for it with "good" behavior, such as "quiet sitting," and appropriate language.)

Because your student is young, you might even just begin with "quiet sitting" -- getting him to sit for 5 seconds (if that, or longer if he can) with quiet hands, quiet feet, and quiet mouth and incrementally increasing the time. After all, we need our kiddos to be able to attend before we can really work on other things.

I work with middle school students with severe autism and I can't stress enough how important it is for us to get the behaviors down while they are young (even though we are not behavioral therapists...but we implement a lot of behavioral techniques, whether we know it or not). Once they're in middle school and high school, they are so big and strong (even the small, skinny ones) and what with hormones, the aggression can really get outta hand and will take even more energy, time, and people to work with one kid.

On a less serious note, the main student that I based this post on...has totally become my favorite! I've been working with him for a year and for the first new months (fresh out of grad program, thinking, "I didn't learn how to work with these kids nor did I sign up for this!"), I dreaded seeing him 3 x 30 min/week because of the behaviors and unsupportive, untrained staff. After many consultations with other professionals, lots of trainings on visual supports, numerous trial-and-error, and consistency with blind faith, he rarely displayed any behaviors around me after a few months. Actually, it's a 180 from him hating speech (and/or me) to now literally making a bee-line towards me whenever I enter the room (and tries to smell or kiss me...which is something else I am working on avoiding now!).

After feeling like I did something good by sharing what I've learned with J320, I looked at my profile:

Group: members
Posts: 13
Joined: 12-July 07
Member No.: 737

13 posts in 1.5 years? That's it?!? I bet 2 of those 13 were in response to BSILF's same post. Dang, I'm lame.

Happy New Year!

Non-Post: Shea Butter and Chapstick

Since I've grown wiser and less greedy over the years, I've gotten much better at not taking every freebie offered to me. A few weeks ago when I was at the ASHA Convention, I selectively picked up a few cool freebies, like some cold putty for kiddos with sensory needs and a "Toobaloo" for voice and fluency kiddos. My one and only "junkie" freebie was this lip moisturizer:Suffice it to say, I am so loyal to Chapstick -- can't leave home without that and iPhone -- and generally do not take free lip moisturizers b/c they usually suck. Well, two things happened after I got back.

1. H2B told me about a new shimmery/glossy lip moisturizer by Blistex so I picked up the Silk & Shine. Total disappointment at full-cost! It smells nice and it has a sweet taste, but it doesn't give any glossy finish and the moisture is gone after a few minutes. Shortly after, I saw a commercial for Chapstick True Shimmer. That's when I realized that I should have stayed loyal to my Chapstick brand all along!
2. I've been on a huge shea butter/L'Occitane craze so I was so surprised so see that in the generic lip moisturizer from Phoneix Children's Hospital, one of the ingredients is shea butter! I was shocked and disappointed to see that Chapstick doesn't even have shea butter!

I may need to redefine my lip moisturizer brand loyalty. The True Shimmer Chapstick may be its only redemption.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm addicted to Chapstick.

I'm a Westside Cliche

I think working in the nice, posh beach cities has finally gotten to me. Today, I have become the ultimate Westside/South Bay cliche. I went to a "medical spa" and got one treatment of laser hair removal!

I bought a spa package that consists of 4 visits: a facial, laser genesis or photofacial, hydrafacial, and laser hair removal...but you know I chose this location/package for the laser hair removal and photofacial. The only lame thing is that it's not like I achieved permanent hair removal with one treatment. I'd have to go back for 6-9, and supposedly, fine hairs are harder to permanently remove. Lame.

It was a funky experience. This gorgeous aesthetician came in, explained what she was going to do, "zapped" me with the laser a few times, and then said I was done. It took like 5 minutes if that. The last few zaps stimulated some tear nerves/glands...it didn't hurt enough to make me cry but with the last few zaps, my eyes teared up. Hope she didn't think I was really crying.

I'm looking forward to my facial next week. I scheduled a Bare Escentuals makeover right after, just for fun. I've never had a makeover, but I couldn't resist when I saw that they had a whole line of B.E. products! I'm such a B.E. junkie...I wonder if that's real cliche, too.

Boring

I just realized that for the past few months, my excuse for not blogging has been because I've been so busy with work. Now that I'm on Winter Break, I haven't blogged at all (although I do have some work to do). In IMing my cousin, I realized that I haven't blogged b/c of work...rather, my life is so boring and predictable that I have nothing to blog about. Boo!

Merry Christmas!

Christmas this year was a teeny bit different for me. For the past two years (as if it's already a tradition for me), I've spent Christmas with my family and then flown to Vegas to spend with H2B and his family. Since H2B had a lot of work to do, he went to Vegas for a quick trip (12/23 - 12/25) and left me behind. Boo!

On the other hand, yay! As a tradition, my family gathered together for dinner on Christmas Eve. This year, we met at Gramma's house. I brought her home on the 23rd after I dropped H2B off at LAX and then later that night, Attorney Cousin and Pastor Aunty arrived from SF around 8 PM, shortly after I got back from the gym.**

**Working in a wealthy neighborhood means TONS of yummy sweets available during the whole month of December...which also means an extra 2 -3 pounds of weight gained!

The next morning, I woke up early and went for a morning walk/jog around the block before everyone got up. Around noon, Attorney Cousin and I headed out in her awesome "new" (bought used) Infiniti G35 Sedan to buy last minute gifts and groceries. For whatever reason, our adventures around Rancho Cucamonga (within a 5-mile radius) was really fun. We went to Target (to pick-up my bro's GC from Pastor Aunty), Barnes & Nobles (for first cousin once-removed's gift from Atty. Cousin), Starbucks (where I tried the peppermint white mocha and highly do not recommend it), Ralphs, and McDonald's (gift card for a distant cousin). When we got home, Bro had arrived and we ate a quick lunch. Afterwards, we found another reason to head back out in Cousin's awesome G35, which she had purchased on 12/22. This time, we three went to Home Depot to get Pastor Aunty's gift (a fancy lamp). Daddy and Wendy arrived shortly after we got back, then Pre-M.D. Cousin, then her family, then Pastor Aunty's clan, including a few surprise special guests: Cousin-in-Law's sister and doggies!

This was our first time meeting crazy Louis/Louie:

Cousin and wifey rescued Luey from the pound for First-Cousin-Once-Removed's birthday.

We also had 2 more surprise guests - Gramma's cousin(?) and her daughter, both from Japan or Taiwan. (Clearly, I did not know of these distant relatives; it was my first time hearing about them and meeting them.)

Dinner began around 5:30 PM, and as always, us "kids" sat at the Kids' Table (in the breakfast room) and the adults ate in the Dining Room. We didn't have any traditional Christmas foods -- instead, we had a hodgepodge of Asian foods, mostly prepared by Daddy and Wendy, and plenty of alcohol (thanks to the Chen Cousins!).

Later on, we gathered in the Family Room to hang out...and watch Pastor Aunty dance. Dude, it was awesome. Cousin-in-Law and I were washing dishes and playing commentator while Bro DJ'd and Top 2 Cousins got down with their mom. Hopefully, the video will one day be on YouTube and circulated with top ratings.

Later on, we gathered in the Living Room to open gifts and take more pictures.



Our last relatives (the Genius Family) arrived shortly after and joined in the festivities. We all hung out some more, drank, and was merry. :) It was wonderful to have all of the relatives together for Christmas.

Miscommunication

There's a Carl's Junior commercial currently airing that reminds me of the miscommunication that frequently takes place between H2B and me:




There's something nice about waking up early on a vacation day when I don't have to. H2B said last night that if we wake up early enough, we can go out for breakfast. We woke up around 7 AM and I'm thinking that we might go to IHOP (love the pancakes!). I was so surprised when I walked out into the living room and smelled the sweet aroma of coffee. Did H2B really make coffee?? How thoughtful! Is he going to make breakfast for me, too?

Not quite. His idea of "going out for breakfast" is him giving me his credit card and I going to get fast food.

Well, I do love hash browns and French toast.

Winter Break!!!

I am officially on Winter Break! Yahoo!!

It has been a rough week...and past few months. It didn't really hit me until this morning that I would soon begin Winter Break. My morning began with a quick visit to my beloved class in Lawndale. I got to the site early, ghetto-decorated the dining area, set a box of a dozen donuts and frosted holiday cookies on the table, and spread some Hershey's kisses around. I also brewed a pot of Starbucks Holiday Blend (yummers!) and dropped off my Secret Santa gift to an aide in his mailbox. I was on my way out to my MB site when the SDC-LS teacher popped in and re-invited me to her holiday party tomorrow afternoon. After her, I ran into the County SDC-teacher...who surprised me when he revealed that he was my Secret Santa! Lastly, I got to see J320 so my morning started off very nicely. I left a little before 8 to work in MB for the day.

The day was busy, fun, and crazy. I was very surprised at receiving a few gifts from some of my students. It is such a thoughtful gesture. I remember last year, my cousins were floored when I said I didn't receive any gifts (when I was full-time in Lawndale). I didn't really think much of it...which is why I'm so surprised this year to receive some. Unfortunately, it's really another blatant difference between cities with such drastic socioeconomic status differences. Truth be told, I still feel like a fish out of water in MB.

In reflecting on the past few intense months of work, I have learned sooOoOOoo much, risen up to the challenges to the best of my abilities, and exceeded my own expectations of my capabilities. That's not to say I don't still ask stupid questions or do dumb things...

Work Update

Site #2 has gotten better but it still blows. I am still experiencing moments of outrage, but I've gotten better at complaining less and becoming more resilient to all the negative energy and karma that comes my way. Every week, I feel like I've completed yet another stage of emotional development and achieved some type of zen. Yesterday, I was determined to not let anything bring me down, even when Work Roomie got mad or annoyed at me twice over stupid things.

Today, I attended an IEP at Site #2 and left soon after for my 320 luvies. Yesterday, the County teacher decided that he'd bring our kiddos with autism to Target for a special holiday shopping trip. I met them there and had the best time ever -- probably the best work day since October 24th, when I began at Site #2. The kiddos shopped around for ornaments and decorations with the help of their paraeducators. After hanging out with half of them, I went to look for the other half. One, T320, was sitting in a cart so I asked his paraeducator if I could take him around to help me shop for toiletries. ;)

I had such a wonderful time with this little one. I pushed him around Target, laughing inside about how people must think this little Hispanic kid is like my adopted son or something. We went up and down a few aisles, picking out items he liked and items that I needed. I did my usual nerdy language-eliciting stuff while we picked out candles ("oooo, do you want to smell? What does it smell like?"), shopped for Christmas decorations, and looked at toys. Towards the end, the high school kiddos with severe autism that I served over the summer met up with us, too! I was so excited to see them! I don't know if they really remembered me, but they didn't appear to not recognize me. My favorite one that I think about every so often said "w'sup" to me and gave me pounds. He even flashed me the deuces when he had to say good-bye. Too awesome.

Afterward, we went to the the Galleria where I had another mini-reunion with the other high school severe autism class. I hung out some more with my kiddos before I had to leave for a workshop. I snuck in quick retail therapy and bought a few extra special somethings from Victoria's Secret. Not only that, but the two cute pairs of Aldo shoes that I recently ordered arrived today, too! (Thanks to Daddy for a belated birthday gift and early Christmas gift!)

(Even though I have a huge complaint about Site #2 just from today, I think I've done a mighty fine job just highlighting the best of today. On the real, it's hard for someone who's usually not such a Debbie Downer.)

Chi-Town

Sadly, I don't have the time to give updates like I used to. This new assignment has gotten better by the grace of God. I've powered through Kubler-Ross' Cycle of Grief and entered acceptance, but it doesn't mean that I love this site.

I got to get away to Chicago last Wednesday until Saturday (11/19 - 22) for our national SLP convention. The only bumming part was that I didn't have a travel companion. H2B was supposed to come with me, but he ended up not being able to b/c he's been so busy with work. Bro also didn't make it as he's been busy, too. It was my first time traveling alone and I felt so paranoid, adventurous, and independent. Actually, I had a nice transition. Bro dropped me off at the airport last Wednesday and helped me check-in, and I must have triple-checked the steps leading up to the gate (as if I've never traveled before?!? I'm such a dork.).

I was actually with my co-worker/classmate, VS, for the flight and first night. If the flight weren't so turbulent, she would have driven me to drink with the 4-5 hour flight, but we made it through okay. When we landed, we checked in at the Palmer Hilton in Downtown. I planned on spending just that night with her since I had my own room the next few nights (I didn't tell her that H2B ended up not being able to come). Since we got in late, we had dinner at Potter's Lounge in the downstairs lobby.

On Thursday, we woke up early to go to the convention. Conventions are crazy b/c there's a gang of potentially good presentations going on at the same time. The thing that sucked about this one is that they were spread out in two different buildings, so whenever I "shopped" around, it would take me at least 10 minutes of speed-walking to get to the other one if the first one sucked. I chose a bunch of autism ones which were hit and miss. My favorite ones are always the Asperger's Syndrome presentations b/c the presenters and their presentations are very informative, interesting, and entertaining. They're such a wealth of knowledge b/c frankly, I don't think SLPs know enough about how to work with high-functioning autism and Asperger's. It could be so much fun rather than fear of the unknown.

After the convention, we headed back to the hotel and decided on where to eat. I mentioned checking in after dinner but since we wanted to get suggestions for dinner, I approached the front desk before we headed. Thankfully, we did b/c my hotel reservation was completely canceled! I was flipping out inside b/c 1) I could NOT begin to imagine spending all of my nights with VS and 2) I did not tell her that H2B flaked on me! I fervently uttered desperate prayers as I stood waiting to see if there were any rooms. Fortunately, the lady found a room for me.


After that scare, I was ready for a long-anticipated drink. VS and I had dinner at Exchequer, a block away from our hotel. It was a local joint that served "4-star" pizza. Unfortunately, I didn't get to try deep dish pizza b/c VS is a very picky eater (e.g., she looked over at the next table eating deep dish and said, "Just look at that...that looks disgusting!"). She was bad company from the get-go, and I was so ready to be done with dinner and check into my own room before we were even seated (it didn't help that we had to wait half an hour). I had a beer to help me enjoy the evening, but the bad company was a total buzz kill. To add insult to injury, she really needed to go to CVS after dinner, and I couldn't ditch her since my luggage was still in her room.

We got to my room and she finally left me so that I could supposedly wait for H2B to arrive, I took a long, relaxing shower. It was already pretty late so I went to bad after connecting with H2B.

On Friday morning, I took my sweet time getting ready. Instead of waiting in the long Starbucks line in the lobby, I crossed the street and went to the corner one and got my delicious caffeine fix. I hopped on the shuttle to McCormick West and went to a few good and bad presentations. VS met up with me for some...too bad she was still her miserable self; she sat next to me and made loud sarcastic or arrogant comments DURING the presentations. I hate that. A few times in the past, she's pushed me to the edge where I've actually turned to her and said, "shh..." b/c I was so mortified with her behavior and comments!

By the end of the day at the convention, I was really looking forward to spending Friday evening alone. We went back to the hotel and parted ways. I took a long shower to relax and then I put on as many layers as possible and went out into the darkness and cold. It was fun exploring and looking for a place to eat. I ended up eating at Ronny's Steak House (not a real steak house; more like a steak diner) b/c I wanted to hit a local joint.

(My "view" during dinner.)

Afterward, I ventured along State Street and went into Macy's to see their spectacular Christmas tree on the 7th floor and took a few pictures of their renowned holiday window decorations.
I got back to my room around 9:30 took a long shower. I got freaked out when I heard endless knocking on my room door. I kept ignoring it, but after an extra 5 minutes in the shower, I was done. Right when I stepped out, the phone rang. Turns out it was room service! I got an oh-so delicious surprise from FBIL!

(My bro and FBIL are like the best non-traveling companions! They are always sending room service or food deliveries from the comfort of their homes.) Rewind: before I left, FBIL also went to AAA to pick up maps and a tour book so that I could look up places to explore. He is the best FBIL ever!!

On Saturday, I ditched the convention and explored on my own some more. I got my favorite Starbucks drink (but sadly, they didn't get it right like usual...I hate foam!) and headed South on South Michigan, where there were more open sites to see. I passed by the Art Institute of Chicago, stopped by Millenium Park, Soldier Field, and 11th Street Bridge.

Around 10 AM, I had a feeling that I was lost, despite what my mapquest was telling me so I spoke to bro who confirmed that I was going the wrong way if I was looking for Magnificent Mile. I returned to the hotel, checked out, and then headed North towards North Michigan Street. It really ended up closer than a mile...or maybe b/c there were so many spectacular things to see, it didn't feel a mile away.
I headed back to the hotel around 12:30 and stopped by Exchequer again to order 2 ("disgusting") deep dish pizzas to bring home, per bro's suggestion/request. :) I ordered a medium deluxe and a small barbeque chicken. Right when I picked them up, I picked up my luggage and headed to the airport and came home to L.A.

It was so nice to get away for a few days and not think about work...and to kick off the holiday season!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Best quote I heard from the convention...

"You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don't make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing, and then do them so well that people can't take their eyes off you." ~ Maya Angelou

Something Extra Special

Now that I have an established route driving to dreaded site #2, I've had many mornings where I come to an intersection and need to make a right turn to go down half a block to park. Whenever I stop at that intersection, I have an overwhelming urge to just go straight and see if the beach lays just over the hill.

Since I got this new assignment, I've spent every chance I have walking at the beach to relax and get my mind off of things on the weekends. I listen to music and walk from Venice to Santa Monica and back and take in the air and surroundings. It's something that I've really enjoyed doing ever since the college days (San Diego has beautiful beaches!).

Today was an easy day at Site #2 since we participated in the statewide Disaster Drill, so that knocked off two sessions of therapy. I had to cancel two groups since I had a tri at my beloved Site #1. Today, I decided that it would be the day I see what lays just yonder.

As I left Site #2, I made a right turn (instead of a left) and I was blown away. All you see is (the quaint beach community and just) the pure beautiful Pacific Ocean. I knew that if I just kept going, the street would lead me straight to the pier. I parked at a meter and trotted down to the pier, took a few pictures, and listened and watched the waves before I headed to Site #1.

So far, that is the only perk about Site #2. I hope to discover more perks as the year passes. The assignment isn't so overwhelming any more, now that I have things relatively under control, but I just don't enjoy working there for numerous reasons. I am so glad I still have Site #1, my "extra special" kiddos with autism.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Yesterday, when I arrived at Site #1 for P320's triennial, one of the RSPED teachers ran into me and said, "DA and H keep asking me about you! Every time [stupid Barfeen] calls for them, they beg me to tell her that they have to stay in class for an assignment. They keep asking why you can't work with them...They say, 'we see her on campus and know she still works with her extra special kids; why can't she work with us? We'll change our schedules!'" LOL That is too funny (and sweet). Maybe if they changed their eligibility from Specific Language Impairment to Autism, then I can work with them. Silly kids!

Tough Crowd

This week of work went pretty well with all things considered, until I got ambushed yesterday mid-morning. My work roomie came across really strong after my IEP yesterday morning. (Disclaimer: she is intense b/c everyone there is intense. She was just helping me, trying to make sure I have covered all of my bases, but she just came across stronger than usual, and also said that she had given me two documents that I had no recollection of receiving). At that point, I said, "I just need a minute..." and then I couldn't help it, my eyes welled up.

I guess all of my emotions that I had put on hold for two weeks finally caught up, and I was just so overwhelmed at that point. All week, I felt like I was doing really well, getting things accomplished, climbing the steepest learning curve, keeping level-headed, making sure I don't upset any parents nor staff, and powering through all of those overdue IEPs b/c of stupid Barfeen. Just when I think I have a good hold on things, I am told that there is even more stupid paperwork to fill out and how I should have contacted these parents and teachers 2 weeks ago (when I've only been here less than two weeks and not even at full-time status!). For the love of God, people, give me a break!

I ended up staying at work until 6 P.M. yesterday and missing the staff happy hour/mixer, where I intended to do a little County/SLP P.R., since the teachers can really make or break these IEPs that I case manage...but after the intense day, I had absolutely no desire to use any residual energy to mingle. Besides, I had to finish all of the new paperwork for the IEPs I held and near future ones, since I know I won't have time next week with the holiday and two triennial IEPs at my SDC site and one more long overdue IEP.

An exhausting part of this assignment is having to make sure you don't upset anybody off. In my delirium, I had a moment of clarity. This assignment is only for one year. If I don't make a good impression at the IEP, who cares? I won't ever have to meet with them again. (Well, knock on wood b/c more than half of the mothers don't work so several drop in, call or e-mail, and even stay to watch therapy.) Besides, if they don't feel a connection with me, then they can go on with their bad selves and request for a different SLP. I just want to do my job of seeing their children, but I don't even have much time for that because I'm busy dealing with their hemming and hawing for more services but at their requested times, long IEPs where mothers cry because their son can't produce the "r" sound, and rescheduling so their kids aren't pulled out of music, art, math, language arts, P.E., etc. They actually want us to service their kids after their school hours (grades get out at staggered released time, which further complicates scheduling). Hello! That's what private therapists are for! I know you can afford it!

I had heard that this district is tough because people actually relocate from other places because people know that the parents typically get what they want here (i.e., I see one child INDIVIDUALLY for stuttering!). Holy snikeys, I did NOT know it was on a global scale. People from other countries (i.e., Germany, Europe) actually call the District Office to tell them that they are relocating here for the services. This is surreal. Seriously, if my child ever requires special education services, I promise to not be ridiculous and rule by fear and intimidation.

This week I broke a personal record. I held 5 IEPs and attended an intense SDC one not on my caseload all in the 24 total hours (3.4 days) that I was there. Of course that doesn't include all of the overtime hours and staff meetings that run past our regular work hours. I am exhausted, but I need to write two assessment reports for those two triennials due this week. I can't wait until Winter Break, "Ski Week," Spring Break, and finally Summer Break.

The best news I heard all week was something my boss' secretary shared with my fellow SLP, who is going through the same intensity as me (she serves the SDC autism class at this site). Secretary overheard boss tell someone in her no-nonsense tone over the phone, "No, if [yours truly] wants her site back next year, she is getting it back next year." Talk about hot gossip! Who was she talking to??? Why would she say that?? I know I shouldn't care b/c that means Boss Lady really means it when she says I won't have to come back to this site next year!!

I voted...

...for the first time ever in my life. It was a tough choice, but I'm proud that I voted.

Sports Fan

For Halloween, the Special Education Department at my new assignment decided on dressing up as coaches or in our work-out clothes. I don't think I actually hit the mark but whatever. I wore my Adidas warm-ups, H2B's (huge) black Adidas t-shirt (he insisted that I match), and Adidas wristbands.
At the end of the day, the custodian asked, "Are you a big sports fan?" I told him I was by association. H2B loves sports beginning with "B": baseball, basketball, bowling, and boxing.

This sports fan question keeps coming up. During baseball season, H2B actually tried to teach me the plays and would pop-quiz me, "What a 4-3-1 play?" I still can't meet the criterion for mastery. I keep telling him that maybe if I saw a visual diagram, I'd get it faster.

When the 320 teacher asked me if I watch baseball, I told him how H2B is teaching me and I still can't get it straight. He said, "So you're telling me that you can go through the entire BCBA program, but you can't understand baseball??"

Today, H2B watched a few minutes of football and after a few dumb questions from me, H2B explained that the players have 4 opportunities/plays to move at least 10 yards (don't quote me; I don't even know if I got that straight). I lamely asked him, "So, is it always something [1st/2nd/3rd/4th] down and 10?" "No, it depends on how many yards they cover. It could be 1st and 5."

Before I could say anything else, he said, "I don't think you should try to understand. You know you're not good at Math, and this is like Calculus for you." And then he changed the channel.

End of the First Week in MB

It's been quite a week of climbing mountains to get this point where I feel about 90% in control of my assignment vs. starting at 10% last Friday.

I humbly accepted this new assignment looking at it like it would be a great professional experience for me. What I've learned this week is:

• I can be assertive.
  
• I can make telephone calls to parents who are upset (and projecting their anger on me) without having to practice or have a script. By yesterday, I was impulsively grabbing binders, files, and papers and marching straight over to the phone to make a phone call without thinking of exactly what to say -- and I wasn't wishing to get the parents' answering machine. I actually HOPED to talk to them (b/c I needed to set IEP dates like last week, when I wasn't even there yet. Stupid MM.).
  
• Not having a technologically advanced classroom phone sucks. We use an old skool phone which means no Caller ID and no light to indicate whether I received a voicemail. I thought this was pretty ironic considering how everything else was pretty up to technological standards.
• I can make phone calls unscripted and with 3 other adults listening in without getting all ADD and blushing out of nervousness.
  
• (So far) I can do damage control...well, much better than I had anticipated going into this war zone.
  
• At least half of these parents only care about titles and those extra letters after names which has become my next biggest dilemma to tackle. Maybe I'll be like this when I'm a parent, but for now, it blows to be on the receiving end. The parents aren't even giving my VTW associates a fair chance. It also becomes a potential legal mess, too.
• Everyone brings their A-game. It's crazy and intense.

The good news is that I'm moving through my "phases" much faster than I expected. I actually have part of a weekend to enjoy. Woohoo!

P.S. I saw some of my favorite kiddos on Tuesday and Wednesday (my 320 days in my old hood), and they are so mad at me for leaving! Haha! Well, not really mad. They just really don't like their new SLP. Stupid MM. I take some twisted pleasure in knowing that they really liked having me as their SLP more than her since she also bragged that middle school is her forte and she'll "make them talk."

Status: Official Day 3.5 of New Assignment

Things are really smoothing out as I continue to do damage control. How do I know? At 4 P.M. yesterday, I only had 1 work e-mail to respond to (vs. literally 15-20). AND I was so exhausted that I went to bed at 9 P.M. (been waking up at 5 AM and working nonstop, save drive time and dinner, until 11 P.M.) and woke up at 5 AM and had ZERO e-mails!

I'm serious, I didn't know administrators worked as hard as us. My 3 "bosses" were e-mailing me back and forth until 11 PM all this past week. Insanity.

I'm not out of deep water yet but I'm definitely feeling better. Thanks to all who sent prayers and thoughts. xoxo

First Day of Work (Again)

Although I've been prepping for it since last Thursday, today was officially my first day at my new assignment. I am not at an elementary school in a more upscale district, but I am still servicing my SDC Autism class (320) in my previous district. Boss lady has given me 5 hours of overtime a week, but when I got home last night, H2B said, "Man, you burned through the next 3 weeks' worth of OT in 2 days." For reals, dude. The week has been a busy blur. I've never been so functionally scatterbrained. It's kind of a trip.

Yesterday was my unofficial first day at my new assignment. I attended an IEP and then went back and forth between meetings with my administrator and the schools' administrators. Afterward, I went back to my comfort zone (my 320's classroom in my "old" district) to continue prepping. I called 17 parents up to informally introduce myself for the Friday kiddos and explain that there's been some "restructuring" (i.e., the SLP that was here for 6 weeks who managed to make things almost FUBAR has left). Talk about getting over my phone-anxiety. I almost had a meltdown when I was only on #3 of 17 and the mother said, "yes, I would like to call you back at another time because an interesting comment was made." I was like, WTH? Did I say something wrong or did somebody else say something "interesting"? Talk about intense. I should have said, "Okay, call me back because I'd like to talk about an interesting comment that was made, too." Weirdo.

On the other hand, my first day went relatively well in retrospect. The morning was pretty intense, too, but thankfully, the VTW that works with me and my new work roomie are really awesome ladies. I did some damage control which resulted in a hug from a teacher and appreciation from an extremely high-profile parent. Turns out this parent refused to sign the IEP until they heard that a "new" SLP was replacing that 6-weeker one. By the end of the day, the word around the block (from my work roomie who stops be every teacher's classroom everyday) is that we're sending out a really good positive vibe. Thank God.

I do feel really gnarly about having all this responsibility. Boss lady has made me the lead SLP for the Non-SDC speech kids, meaning I have to supervise a SLPA, VTW, and another SLP as we service 50 kiddos. It doesn't sound like a lot, but it is when these kiddos require so many sessions in one week and parents are ridonkulously demanding. For now, I only provide direct therapy service to the extremely high-profile cases...meaning those that are potentially litigious and have difficult parents.

The good news is that as of yesterday at 3 P.M., my co-workers who have seen me have said that I appear to be handling all of this well.

Translation: I'm no longer visibly freaking out.

Longest Week Ever

I knew it was bad when I went to bad last night realizing that I completely dropped the ball! I forgot I had an IEP at 10 AM this morning!!

This week has been a really long one. In short, I'm being transferred next week to another district. I have been stressing so much that it's ridiculous. I know I just need to go through my motions and once I'm in there doing my thing, it'll be okay.

I am also experiencing the worst separation anxiety. I've been fighting tears all week, thinking about how I won't get to work with my kiddos any more. My boss at least let me keep my County Autism kids.

Today, I saw a bunch of my kids to tell them the sad news. I, of course, had to see DA and CV. I couldn't believe how hard I kept fighting back tears. It's just that I've seen them make soOooO much progress, and it took a lot of trust and time to establish rapport. When they came in, we worked a little bit. They clowned around like usual, but I let them be b/c they really made me laugh, which I totally needed.

At one point, DA said to CV, "Have you been to ___.com?"

CV: No, but have you been to ____.com?
Me: You guys better not be talking about any bad websites.
CV: Hey [CV] Have you seen "Girls Gone Wild"?
Me: Hey! None of that in here!
CV: [CV] Have you seen Ms. L___ on You Tube? It's called, "Ms. L-- Gets Mad."

I was busting up! They are quick, man. Later, CV saw me reaching under the table from my cart but I kept my hands under the table so they could see what I was doing. CV said, "Ooh, Ms. L--, you better not be texting."

Which I totally was. Dang. Bad example. Of course I totally denied it, though. I swear I fit in so well with these 14 y/o.

During the last 5 minutes, I broke the news that I was leaving. They were soOOoo funny. Both immediately protested and said I was lying (First Stage of Grief: Denial). I told them I wasn't so then they got angry (Second Stage of Grief: Anger), and said they weren't coming to speech any more. LOL I was like, um, you have no choice!

I broke the news to my other SDC kiddos and they were so cute. They protested, too, and said, "What! But you're so nice! No! We don't want somebody else!"

This transition has been one of the hardest things for me b/c of what I will be going into, but through it all, I've been so appreciative of all the support and encouragement I've received from colleagues and my kiddos. It's especially nice to realize that my kiddos actually like me. I will miss them so much. I promised them I'd come back for their graduation. They are, after all, my kids. ;)

Bittersweet Ending

It's been quite a long week despite it only being the end of Hump Day.

Over the weekend, I attended a 2-day training in Yorba Linda. The training was neat in that professionals from various fields presented their latest research on early intervention and identification of autism. I also met the newest SLP to join the division I work for. Little did I know she would become the bane of my existence in less than 3 days.

Yesterday, I was in total euphoria as it was my last day of schooling EVER (I know I say that now but I'm like 99.9% sure of this). Needless to say, I was on Cloud 9 all day, even though I still had to get through a group presentation. We had our monthly SLP meeting right before. That's when my day took a turn.

At the end of the meeting, Boss said, "I need to talk to you. You're not in trouble, but I need to talk to you." Turns out she is moving me to a different assignment like pronto; it's like a whole different ballpark. I am flattered that she thinks I am the most capable, but I am extremely unhappy about it for various huge reasons. I keep praying that by tomorrow, when I meet with her, there will be a better solution.

So cute!

I got this picture and I had to share. What handsome fellas!


I keep missing my Aunty Jeany and baby (cousin?) August from New York! She and Baby August have been in L.A., and bro had lunch with them today. Sadly, I still haven't met baby August nor his daddy, Uncle Tom. It's been forever since I saw Aunty Jeany, too. :(

I did, however, get a very sweet voicemail from her. Thank you Aunty Jeany!!! xoxo

Picture + voicemail totally made my day. I had a rough week that ended with a very rough day. But in spite of me having a very rough day at work, I had awesome sessions with my students. Can I just say again that I love my job? I love my job. :)

A Penny Shy of 30 Cents

Today marks my 29th birthday! In all the relaxation and fun today, I didn't even think once about how old I've turned until about an hour ago.

Last night, I had a date with my bro and FBIL. I got to Chez Carmona around 5 P.M., where Chef Bro was cooking a sumptuous pasta dish a la FBIL's recipe. Creamy sauce consisting of chicken, peas, onion, yellow and red peppers, and spices was delicately poured over rigatoni. FBIL glossed olive oil and sprinkled salt over French bread and then grilled it downstairs. We also had Caesar salad with Japanese cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers, corn, and garbanzo beans. Everything was delicious!

Around 6:15, we made our way to the opening night of Madame Butterfly at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion. We stopped by Starbucks, where I tried a Vanilla Bean creme Frappuccino (that tastes like McD's fro-yo). Bro and I picked up tickets while FBIL parked...(and almost didn't make it to the first act!). It was a really neat experience going to an opera. I really didn't know what to expect, but I certainly wasn't expecting what I experienced. One must have a vivid imagination and be able to follow the story line by reading and interpreting the textual translations over the stage. If I hadn't read a synopsis, I don't think I would have gotten the full story. All in all, we agreed that it was a different experience.


Since I got home so late (11:30 p.m.), I really did not want to go to work today, so I called in sick. I was actually able to sleep in a bit and then met bro at Overland Cafe for breakfast at 9:45. We had a nice time, despite my faux pas of knocking over my coffee, which spilled all over my bag. We left around 11 A.M., and I made two pit-stops before returning home.

BF and I were going to go to Lake Shrine on Sunset or the Getty Museum, but since we were leaving our place at 1 PM and planning on going to my favorite Mexican restaurant, we didn't think the timing would work out. We went straight to lunch, where I ordered the chicken fajita for the first time. It was better than I expected! We thoroughly enjoyed our meal.

Afterward, we stopped by the Fox Studios lot in Century City to visit a friend, who hooked up a discount to Season 3 of My Name is Earl! I am soOoooOO excited and can't wait to watch it! Afterwards, we stopped by the Westside Pavilion to shop a bit, but I didn't find anything that I really wanted. Besides, BF bought me a pea coat that will arrive tomorrow and he is getting me a turtle tank for my Lil Focker that I love soOooOo much! :D

Lastly, we stopped by Baskin-Robbins for the traditional birthday cake...only BF bought me 2 cakes (and a real ice-cream milkshake)! He keeps outdoing himself every year! Now, I am just waiting for FBIL and Bro to come over so we can have some delicious cake.


All I wanted for today was to have a nice, relaxing birthday and it certainly was. Thank you to all my friends and family who have wished me a happy birthday!

XOXO

It's Alive!

Pixillated's design (finally) went live today!
Check it out right here. :)

So proud of H2B!

Male Translation

So this one's a different post -- it's still work-related, but it's not about my kiddos. It's actually about some adults I work with.

This year with the 320s has started off quite smoothly since That Crazy Lady is gone, there is a new teacher, and 2.5 new aides (the .5 was here from September through December of last year). Lately, the teacher's been giving me a hard time about the .5 aide who tries the same line on my every single time he sees me (even though he's married with a kid and knows my status, too). Today, I realized his predictability reached a whole new level.

This morning, I e-mailed the 320 teacher to ask if I could use their second classroom to see my regular Special Ed kiddos. I also gave the heads up that during 7th period, I was going to pull in a girl with ASD who has an aide...and I bet the .5 Aide was gonna go back to the teacher and be like, "yo, did you see her??"

So my session began and as the girl and her aide were walking in, the teacher hustled the staff, including .5 aide, out of the room and closed the adjoining door. Not a few minutes later, the .5 aide came in from the outside door. I was already in full swing but stopped my student, stood up, and said, "Mr. [.5 aide], can you close the door so I can turn on the A/C?" He did, got his drink of water, and then left. In my mind, I was like, c'mon, did he really have to get a drink of water right now and distract us, knowing that we were in session?

After my session, I went to debrief with the teacher.

320 Teacher: Oh, I didn't put 2 & 2 together! I thought the aide was your student's mom and you were about to hold a meeting.
Me: no, no, that was the aide...
320T: Yah, [.5 Aide] caught a glimpse of her and told me that she's not the mother, but she's an aide here, too. I said,"well, did you introduce yourself to her?"
320T: He said he met her.
Me: Wait, what? No he didn't.
320T: Yes he did.
Me: When? Just now when I was working??
320T: He said YOU introduced them.
Me ROFL: You know what I said? I said, "Mr. [.5 Aide], can you close the door?" You call that an introduction?!

Classic case of a male interpreting a simple statement to feed that macho ego of his. That was pure comedy!

~~~~

Okay, I can't resist telling a quick story about one of my 320 kids. This one has a tendency to script, vocalize to stim, and cuss people out (i.e., echolalia). He's also been getting a bit grabby with me, like he'll grab my arm with a good grip even though he's a little guy.

So I was at the teacher's desk looking over attendance logs when I felt a hand on my rump! I quickly turned around and saw 320J looking up at me and saying in a loud and clear voice, "Hiiiii!!!!"

If he hadn't gotten my attention inappropriately, I would've been giving him the hugest social praise party; the kid spontaneously initiated an appropriate greeting with clear, purposeful intent! He walked all the way from wherever and "touched" me to get my attention (vs. hitting, kicking, screaming). Too bad it just wasn't with the right kind of touch...

Dinner Double Date

Today really felt like it would be a long day. I slept around 11 last night and then woke up at 4 AM, unable to sleep (again). Ugh. Getting 7.5 - 8 hours of sleep is so difficult. BF had worked all night so he was awake when I woke up. We both lamented about how tired we were, but the difference is that I had the time to sleep and I couldn't.

I started the day early so that by the time the first bell rang, I was desperate for more coffee and stopped by the 320 classroom. Thankfully, they brewed a delicious pot of coffee so I had an additional half a cup. Thursdays are almost back to back sessions with SDC-Basic Skill and severe autism students. The bumming part is that I'm once again room-less two days out of the week, when my co-worker is here to help w/ the caseload. It's a fair trade-off. I'll be seeing my Tues/Fri kiddos in the 320 class.

After work, I went to two markets to pick up groceries for our fabulous dinner double date. Last week, BF suggested that we have Bro and FBIL over for dinner so I said, "How about for the premier of "My Name is Earl'"? We all thought that was a wonderful idea (as we've all recently gotten hooked on the show). They arrived at 7, when BF had just finished grilling zucchinis, mushrooms, and rib-eye steaks garnished with onions and mushrooms. He also made a special Jack Daniel's steak sauce to go with it. I made his Lola's recipe of home-made "potato chips" and mixed a Parisian salad. To top it off, we had Stellas. MmMM...I have been wanting a Stella for a while. (I bought a case from Costco yesterday and as I stocked the fridge, I told BF, "I can't wait to have a Stella tomorrow!" I probably had maybe 3/4 of a bottle though.) For dessert, we had churros and ice-cream! LOL (Costco Churros have become BF and my latest favorite dessert.)

We chatted, laughed, and ate a delicious dinner and enjoyed the season premiere episodes of My Name is Earl. I love it when they come over for dinner; I don't know why we don't do it more often!

Scheduling Autism

I'm trying this new thing this year where I'm not sending call slips or calling for my students that I trust to not ditch nor get lost. So far, it has worked out quite successfully.

This year, 1/3 of my caseload consists of students with autism/ASD that are mainstreamed into general education and/or special education.

How can I tell the ones that have autism? They make my job so easy.

1. They come exactly at the time I told them to, and I only had to tell them once.
2. They remind me the day before that they will see me the next day during their specified period.
   
3. They remember exactly what activity I told them last week that we will do this week.
   
4. They are so honest ("Is your binder organized?" "No." "Did you pay attention in class?" "No.").
5. They learn my name -- and say it correctly -- after one session/trial.
6. The General Ed ones have amazing language skills, vocabulary, and memory. They can follow 2-3 step directions complicated by sequential ordering even though I only presented the direction once without prompts nor cues.
   
7. They put in so much effort and try so hard.

The not so easy part of working with them? Well, this next situation is what I hope to be just an anomaly. I ended the day with one little new kid with autism...and when I called the teacher to send him, the teacher said, "We need to talk about him." As he was on his way to my room, she said, "We have a serious situation here. He has been grabbing and kind of rubbing his winkie in class" -- and I swear the moment she said that, he came in grabbing/rubbing/readjusting his crotch. I could have died!

What creeped me out even more is that he came up right behind me while I was still on the phone in my "personal space" (i.e., desk area). No student has violated my personal space this year until now. I told him that he needed to step away and have a seat but he didn't move! I had to physically prompt him to sit down...as he eyed my pens and stuff (he wanted to "borrow" a pencil...which evidently meant he wanted to steal it, according to the teacher).

As I worked with him and another student, I almost very immaturely cracked up at least twice when I looked at him during his turns. I cease to amaze myself with how ridiculously immature I am as an adult!

Tuesday Boys Harping on My Ride

Today was the first time CV saw me and didn't have a chance to ask me for a ride b/c I beat him to the punch. The Tuesday Boys came to my room and DA, who was holding the Call Slip, walked towards me and said, "I'm not coming to speech any more!" and dramatically ripped the Call Slip in half. I, in my 5'3" glory rose up from my chair and said, "Oh yeah?!?!" Of course we started cracking up. They get a kick out of me rising up to their silly challenges. DA then went to get a drink of water (b/c I have a water fountain by my sink!). CV stood there and I asked, "Hey, you need a ride today?" He totally wasn't expecting it so he couldn't even respond, but of course I quickly said, "just kidding!!" (Hello! I want to keep my job!)

The boys actually did really well today! Both in terms of behavior and language therapy. I was seriously thrilled but trying to contain myself. The majority of my kids LOVE playing Jenga so this week, I incorporated it into language activities (e.g., have them answer something before moving a block). I loved that these boys really did play like they meant it. They put in the effort to respond correctly AND they didn't purposely knock the tower over.

At the end, when it did topple over, they helped me rebuild the tower before they left. As the boys chatted back and forth, CV randomly said, "Miss L-- and her car with the busted wheel."

I was totally LOL!! I was laughing b/c for one, BF and FBIL harp on me ALL the time about my "ghetto wheel" that I really need to get fixed. I've been driving on my full-size spare for months now, ever since the original tire went through two flats (the second one being harmed beyond repair). Secondly, I was laughing b/c this kid noticed and had to make a crack about it!

CV: Miss L-- and her car with the busted wheel.
DA: What?
Me LOL: I haven't had the time to fix it!
DA: Does she have a nice car??
CV: Yeah, it's pretty nice except for that busted wheel. She's got nice rims on all her tires except for that one.
(Me still LOL.)

I really had no good comeback. Whatta punk! (But you know I love working with them.)

A True Professional

For the first time ever, I purchased a book not because it is a class requirement, but because I want to further develop myself as a professional. That statement in itself is soOooO nerdy, let alone the reason why I bought it!

What am I turning into!

I just ordered "The Verbal Behavior Approach: How to Teach Children with Autism and Related Disorders" by Mary Barbera and Tracy Rasmussen. (True, I'm working on a group project on verbal behavior, but that's whatever. The info I need is right in my textbook.)

On the other hand, I put my two textbooks for my last BCBA class on half.com for sale already. "Already" as in I didn't even get past the first two chapters of both books. In "consulting" with my group members, I became convinced that I didn't have to read the books (since we're not being tested both in class and on the board exam).

I wish I was a real book-worm. Somehow, that gene skipped me.

Sleepless in L.A.

I keep having nights of bad rest, and it's really cramping my style. Like this past week, I woke up at 4:30 A.M. one day after going to bed at midnight, and then I woke up at 5:30 this morning. The thing that sucks is that I won't feel sleepy until half an hour before my alarm is supposed to go off. (I totally have the image of Andy in "40-year-old Virgin, when he's wide awake all the way to the time his alarm goes off and he says, "this is going to be a bad day."). Hopefully, it's just the first-month-back-at-work adjustment that is the cause. It most likely is b/c once I wake up and can't fall asleep, my mind immediately starts racing and trying to problem-solve how to work with my kids.

A lot of times, I think about my most challenging kid. He has severe autism and is showing new behavioral problems, which many speculate is due to him not having taken to an effective communication system. With him being nonverbal, the pressure is really on me to make some miracles happen. At the end of the summer, the parents requested an emergency-IEP. After the meeting, I got an e-mail that said parents want to up his services from 2x/week individual...to 5x/week individual! I half-joked that either they think I'm not working hard enough or they think I'm a miracle-worker. The more I think about it, the more I think it's the latter only b/c it's been a while since an SLP was willing to work with him. Last year, I took him off of consultative basis to work with him directly b/c 1) I was the gung-ho SLP who just graduated and 2) deep down I believe that as SLPs, we don't give up on nonverbal kiddos, especially if it's b/c we as the specialists in communication disorders lack the knowledge. Sadly, I'm getting the impression that this is the case with some/most SLPs who have been in this field for many years.

On the other hand, that makes me put a lot of pressure on myself to perform some miracle. Well, I've worked a whole year with him and no miracles have happened.

What I often forget, and my BCBA supervisor compassionately reminds me, is that this teenager has gone through 10+ years of speech therapy...and I cannot expect myself to be the one to perform miracles (and from an ABA-perspective, it would be quite difficult since this child has had 10+ years of reinforcement history communicating in less functional ways). The "typical problem-solving" male that my supervisor is simply told me, "Don't think that you've failed if you haven't gotten him to functionally communicate. You've set your expectations of yourself so high that if you 'fail,' you have only failed yourself. This child has had so many years of therapy and if he is still like this, you are just one more person who didn't meet the challenge. Now if you do meet the challenge, then you'll be a hero. But remember, you didn't fail if you couldn't."

I know this year will be different since I have new staffmembers who are readily available to assist. I just hope that I approach this challenge with the right mind set, knowledge, and experience.

And I hope that I get a good night's rest.

Back to School Night

This was the second time that I attended Back to School Night, and I was optimistic that it would be a better turn out than last year. Little did I know that the parents would be on a tight schedule; i.e., they would follow their child's schedule from 1st - 8th period but on a condensed version. So much for fitting in speech then! However, I didn't find this out until the introductory meeting with the parents.

All of the teachers were sitting on the bleachers so I joined them there. As the meeting began, the principal called up each "team" of teachers (the teachers and students are broken up into universities for team spirit competitions). I actually don't belong to a team so I started to realize that I probably wouldn't get called up and introduced by name like all of the teachers and staff members. I saw my buddies, the custodians, standing a few feet away from me, and I was sure they'd get acknowledged since the principal was introducing everyone. But the introductions ended right after the campus security, and she dismissed the staff to their classrooms while she spoke to the parents for a few more minutes.

When the parents were dismissed, my buddies the custodians turned to me in shock, "Hey! How come she didn't introduce you?"

Me: Oh, it's okay. I really didn't expect her to...
[thinking a bunch of reasons, with the #1 being that the principal has a love-hate relationship w/ me being a County-employee and not a District-employee]
My buddies: What do you mean! She should have!
Me: Oh stop, it's not a big deal. She probably didn't know I was here and with me being a County-employee, it gets confusing sometimes.
My buddies: Well, she still should have. You are so important! You are one of the most important people on this campus!
Me: Thank you --
[I'm sure I laughed b/c I always laugh when I don't know what else to say or do and when I'm flattered and/or embarrassed]
Me: As long as you guys recognize it, that's what matters to me!

Actually, their response really did mean a lot to me -- more than they realize. Ever since I started working (last year), I quickly realized that I will constantly be confronted by educators, administrators, and other professionals who don't really know what SLPs do. As a result, they don't really believe in our work either (memories of That Crazy Lady flash before me).

I know that my buddies really meant it when they stood up for me. Last year, I used to stay late at work, so I often had brief chats as whenever they stopped by my room. One of them got to know and understand what I do...and in turn, I got to know him even more and respect him for everything he does (in addition to maintaining my room). Later on, my second buddy started working at the school and took over my room. He, too, would stop and chat when he could. He once told me how much he respects SLPs. I was a bit skeptical at first, but then he shared that one of his sons used to receive therapy for his language disorder back in school. My buddy said that if it weren't for his son's SLP, his son wouldn't be doing what he's doing today. And he told me of the amazingly (super-smart) projects his son works on now (like aerospace engineering stuff post-Masters degree). And they attribute his son's success and confidence to his teachers and even moreso his SLP (of course I gave him and his wife props for being awesome parents).

If it were up to me, I would have given props to our custodians. They, too, are some of the most important people on campus...and it's a shame that not many people know how fascinating, thoughtful, and sincere these guys are.

Emotions Gone Wild

Today was an emotional day.

At one point during the day, I wondered what BSILF, her hubby, and their new baby boy were doing at 4:15 AM b/c maybe I had sympathy pains. I was pretty tired when I went to bed late last night, but I still woke up around 4:15 and was unable to fall asleep again. I knew it was going to be a long day because I also had to attend Back To School Night beginning at 6 P.M.

My morning started Twilight-Zone slow since I only had half a cup of coffee (I was juked! The PTSA was providing breakfast and I was so certain there would be coffee). I had just finished a group of kids and was waiting for the next group, when I got a voicemail from BSILF. I was literally fighting tears listening to her message.

~ ~ ~

On Saturday, their beautiful baby boy was born. Little did many of us know the struggles this little trooper encountered from the moment he entered the world. I started getting worried when I hadn't heard from BSILF over the rest of the weekend (after one e-mail and one text asking if I could call her). BF kept telling me that everything was okay and to stop bothering the new parents who just needed private time with their new son. My fears were confirmed when I got a text from BSILF on Saturday night saying, "Call us tomorrow. Thanks for the prayers." What prayers?? I didn't know I had received prayer requests from them...which sent me immediately into heightened religious panic mode.

On Sunday, BSILF called to catch me up to speed. Their little boy was fighting to maintain a healthy status and fortunately, he fought enough to avoid Neonatal ICU admittance. However, after a few more days of silence, my worries started up again. Then I got today's voicemail that made me so sad and worried.

I am not used to hearing BSILF so fragile. The only times I've ever seen/heard her cry were tears of joy, when she announced that her and her hubby were expecting a baby. When we're together, we are like kids laughing nonstop until we're out of breath. I listened to her breaking voice telling me that she was discharged two days early...so that she and her husband could accompany their little boy to the NICU at CHOC. She asked that I send an e-mail out to her friends and family. I was on the verge of crying but had to stop myself because my kids was going to walk in at any second.

After the session, I quickly got on the computer and composed an e-mail on BSILF's behalf. It was both an honor and a challenge because I knew it would be one of extreme emotions. I began by announcing Baby Boy's name, Luke Trooper. Baby Luke's middle name grows more and more significant with every passing hour, as his body struggles to maintain the healthy state. All I kept thinking about when I wrote the e-mail was BSILF telling me over and over again in every message, how absolutely beautiful and perfect their little boy is. I have no doubts.

I tried my best to write an e-mail that conveyed BSILF and hubby's sentiments. I knew that they wouldn't want any of us to worry (even though we will regardless!) and thanked everyone for their thoughts and prayers. As the e-mail responses started pouring in, I fought tears again. With every e-mail that I read, I just kept thinking about how amazing Mark and Kristi are. The outpour of love and concern was overwhelming. It's oddly comforting that through them, I have become connected with so many people that I may never meet in person. However, we all share that common ground of knowing and loving these two wonderful people...now a family of three.

My heart goes out to these new parents. Every time Kristi leaves me a voicemail, I am overwhelmed by her love for her husband, baby son, and life; she exudes this love with her words and her tone of voice. It's like she's fallen in love for the first time again, but this time, it's not just falling in love with her husband but also with their most beautiful gift to each other, Baby Luke.

Keep fighting, Luke Trooper. We have loved you even before you were born...and we love you even more now. You are beautiful beyond words. We know you will get through this.

Tuesday Boys Series Continued

I knew today would be an adventurous day just looking at who I had lined up. Today, my co-worker was with me so that was a tiny bit of a challenge as she is still getting acquainted with procedures and routines. She is so sweet and thoughtful, though; she never wants to bother me (but will still ask good questions which actually don't bother me; I'm more than happy to help, especially since I am quite the question-asker when I'm learning a new job).

Early in the morning, I stopped by the severe autism classroom to see if my schedule jived with theirs for speech therapy pull-out sessions. The A.P. was there, one who I can't say I have that much respect for. When I went to the first day of the 3-day orientation, that's when I first got a taste of how unprofessional this high-up professional can be. She poked fun at the stereotypic movements that individuals with severe autism are often seen doing. Today, I walked in while she was going over logistical stuff with RB, the teacher. I overheard her make a couple cracks at how these kids with severe autism are comparable to her trained dog. I walked out. Unfortunately, when I went back, she was still there and she had just gotten to the daily schedules and asked where my services fit in. She saw that RB had already put on there that the kids had snack time with me twice a week, and I explained how I'd pull some out and see others as part of the Language Arts station. She made another joke about how I'm just training those kids like her dog and how her dog wouldn't know the difference if she fed him cat snacks and likewise, our kids wouldn't know if I fed them cat snacks either.

I have certainly never been one to think quick and respond to inappropriate remarks, especially when the ones making those remarks are my superiors (fortunately, she is not my administrator). I was in utter shock, disappointment, and anger. Even now, all I can do is shake my head at how insensitive people can be, especially to such innocent children. It's infuriating and degrading to think that some people who call themselves professionals compare the students to animals and view me simply and wrongfully as an "animal trainer." Am I exaggerating? I don't think so b/c I went through this last year with That Crazy Lady.

{{{still shaking my head at the thought of all this!}}}

Shortly after, I went back to the 320 classroom to work with some of the kids. I pulled two of them for individual sessions into my room and then worked with all of them during their snack time. The funniest thing is that now, not only does J320 call me "Mi- Mee-ang," but ALL of them call me that! I tried to teach/correct one of the most verbal ones on Friday, but then my name went from "Miss Mee-ang" to "Miss La-la-lee-MEE-ang." I was like, omg, now look what I've done now! So I've humbly accepted that my name will be Mee-ang with the 320s. (I haven't cut my RSPED kiddos any slack, though!)

I went back to my room and saw my Asperger's kiddo who I am hoping to put on consultative services sometime this year. He still has articulation disorders of gliding and vocalization, but when I probed today, he was putting more effort than he ever did last year. I was very pleased with him. He appears to be adjusting well to his new teachers and grade, too.

After a few more sessions, I finally saw DA and CV, the infamous Tuesday boys. I am kind of glad that I saw them at the end of my day b/c they were a handful! I watched them through my window, as they got the call slip during P.E. (I love my new room location for this reason!) and then I swung my door open and watched them round the fence and come to me. They immediately started griping about not wanting to come nor stay long. Their excuse today was that today was the first day they would be in the gym (where it was assumed to be cooler). Crazy DA started taking off his shirt, and I said in the most serious, no-nonsense tone, "PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON." Granted, he had an undershirt, but he hooked the hem of his shirt behind his neck to "not get sweat on it" but I was NOT down with anybody walking by and thinking this kid was trying funny business with me or vice-versa! My co-worker was behind the room division, listening to me tell DA twice, "put your shirt back on" and I'm sure she was silently freaking out for me! I told them that they had to stay for 5 more minutes and give me 10 complete sentences each about their summer and they did extremely well (0 errors with 0 prompts!). After DA finished, he told CV to slow down so that he'd take up the rest of the 5 minutes. When CV finished, DA asked me why my co-worker got the "bigger room" (the larger half of the room). I really didn't know how to respond so I said, "I don't know."

DA: Can I ask her?
Me: Sure, go ahead, but you have to ask her in the right way, starting with her name, Mrs. R--
DA: Mrs. R--, why you have the bigger room?
[Mrs. R didn't hear him so he asked again. This time, Mrs. R walked over so DA asked again.]
DA: Why you got the bigger room?
Mrs. R--: Do I have the bigger room? I didn't even notice. I don't really know why.
DA looked straight at me and said, "Is it b/c [Mrs. R--] is smarter than you?"
Me: Just for that, you have to stay 15 extra minutes!

Of course I was just playing. Yeah right I wanted to let an 8th grader clown me for an extra 15 minutes! (I also felt bad that I unintentionally implied that I am smarter than Mrs. R--...although I'm not sure if she caught onto that or not...Hopefully not.) Not trusting these boys, I decided to escort them to the gym. On our way, we passed by Mrs. R and her two students.

DA: Yo A__, what are we doing in the gym?
Mind you, this student is drenched in sweat.
DA: do we still gotta run?
A: Yes.
DA and CV turned to each other with this look of disbelief, as if running was forbidden inside the gym and their teacher had betrayed them. They both turned back to me and begged, "WAIT! Can we go back to the Speech Room? We were just kidding about leaving early! C'mon! Take us back!"

Yeah right! I escorted them all the way to the gym and didn't turn around until they both set foot in that joint!

After that, I ran off to two meetings, stopped by the gym, my youngest aunty's house, and then finally home. It's been a long day, but I still have a long week to go! Tomorrow's Back To School Night, training on Thursday, and then my first IEP for the year, which happens to be a high-profile one. I am so looking forward to the weekend already!

The Old Kiddos and the Older Ones

This marks my first week of "regular" scheduled sessions...although it's already promising to be irregular since I have an all-day training on Thursday and an IEP for one of my higher-profile cases on Friday. Back-To-School Night is on Wednesday, too. This year, I will try to stay longer than an hour...

I saw a few of my kiddos from last year and they acted as if 3 months hadn't even passed. I caught DA on his way out to the track and told him I was about to ask his teacher to send him to speech. He begged that I call him up tomorrow instead. I asked him why and I practically saw the proverbial light bulb turn on above his head as he said without skipping a beat, "Because today is the first day that I'm dressed in my P.E. clothes so I don't want to miss P.E." I was like, What the heck does that mean? I let him go since I needed to work on some IEPs anyways.

My last kiddo for the day was a new one who was quite the chatterbox. I mistakenly thought he was this other kiddo that I've seen on campus now, flapping his hands in a way that's characteristic of autism. So I kept watching his movements and taking down mental notes on his "odd" behaviors. He did remind me of my other kiddos with ASD -- kind of rigid in routines and rules, very talkative but lacking topic maintenance, and very knowledgeable about specific topics. Looking back in his file, this kiddo's primary dx is just specific language impairment. After he left, I e-mailed his main teacher and asked that she let me know of any concerns she may have. She wrote back that he really enjoyed his time with me and that we even talked about earthquakes (which we did). LOL I went back to the Teacher's Lounge and that's when I saw the other kiddo and realized that he was not the same as my student...

...not that I want to add onto my caseload but re: mystery flapping kid -- hasn't ANYONE noticed and been concerned?? I am very tempted to go up to him and ask what his name is. Maybe he is on my caseload but he is one of my new Wednesday kiddos that I haven't seen yet. He is one that is to be continued...

After school, I was driving down the street when I saw DA's accomplice, CV, who was standing on the opposite side of the street and waiting for me to pass by. As I drove past, he yelled, "HEY! LEMME HAVE A RIDE!!"

Yeah right!! LOL Of course not even 10 seconds later, I drove past DA with his fellow hoodlums and I start shaking my head again. Those boys. Should I move them back to Tuesdays so my Tuesday Boys Series can continue?

I went on my merry way to Costco, leaving the work day behind. I was shopping for dinner, when I emerged out of an aisle and almost ran into one of my favorite kiddos from last year! This kid was such a clown and a smarty-pants. I asked how he was liking high school and then wished him well. I bum-rushed off b/c in my cart was a ginormous bottle of vodka that I had picked up for my brother. (For reals! It's for my bro!)

The days haven't been super-stressful but nonetheless, I've been extremely tired. Tomorrow is sure to be another day full of even more funny stories since I see my kiddos with autism.

IT'S A BOY!!!

Congratulations to Kristin and Mark!!!

BSILF and her husband welcomed a BEAUTIFUL baby boy into this world early this morning!

Kristi went into the hospital yesterday and left me a message to say it might happen around 1 AM or 1 PM (how in the world did I miss the call!). I went to sleep around midnight and happened to wake up around 6:45 AM (I must be on that Circadian "clock"). I got up to feed my turtle (and I admit, was jotting down therapy ideas for the kids that I worry/stress out the most over) when I thought -- wait, better check my phone for any messages.

Sure enough, I got TWO texts from Kristin! At 5:28, she (or possibly Mark?) texted me,

"It's a BOY! He is perfect and healthy!
Five pounds nine ounces, 19 inches. We are so happy!"

As am I! I can't wait to tell BF! Last night, we chatted on and off about how fabulous and exciting this time is. Well, we have been doing this for the past few months but this time especially is the most exciting.

They sent a multimedia message at 6:55 AM with his first picture. Tears of joy streamed down my face just looking at the beautiful boy sleeping like an angel (with his cute little baby blue beanie). Since BF is still asleep, I shared the momentously joyous moment with my turtle (as she finishes her breakfast).

Words can't express how ecstatic I am for them. Eight months of impatiently waiting for God's perfect gift has finally arrived. :)

Welcome Baby Boy! I'm an aunty! I have a NEPHEW!!! :D :D :D

(I am still waiting to find out his name! Eight months of guessing girls' names and 2 weeks of guessing non-gender-specific names and I'm still off!)

P.S. My non-gender-specific turtle onesie will be perfect for him! :) WoOO-hOoO!
P.P.S. As I finish this post, BF just woke up and I shared the wonderful news with him!

We love you, Mark, Kristin, & Baby Boy! Congratulations!
xoxoXoXOxOXoxo