Sleep Deprived

This morning, I hit rock bottom in terms of my level of functioning. The problem is not that I go to sleep after 2 A.M.; the problem is waking up at 5:30. Weekday after weekday. Today, I got talked to at work, after a morning of mistakes that are "so not like you, Cheryl." Seriously, I wish I knew the secret to these attorneys superhuman powers. I.e. one travels b/t LA and SD multiple times a week, was coaching T-ball, made it home in time for son's game every Friday when he wasn't coaching, while representing the firm's largest client in a case that is setting a precedent in healthcare standards. Talk about sleep deprived. I get an extra hour of sleep than these workaholics do, and I can't manage to enter all their precious billable time right. I should get fired. And get severance.

Again, my last day is changing b/c Dr. F moved our midterm day. My co-workers forewarn me re: burning bridges, but I keep justifying to myself that it doesn't matter. I'm leaving the law field. No turning back. So, what's the big deal if I happen to burn a bridge? But me being the paranoid person who keeps receipts and statements for like 5 years, can't help but wonder if it will come back to haunt me.

Last night, I visited my best friend, a day after her birthday. I kinda liked that I was more spontaneous this week, visiting people despite my crazy schedule. I had a great time w/ her, her hubby, and their new doggy. She also made me do a quick reflection on my current transition in life. She asked me, aren't you excited? You're well on your way to your new career!

Actually, I can't quite remember exactly what she said, but she made me smile inside-out. Despite all my stress, delirium, and hysteria, I really am excited about my new career. Maybe a part of it is knowing that my life is headed in a specific direction and I find a lot of satisfaction being in this field. Who knows, maybe it'll be different once I'm out of school and finally in the field. Maybe it'll get even better since I won't have reading assignments and exams any more!