6) What are one or two things you learned about yourself?

I (re)learned -- and finally accepted -- that I seriously need to trust my clinical instincts. It's hard to do that as a student clinician under the supervision of someone with decades of experience on me. An experienced, intelligent person can easily persuade me to change my goals/objectives and dissuade me from pursuing what I originally intended to target, but I know, too, that sooner than later (like before March...or even January), I need to really trust my clinical judgment.

Although today was not as bad as a week ago, I came home and cried for a while. "Sometimes people cry. It's okay to cry. " Heck, I think I should "finish" my faux social story (a tribute to tonight's class that ended at 9 P.M. on the dot)~

Why I Cry

Many people cry for different reasons. Some people cry out of joy. Some people cry when they are sad. Many people cry because they are moved. Some people cry just to cry. That is okay. When people cry, it is usually cathartic. Sometimes I cry when I see a sappy commercial. I usually cry when I read or hear sad news. Once in a while, I cry for a while because in the end, I feel so much better. Crying helps me release pent up emotions so I can regain composure and confidence and move on. It is okay to cry sometimes.

It really is okay. I know this sounds crazy, but it really is like a routine I go through every once in a while. It makes me think of "Collateral"~

MAX: You like what you do?
ANNIE: Yeah.
MAX: But not right now...?
ANNIE: No, I do...like I can't wait. ...I love standing up in that courtroom. At the same time...I always get this clenched-up thing the night before the first day...
MAX: Clenched-up how...?
ANNIE: I think I'm gonna lose. I think I suck. I think my case sucks. I haven't prepared enough. My exhibits aren't in order. People are gonna figure out that I don't know what I'm doin'. And I've had this charade going for years…
Then I cry... I don't throw-up. A lot of people throw-up. I have a strong stomach.
Then I get it together. And rewrite my opening statement. Work the exhibits. For the rest of the night. That's my routine. In the morning, it starts. I'm fine.

A little background on me ~ I don't consider myself one to cry a lot, but when I do, I think about a lot of things -- things that don't even have to do with the original reason why I started crying. It's cathartic for me because I think about the good things in my life. I think about God, perhaps because it's when I'm really in touch with my emotions. I think about my loved ones; how much I love them and how much they love me. Maybe these are the reasons why I enjoy crying.

Tonight, a lot of my tears were out of sheer frustration. One reason was that I couldn't remember why I didn't target a particular area with the Riddler. (Un)fortunately, everyone else remembered. Two of my classmates and BF remembered, but I didn't until they reminded me that it wasn't me that decided against it. Two weeks ago, I re-did my T.A. and confidently approached 2T with my new goal, but she shot it down in two seconds; she said, "You are not an English teacher." True that, but at what point do you call it a disorder of morphology or morphosyntax?

The best thing that BF said to me is, "Just remember and be proud of yourself for seeing this (and being 'right') 3 weeks ago, even though she didn't see it until now (even though you had brought it up to her 3 weeks ago)."

Today, I also cried thinking about my wonderful kiddos. I met with M's Mom for 20 minutes. Wonderful NB translated for me, and I really appreciated it b/c it is so important to me to meet with parents and understand their concerns. After all, these are their kids. I felt sad realizing -- again -- how helpless parents can be vs. P. Ed. b/c they do not speak English (nor know the rules of the game). Although that is M's case, I am happy that her parents are very aware of her needs and are ready to go into the mtg on Monday locked and loaded (although they need the ammo). I felt honored that Mom asked me to make an informal list of recommendations for her to bring on Monday (a.k.a. "the ammo"). Coincidentally, all the behaviors I observed are exactly what Mom and Dad also observe in her other language. Seriously. It wasn't power of suggestion b/c Mom actually said it first and I'd confirm the translation. I wanted to cry when Mom looked me dead in the eye and said "Gracias." Thank you for helping my daughter. She said it twice. What I love best about speaking to the parents is sincerely commending them for being wonderful parents who are proactive with their child. It breaks my heart when parents just don't seem to care about their children.

Subsequently, I wanted to cry when Miracle came in and handed me some Halloween candy. I don't think I ever gave up my candy as a 7 y/o. Then we had the following conversation:

"What's your costume?"
I almost LOL, but instead, I maturely said, "I am not wearing a costume today. If I were, what do you think I should be?"
"A ballerina."
"Why a ballerina?"
"Because you're skinny."
"Oh, um, thank you, but I don't think I should be a ballerina because I really don't know how to dance."
"Then you should be Tinkerbell."
"Tinkerbell? Why Tinkerbell?"
"Because you are beautiful."

That was so sweet, but what made me extremely happy was when she generalized in one instance that she could've easily reverted back to her typical language habits. I know it was just one opportunity, but I was still so proud of her!

I was also excited when Riddler's sister said, "I know I only see him once a week, but I noticed that he is talking a little differently now." Whether she was just saying that to throw me a bone, it sure worked. Unfortunately, he's been getting less and less motivated. He really doesn't like 2T's suggestion in helping him. I don't like making him do it, but I kind of have to. Finally, I had had enough and I looked him straight in the eye with my back to the camera, and I said in the softest voice, "Look, I know you don't like doing this and I don't like doing this either, but you know what? We both have to do this to help you." I don't know if I was imagining it but the moment I was real and straight up with him, he gave me 100% again. I really appreciated that.

I was just bumming that he was so turned off with 2T's tx suggestion that he didn't even want to talk to me any more nor share about the cards he brought. How discouraging is that. Is tx effective if it makes the kid not even want to talk any more??

I felt so bad that I gave him more than half my stash of good candy. He walked out literally cupping his two hands together so his candy wouldn't fall out. He also said, "You have to eat your popcorn soon." Before session, he gave me a bag of popcorn. "You have to eat it before it expires. On January 20." What random instructions.

I'm glad my kids bring me lots of smiles and laughs. :)

Happy Halloween!

Brief Bits

I can't blog much b/c I haven't done any schoolwork yet, but I thought I might write a little bit just to get me going.

So I got mad at my turtle for the first time. I've never gotten mad at her before, but last night and today, she's been eating her dock!! I get mad at her and then sad for getting mad at her. I still love her a lot. Even when I was at my dad's and getting all stressed, I looked at her photo album on my laptop. That's how obsessed I am. It's the next best thing to looking up from my laptop to see her swimming around.

That's why I was so excited when Dr. Cousin called me tonight to ask about turtles. Ever since she met Lil F, she's been thinking about getting one. I am all for it!

I also began my part-time job again. It's just a temp thing for the next 3 weeks. I like working there for several reasons:

1. Brewed Starbucks coffee
   
2. They're so flexible with my hours
3. I think they pay me well for the type of work I do
   
4. Everyone's got great work ethic
   
5. People are soOOOOoOoOo nice
6. The best Halloween candy (Milky Way, Twix, and Snickers)
7. Brewed Starbucks coffee!!!

Regarding #4, I have never worked with such an intensely hard-working crowd. I mean, literally everyone works hard. At the same time, I can't imagine doing what I do for 8 hours. 5 hours max (although I did 6 today). Either way, when I go in and do my thang, I think about my BF's work ethic. When we worked in the same office, he was this way -- never took breaks and always gave his 100%.

Me? I can be a big-time slacker. I thank my lucky stars that I type relatively fast and that I'm quite proficient at formatting docs. But I'm proud to say that when I'm working for VR, I don't slack off. Heck, I don't even take breaks. Now that's saying a lot.

Anywho, here is someone who has worked really hard to make it. :) And no, I'm not referring to Vanessa Williams...although she has certainly made it. I'm talking about my Grandma's Cousin's Daughter, Aunty Jeany!!! :) Check her out ~ "Vanessa Williams speaks with Jean Lee about her role in the hit TV show "Ugly Betty", her new film "My Brother" and her involvement in the African-American Women in Cinema Film Festival."

P.S. Aunty Jeanie's actually gotten quite a lot of air-time in the past, but I always miss her b/c she's EST and so far away... :*(

Therapy for Therapy

Today, I chickened out of meeting w/ 2T so she came and looked for me and asked if we had to discuss anything. "Um, not really, except about those parent mtgs next week..." I totally pulled a bait-and-switch. Ha! Well, not really a bait-&-switch, but I kind of diverted her attention away from the most recent session eval comments and discussed other stuff. I couldn't believe our meeting only lasted about 5 minutes total.

The best part of therapy today was when I received therapy for therapy. Actually, I received therapy for therapy from BF earlier on in the day, when I started worrying about my sessions. Then when I was absolutely confident I was ready to plow through my sessions, getting through all the activities/objectives, I opened the door and saw my sweet little Miracle sitting on the couch with Mom. She jumped up and hugged me. I just about melted. It was like she knew I just needed a therapeutic hug to get my sessions going.

Both of my sessions went well enough. Miracle was on the ball, making me so proud! I must have cured her! JK Seriously, though, I was really proud of her. When I walked her out, she gave me another hug.

Next was the Riddler's session. My guess is that he may have been a little preoccupied. I tried another colloquial greeting and asked, "So, what's happening?" Again, he took it like I was really asking what was happening and made some reference to how they (him, his mom, and sister) were just discussing something...and then he brushed it off. He was pretty bored today and slacked off a little bit, but in the end, he performed fine. At the end of the session, I made the wrong choice of telling him that it was time to go but he needed to finish three more sentences. He read through them so fast that 2T came in on the last item and said he needed to give it his best and re-read the last sentence. After she closed the door, I joked with him, "Thanks a lot for getting us both in trouble!!" At least he had fun at the end.

Today, I've made peace with myself in terms of anything happening in clinic. Hopefully, this peace stays, especially since we get our midterm grades next week.

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What are one or two things you learned about yourself?
I can still have fun with my client even though we are working on something serious.

(P.S. This is probably the lamest and shortest response I've written on my eval. The comment I get back should be interesting.)

Recovery Day

Two weeks ago, BSILF & I e-mailed back and forth about a variety of school-related stuff as well as random topics. One of the subjects was about using the word "love" and "hate." I haven't said I hated someone since I was a kid. Seriously, I really haven't. I even rarely say I hate something (except for traffic). On the other hand, I don't say I love someone, unless I really mean it. I love lots of things though. I love candy, I love my turtle, I love starbucks.

Today, I looked for BSILF, thinking we'd go get her pumpkin smoothie and my crazy fruit one, but she was nowhere in sight. After observing my homie AL's AAC session, I stayed in one of the clinic rooms to work on clinic stuff. I heard someone say, "Has anybody seen Cheryl?"

I opened my door, and there was BSILF holding a cup of Starbucks. Not just any cup. I saw a "3" in the "shot" box. A triple venti soy with extra whip white chocolate mocha. For me!!

Along with my all-time favorite drink was a card with a beautiful red rose on the cover (the one pictured to the left). :) Right when I saw it, I knew she must've taken the picture!* BSILF knew I had quite a rough day yesterday, so she thought a little day-time pick-me-up would get me back on track. I was so touched that I hugged her and said, "I love you!" She probably decided at that moment that I am crazy (or perhaps she already knew that). I mean, it's one thing to write "love" or draw a heart and sign your name. It's different when a friend tells you s/he loves you.**

*The rose is from Rose Hills Memorial Park, where there are over 600 varieties of roses! I have never been there, but how amazing that must be!!

**I would have put up a Mortified entry on the first time I told a friend I loved him, but my journal is in my trunk. Hopefully, nobody steals Elsa any time soon...

As BSILF stepped out to take care of business, I sat there sipping my favorite coffee drink and reading a very encouraging message (that ended with a heart and her signature). I had a private corny thought, "I feel like a GF in her honeymoon phase that just received a bouquet of roses from her 'new' BF."

In a sense, I did! Coffee is just as yummy as chocolate and BSILF just sent me a bouquet of roses. :)
This beetle on a rose is stunning. BSILF has a way of capturing nature at that perfect moment where there's an "imperfection" in the otherwise perfect picture, but that's what makes it so perfectly beautiful.

Yellow roses remind me of my gramma's garden. When I lived at Ama's (over the summers), I loved to cut roses and put them in the tiny Mikasa vases that she also bought me (because I really wanted them)! Although yellow roses aren't my favorite, I used to cut them all the time because Ama's yellow roses bloomed the prettiest. Ama also has the rose with the beetle on it, but they grow on her rose trees and like they're on steroids. They're giganto!

White roses are Lola's favorite. This white rose is stunning because it's so perfectly pure.

Yesterday, I almost cried at school b/c I felt crummy. Today, I almost cried at school b/c I was so touched. Thank you BSILF, again!

Worst day of clinic ever

Seriously, today was the worst day of clinic ever. Not being melodramatic. It wasn't b/c of my kiddos. I have got to be 2T's #1 dumbest lab rat this quarter.

My day started off with 3.5 hrs of sleep, since I stayed up revising clinic docs and finishing I.S.R.s. again b/c I think I finally figured it out.* At least I hope.

*Tangent: the (only) good thing about finally writing the "list of goals and objectives" correctly came up tonight in our language seminar. That's how school SLPs complete IEP goals!

We had a Dx this AM and I realized that me and JOmega both have the crappiest schedules this quarter. She lives N of RPV and I on the W-side, yet we both have 9 AM Dxs and clinic until 6 on Fridays. Our last Dx member lives in Palmdale! (She also has the coolest toys and books for kids.) The good news is that we only have one more Dx left. The sad news is that I really enjoy Dx evals and I've had great experiences with the supervisor and my classmates. The thing is that I've had really good schedules in the past so it's fair.

Anywho, before my meeting with 2T, BF called and broke bad news. That left him and me in a depressed state...(so I told him to play with the turtle b/c she'll make him feel better. He called me crazy of course). Meeting with 2T was just the icing on the cake. I had my usual hour-long meeting with her and I declare, I really do not like these session evals. I hope this is the last quarter of them.

I guess I was too honest on my last ones b/c the things that I thought were good were bad and all the things that I thought were bad were really bad. I wanted to cry halfway through the meeting. I was so defeated that I spoke incoherently (the way I normally do when I'm totally defenseless and anxious). I gave myself a bigger complex during the meeting b/c then I started wondering what psychoanalysis she was running on me b/c of my inability to communicate (and her background in psych).

The thing is, she's really good. Intimidating, but good. I'm just a dumb lab rat (A.K.A. Rat A). She hopped around all the ongoing sessions multiple times, but for me, today was the most times she stopped by my sessions. It's really unnerving, especially after our discussion during the meeting. The Riddler, on the other hand, was offended that she treated him like a kid (although he is a kid!); he said something sarcastic after she left. Thankfully, she didn't hear...but I have it on videotape for my videotape eval. I guess I won't be turning today's session in...Oh, but the Riddler cracked me up b/c as our session came to an end, I asked him what song he likes (segue into Friday's session) and he said, "The Queens." I'm thinking, no way Queen. He's too young. He said, "You know, like 'weeeeee are the champions, my friiiiiiend. Weeee'll keep on fiiiiighting, til the end.'"

We are the champions,
We are the champions,
No time for losers
Cuz we are the champions
OF THE WORLD!

Actually, I don't think he sang the whole stanza, but somehow he got to the end b/c I remember chiming in on "world." I guess I needed to fake myself into feeling like a champ.

Next was our 3 hour class where we had to unexpectedly present our mini-AAC board. Mine was soOooOoo lame, especially going after K3's kick-@$$ AAC boards (plural) for Grama W. I almost jacked one of hers to present. She was sweet enough to take me seriously and agree. Crazy K3! ;) My sweet clinic gang had to cheer me on b/c they saw me in b/t sessions and knew it was a bad day. Well, actually, we were all in the same boat.

So I cried a little on my way home. I can't remember the last time school made me cry. I told my BF, I'm so exhausted and I just want to go home and sleep...and wake up next quarter. Just really bad days for both BF & I. When I got home, I asked the BF, "Do you think the turtle ever has bad days?" I totally expected him to give me the customary, "You're crazy!" and a solid "No." Instead, he said, "Yes, she's had many bad days. Remember when..."

1. She fell an equivalent of 20 stories? (This story always makes me laugh.)
2. We had a heater that didn't have a thermometer and you made the water so hot that she actually jumped onto the dock? And we thought she was just excited about basking!
3. She scratched her neck and had a scab for two weeks? (She actually has a scar! Like her lines don't match up. This also makes me laugh. We still don't know how that happened.)
4. She got her head stuck between the dock mounting brackets? (Regardless, I still think my turtle is really smart.)
   
5. You fed her a bad piece of lettuce? (I didn't realize it was somewhat dehydrated.)
   
6. You lost her? (I didn't lose her! She just wanted to hide...three times. Wait til she's like 8 inches. She won't be able to hide anywhere in the bedroom then!)

Yeah, he's right. She's had some bad days, too! But like BF said, it's going to get better. No clinic on November 10 and 24!

I've paid my dues -
Time after time -
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime -
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face -
But I've come through

We are the champions - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions - of the world -

Elsa's 10K

Today was a looOooOoong day of clinic stuff. We had a group meeting from 11 - 12 and then I had my individual meeting from 2:30 - 3:45 and then clinic from 4 - 6. It was extremely helpful but bad b/c I was completely unprepared for Miracle's session.

The funniest part about our meeting with 2T today was when she gave an analogy. She was in particularly good spirits (actually cracking jokes for the first time!) so she opened up the "floor" to discussions of whether we "cured" our clients in one session and if we should dismiss them and other news and mishaps. Of course the lesson is that we must examine every factor. Perhaps our testing/probing material is drastically different than our therapy material. That could easily account for why our client could score poorly on standardized testing and be instantly "cured" during the first session of therapy. On the other hand, our client could not be making progress at all, but is it really our client incapabilities?

When 2T was supervising psychology graduate students at a well-known local university, she was down in the rat lab. Of course they joked that they were actually the lab rats. Either way, they spent hours in the lab training rats to respond to conditioning. It never failed that at least one student would go up to her after several days/weeks and declare that his/her rat was dumb and s/he wanted to trade rats. 2T would inevitably sit them down and discuss that the purpose of this lab is to train the rats so that they're not "dumb" but are capable of doing something. She then guided the student to examine his/her own techniques, variables, etc. After a week or two, the student would come back and report, "OMG! My dumb rat is actually smart!" As if the student had just cured "his/her" rat. The lesson is that clinicians must always examine every aspect of their treatment if progress is not made or favorable results are not being accomplished. It's not that our clients are "dumb rats." It's (likely) us.

After that talk, we went about with our sessions. After one session, I had a mini-therapy session in the hallway w/ Bruce Lee's cousin. We lamented about how our clients have so many "levels" going on that it's hard to pinpoint what we should target. Then BLC said, "Hm, maybe I just have a dumb rat."

I know, totally cruel, un-pc, and all that stuff, but it was hysterical! Okay, maybe you had to be there. I thought it was hilarious either way. On the reals, we don't have "dumb lab rats." Another thing that 2T continually reminds us is that we really need to begin our therapy by capitalizing on our clients' strengths. It's totally logical, but as student clinicians, we often go into sessions free-stylin' (or maybe I'm just speaking for myself), leaving all the knowledge and evidence-based intervention techniques we've studied, at the door. It's funny and eerie how we can forget the simplest truths when we're in those 50 minute sessions.

I was so glad to be done with clinic. Luckily, I didn't need to sneak out b/c 2T was talking to my classmate. I usually try to quietly put away materials and avoid her stopping to talk to me more, especially since I had a place to be tonight!

I had a date with BSILF! She played hookie from "work" today (to work on ISRs and other school stuff). I have to admit that I was really looking forward to kickin' it with her. We met at Costco (my fave place) to peruse the huge aisles for something to devour. Like BGF's hubby said, it's a bad idea to shop when you're hungry. Worst -- imagine indecisive me wanting to eat everything. Fortunately, she/we picked out a delicious (huge) chicken caesar wrap and chocolate chip cookies, and then we headed back to her place and chatted (while I ate super slow as usual). I totally wish I could have stayed longer (I probably coulda talked for hours with her), but I had a "long" drive back as well as more session evals to write.

In other news, Elsa had a momentous day. Her odometer struck 10,000 when I left school to go to BSILF's! I was a bit sad, but also glad to "get it over with." It's like she hit puberty. That also means I gotta take her in for another "gyn" appt -- get her oil changed and other parts checked out. I'm thrilled b/c I just received a $5 off coupon. Very helpful for my savings since my baby needs the expensive synthetic oil. Unfortunately, she's 5K miles overdue w/ a tire rotation. :( What's crazy is that I've only had her for 10 months. BF's car "hit puberty" the week of my birthday (when he let me take her to school)...but his car is 3 years 4 months!!

Thx BSILF 4 a gr8 d8!

Supernatural Bagels

Today went nicely. Maybe b/c I began my school day with a yummy grande in a venti nonfat vanilla latte with extra whip cream.

When I got to school, one of my wonderful classmates arrived with a very special treat! She bought the most delicious bagels from Panera and in support of breast cancer awareness month! I was doubly delighted b/c for some unknown reason, I am a big advocate of breast cancer awareness (not that I've done the big walk or anything...but I do send in my pink Yoplait lids! And not that I don't support other cancer, disease, and disability awareness). Funny b/c on my drive to school today, I told myself that to put my pink ribbon pin on when I get to school, but in my sleep-deprived state, I completely forgot! :(

But I have to rave about my classmate and the bagels! First, I really admire Ms. NB for generously buying to support a great cause. I thought she had bought 20 bagels to sell for donations for an organization, but no! She bought to support the cause and to brighten our day!

I don't know anyone personally that has/had breast cancer (and/or is a survivor). The closest I "got" was knowing someone through weekly updates from my co-worker's sister's best friend. We talked about this friend like she was part of both of our families (after all, TK is my black sista from another motha). After a weekend, we'd catch up with the usual roll call (How is dad, sister, brother, cousin, significant other, Stacey?). Although Stacey did not survive, I remember her for being such a strong woman despite her rapidly deteriorating condition. Even though she was enduring so much physical pain and emotional turmoil, she remained strong to console her loved ones. Many of her friends would visit and start crying just looking at her. :( I'm glad that TK stayed strong, though...and saved the tears for after the visit...or for when we talked about her. =P I can't imagine how hard it must've been for both of them. Although I never met her, I felt like I knew the her through stories, updates, and pictures. I cried when TK called to tell me Stacey passed. :(

I'm always happy to hear people getting involved and organizations doing special things like donating a portion of their proceeds. Which is what Panera is doing until the end of this month. I have to agree with Ms. NB that this is a delicious bakery! Today was my first time having it, but I may have to stop by the LAX location the next time I'm picking up/dropping somebody off!

Look! The bagels are made especially for breast cancer awareness! They're in the shape of a ribbon, and they used "pink" fruits (sorta. Like cranberries and cherries).

Seriously, they beat chocolate chip bagels (which is what I asked Ms. NB when she arrived).

Anywho, I'm just on a blogging tangent b/c I don't want to work on clinic stuff. I was feeling all amped up, but when I got home and read 2T's comments to my session evals, I just lost all motivation. :(

It has seriously been a rough week/quarter. I know it's not just me, either. Even my co-TA classmate said this quarter's just crazy. Even K3 is having an insane week. When these girls say it's rough, then I KNOW that I'm not exaggerating when I say this week/quarter has been/is mofo'in krayze. Look, I've even lost the ability to spell!

Oh, the last bit of good news for the day:

• 1) I co-"won" a silly competition in class today where we had to duplicate a tribal design. I have to brag b/c I am incredibly unartistic! Can't draw for the life of me! The co-winner is my literally little classmate. I saw hers and was blown away! Our "judge," Lil C's mommy, put both Little K and I at 1 standard deviation above the mean, but seriously? Little K should have been at least 2 SD's above the mean...if not 3! I don't think many people know this, but this girl can draw. We all know that she is a genius in a 60 pound body (she is also the youngest of our cohort). But last quarter, she drew some amazing cards for clinic. Seriously, this girl is amazing. She's gotta be an alien. I mean, how can one person be so good at everything? Hm, 'alien' doesn't sound very nice. She is supernatural. In a good way. She's so sweet, too, so you can't hate on her, either!
  
• 2) I finally got approved for financial aid! I've been without since March!!

Closer to Saturday Noon

The significance of Saturday noon is that by then, all the craziness will be temporarily over.
I am taking a moment to kickback b/c I just miraculously finished both of my task analyses (thx BSILF for helping me w/ Goal #3 and objectives for Miracle!) and both Lesson Plans for Friday.

Re-cap of school-related accomplishments since last Friday night:

Drafted one initial status report (ISR) (sans goals and objectives)

Wrote majority of Diagnostic Plan for next client (scheduled for next Tuesday)


Read/skimmed 3 journal articles

Wrote 2 papers critiquing/comparing/analyzing/etc. for the above 3

Skimmed 5 Continuing Education articles and answered 5 mini-quizzes to turn in


Created two lame lesson plans for Tuesday's sessions


Composed two lame session evaluations for Tuesday's sessions

Summarized 10 pages of text to contribute to group-effort study guide for Thursday's midterm

Completed both Task Analyses

Completed both of Friday's Lesson Plans

What's left?

1. Cramming for Thursday's midterm
2. Preparing materials for Friday's sessions
3. Writing session evals for Friday's sessions
4. Drafting second ISR
5. Mini-AAC project due Tuesday
6. AAC class take-home midterm (will be posted over the weekend)
7. Visit Dad (not school-related, but on my list of things to do. :)

Oh, and catch up on sleep somehow. The good news is that I'm back to not wanting to drop out of the program. I'll give another status report tomorrow, though...

Christmas wish-list: anti-wrinkle eye cream and unlimited amount on a Starbucks gift card (that is totally wishful thinking!).

Holiday season

For the first time in my (grad) school history, I joked that I wanted to quit and drop out today. I'm not serious, but I did realize that this was the first time I actually joked it. It's just that from here until Saturday noon is just insanity. (And again, here I am wasting my time blogging!)

I'm almost done with one of my Task Analyses, but I had to stop and blog about Sarah McLachlan, one of my fave music artists. She just released a new CD, "Wintersong." I wanted a sneak preview of not just a 10-second audio clip, so I was thrilled when I got a free download of one of her songs off of MySpace Music. The first few notes of "The First Noel/Mary Mary (vocals)" gave me chills! I love Christmas music and I love her music. Great combo.

Next, I have to admit that nerdy me subscribes to her newsletters. Well, I huffed and puffed b/c "Mirrorball" is newly remastered! Huffed b/c I have the "old skool," undigitally remastered version. Yet I'm excited b/c I'm imagining it'll sound even more awesome. That is my all-time fave CD!

Okay, the end.

P.S. BF rocks! He cleaned Lil F's tank since I've been stressing about not having time to do it. I even had a dream this AM that her tank was filthy to the point that there was a little fish graveyard in a corner, and I was all shocked that she hadn't eaten them. But it was b/c she, too, knew that her home was filthy. Anywho, Lil F and I are very grateful. :)

Antibacterial Gel

So every one of my classmates that I chatted/e-mailed with this past weekend had a crappily busy weekend, as did I. I've been running on fumes so much that I go to sleep (more like a nap) w/ a headache and wake up with one. Not only that but I swear I was going to throw-up on my commute this morning. Seriously, I was sooOOOoOo sick that I didn't think I'd make it through the day.

This past weekend consisted of nothing but schoolwork, little sleep, and going to Island's for a yummy, cholesterol-laden lunch (where our waitress complimented my uber-cool sea turtle pendant!). I'm still on a mofo'in time crunch, like my colleagues (as I waste some time blogging).

My bedtime has been on average 5 AM, but I managed to go to sleep around 3 since I had to wake up at 6. Tuesdays are my insane day, especially when there's Dx evals. I have to drive in traffic to get to school before 8:30 (at least I get to listen to Kevin and Bean). Be in clinic from 8:30 - 12. Agonize over meeting with clinic supervisor and prep for clinic from 12 - 3. Meet w/ her from 3 - 4. Meet w/ clients 4 - 6. Class 6 - 9 PM. Get home ~ 9:45.

A re-cap of my day? I was sooOOOoo nauseous. Fortunately, I got to school 20 minutes early so I huddled fetus-position-style in my car and prayed that I'd feel better. Thank God I did. (I noticed, too, that I got a second ding on the passenger's side! Argh!) Our Dx went really well, and I picked up a few tips from my colleague. My Dx Supervisor also called me "cute" for making retarded faces with the adorable kiddo during the oral-mech exam. I seem to be pretty proficient at making retarded faces. :D

The three hours of agonizing over my meeting was just that -- agonizing. In that time, I figured out exactly what I'd say to my supervisor. When it was finally my turn, I immediately fessed u -- I misunderstood her e-mail and didn't have my Task Analyses (a.k.a. "list of only goals and objectives") ready. She was so cool that I was totally floored! She even helped me work out my goal and objectives for Miracle! When my meeting time was up, I told her, "Thank you, that was really helpful!" That was said in both honesty and some kissing-up.

Then before I met Miracle, I received news that the Riddler cancelled. I was so relieved that I hugged the messenger. Miracle's session was alright, although she really pulled 2 on me (double entendre). Halfway through the session, she said she really had to go to the bathroom and winced in pain. Fine, no problem. Well, she was taking forever so I did the proper thing of opening the door a crack and asking if she was okay. Yes, she was. Then I waited outside again. I heard the flush and then the door immediately opened. Suspicious, I asked her, "Did you wash your hands?" "Yes." "Are you suuuuurrreee??" "Yes." "Okay." I was careful about not touching her hands... =P

When the session ended, I walked her and her dad out and stopped by the front desk. Who shows up? The Riddler and his other sister who asked me all these questions I wasn't prepared for (IDK enough re: Regional Centers and District policies about providing early intervention evals and services). I felt bad about that, especially since my Dx supervisor is constantly reminding us about what a shame it is that so many parents get the run-around in these types of situations. :( Hopefully, I'll know more by Friday, since our School and Public Policy midterm is on Thursday night.

Session with the Riddler was aiite. When he settled down, I casually asked him, "So, what's new?" I should know by now that he always gives me unexpected answers. Of course I expected a "nothing." Instead, he said, "I got new baseball cards!!" LOL So I had to pretend I knew something about baseball. The convo went as far as who he hopes will win the World Series (Mets) since the Dodgers are outta commission.

Class ~ I swear I was eating the whole time to stay awake. I also stared at BSILF's shirt (she was self-conscious about whether it was cute or not. I thought she was cute for asking. The shirt is cute, too). Lastly, I applied a serious amount of antibacterial gel. That is one thing that just about all of us use like an OCD person. I wonder if Costco sells a mofo'in "giganto" size. (The Riddler said "giganto" the either day. Oh, and Miracle called a little cartoon Asian girl "China girl" today, too. Ha! :)

In closing, some random accomplishments and news:

• I actually finished a Chapstick!
  
• I am an honored recipient of a $500 scholarship!! :D Two of my other wonderful colleagues, including BSILF, are also proud recipients!! Congrats to us!
• Late great news -- Congrats to FCIL/Kuya Roscoe! He is a featured artist on MySpace!

Time to work on my second session eval. Call me a loser tonight.

Special Guest Presentation: Session Evaluation Haiku

Guest post!
In response to last night's post, I received a lovely haiku from my fave clinic partner! She is also my favorite Haiku writer. :D

Loser or genius?
Session evaluations
Could go either way

Evaluating Session Evaluations

I just got home and BF asked, "How was school today?"
"It sucked...but at least I didn't get in trouble."

Now, the challenge is keeping myself out of trouble when I write my session evals. If I was a haiku-writer, I'd write one right now.

I have a love-hate relationship with session evals. When I had to evaluate session evaluations a few quarters ago, I honestly wrote that I love them and hate them. I love them because I learn a lot about myself as a clinician (since I am forced to critique myself). If I didn't have to do evals, I wouldn't realize where I went wrong, why goals weren't being met, what I could do better, what I realy do know, how I'm actually growing as a clinician, etc.

I hate them b/c it's the same questions for both clients every two days. What went right? What went wrong? What did you learn about yourself? Compliment yourself. Expose your weakness.

It's like being on an interview. You have to carefully word everything. You have to pretend you're being completely honest, but you're not really because you don't want to make yourself look like a total loser nor an egomaniac. Or an egotistical loser.

Another thing that bugs is when I get stumped on the same stupid question so I skip it, fill out the rest, think I'm done, scroll up, realize that I still have that darn stupid question to fill out.

I am currently stuck on, "What had you hoped would happen in therapy?" Followed by, "How did it turn out?"...for both clients' session evals!

I hoped time would pass faster because I didn't have enough activities b/c we did not discuss these quarter-long goals and activities until 40 minutes before my sessions began.

It turned out okay because I stretched two activities out long enough.

Like I said to BF when I walked in through the door, at least I didn't get in trouble. My session with Miracle was a bust, but I think my supervisor was too busy with the other sessions going on because all she commented was that Miracle was so lethargic the whole session, except during breaks. In my defense, Miracle was really sick (poor angel didn't go to school today). Seriously, her comments could've been like 10 times worse b/c my activities for her totally bombed.

I can't believe 3rd week is over. I've been so busy yet I've gotten nothing done. It's not like I've been spending all my time blogging either. The saddest part about this week is that I haven't taken my turtle out even once to play. She's asleep now. The greatest thing about my turtle is that she has unconditional love for me. Even though I haven't spent as much time with her this week, she is understanding and still loves me no matter what. BF took a few pixs of Lil F and sent them to me yesterday morning to give me a smile. This one is currently on my desktop.

The best times of this week happened on Wednesday and Thursday. On Wednesday, BF and I went to Cheesecake Factory for a pleasant lunch. The Marina was so clear and gorgeous! Lunch was delicious, too, as usual. For once, I didn't get the Bistro Shrimp pasta, too. =O On Thursday, I finally made it to a SOCK Par-tay! Unfortunately, I was really, really dazed, but I remember having a really fun time just relaxing with the ladies. :) The best story told was about FDC buying a busted scantron machine from ebay.

The best part about today was the rain. I love rain! The bumming part is that it stopped. The good part is that I didn't hit traffic caused by rain or rain-caused accidents.

Back to the session evals... :(

3rd Week

This late night stuff is seriously cramping my style. Tonight, when I got home, I didn't waste any time. For reals. I didn't surf the internet for like 3 hours or watch TV. I ate, washed dishes, and started right away on clinic stuff. Okay, so I responded to a few e-mails, but it was all school-related. Still, I didn't finish my clinic stuff for tonight until about 10 minutes ago.

I spent a while analyzing the Riddler's results. I'm like at square 1.5 now that I've analyzed my own results (rather than previous ones), but I really don't want to think about that any more since I spent all night looking over every response and dissecting it.

What cracked me up about today were a few things:

1) My "warm-blooded" Miracle was actually cold today so I lent her my pea coat (b/c I was "smart" enough to wear a tank top under my thick turtleneck and nylons under my wool pants). Although maintenance fixed the heater in the clinic, it was only on in the Control Room and for like 3 hours in the morning. By noon, all the rooms were like 50 degrees again.
2) I totally worked my kids today, and they were such good sports.
3) I can't really see the pictures that are shown to the kids as I read the test items on the other side of the booklet (it's propped up on the table). At one point, Miracle says, "Hey, he looks like you." I'm like, "What? Lemme see." So I peered over to her side and almost LMAO. There was a cartoon picture of a boy...with slanted eyes. I seriously said, "Um, yes, he does look like me." Then she ever so sweetly and innocently said, "Because you're china." ("china" said in Spanish.) I just thought that was really cute and hilarious. (I wonder how you say Taiwanese in Spanish?)
4) I made the Riddler chew his beef jerky really quickly during testing. I felt kind of bad about that, but he happened to take a bite right when we were about to begin testing expressive language...meaning he'll be required to talk. I really didn't want to have to comment on that in my stupid session evaluations so I politely requested that he chew fast. He chewed so fast that I said in shock, "Wow, you ate that fast! Um, thanks for chewing that really fast!" How much more lame can my compliments be?
5) Although we were out of time, I quickly examined the Riddler's velum as if I knew what the heck I was doing. Apparently, I have a knack for looking like I know what I'm doing on the observational camera. What a great skill to have. It would've gone faster except that we both kept cracking up. Again, he tried to be a good sport when I told him to open his mouth and stick his tongue out. Since he couldn't, I had to use a tongue depressor and model for him what I wanted him to do. So as I stuck the tongue depressor in his mouth (and peered at his velum as he phonated /a/), he was staring at me sticking my tongue out. That must've been so attractive. I'm so glad I'm not in a room with an observation hall!!
6) People actually recognize me from Monday's meeting and are introducing themselves. I don't know why that's really funny to me, but it is. I also received an e-mail from one lady who thinks I'm in her undergrad class. I have no clue how she is confusing me with someone else but I am curious to know who she is confusing me for.

In closing, I figured out the best/only reasons for having clinic the (unholy) day and time I do:
1) No undergrad & post-bacc observers to laugh at me!
2) No first year grads critiquing my sessions for Advanced Diagnostics!
3) No clinical assistants to worry about! (Sorry, K3! I know if I was a CA, I'd wanna be yours, though. ;)

Random/Late Mortification: Hoes

Around 5 this morning, when I was delirious from lack of sleep and stress, I found something on my bookshelf that completely took my mind off of schoolwork...and timewarped me back a decade ago. I found additional Mortified "treats" in my room! I completely forgot about these (and I can't believe I have them just chillin' on my bookshelf!).

So here's a treat since I'm also behind in Mortified contributions~

Background: In addition to writing patterned notes to my HS GFs, I exchanged note-books with my GFs, too. One of them was with my GF from church.

January 13, 1996~
Gramma's house. I think I had a pretty bad...Hi [Church GF]! Seriously, I do like this book cuz it's juicy. As I was saying, I had a pretty bad case of PMS yesterday. [Bro] kinda got me upset cuz he was kinda upset in general (cuz he worked 4m 12 A.M. to 6 A.M. on his b-day and then went 2 classes, so he got no sleep) so his upsetness rubbed off on me. I hafto admit I was pretty anal. Yikes, huh? Like [our moody best homeboy] @ times! Ooh! That was mean. [Our moody best homeboy]'s cool. He offers to bring me home. He uses my Les Mis book. He's cool, tho. Ok, here's something to catch your attention but promise you won't laugh or remark smartly:

In the locker room on a bathroom door it says

J-- H--
IS A HOE
And so is
J---y W---

[to the side somebody else wrote: DON'T YOU AGREE? I tried to type it in but Blogger keeps jackin' it up!]

It's a bad reproduction, but you get the point. Jac saw it and told me so the next day (Tues or Wed) I took the liberty of scrubbing off the J-- H-- part w/ the soap provided in the bathroom. The soap that scrubs your skin off. She doesn't know about it and hopefully it'll stay that way. For quite a while, I've been trying to figure out if I truly consider her a friend. After all, she considers me one. So I guess God thought it was about time I prove myself her friend and help her save her tears for something else. Y'know what I mean? 4m there on, I'm trying my best ot accept her; we all have our faults. Getting a little philosophical here. By the way, I also felt groggy yesterday cuz my eyes were itching like crazy cuz of minor allergies. I like Bev's writing. You can tell the serious part is over, now.

1/20:
Hey! Winter Formal coming up. Want to but won't (most likely). Kinda want to. J-- really wants to but NO date. Heh, heh. Wanna go? I'm not planning to but it'd be fun, possibly, if WE went for the heck of it. Yeah. Scott Wolf on cover of YM 1/9. Yeah baby! I'll call ya during the week...bye, bye! :) Take care & luv ya!

Okay, so you have to understand a lot of things here, but I'll comment and explain in "chronological" order.

1. How insensitive of me to not care about my bro and his b-day!! I must've been PMSing really bad. My bro had it pretty hard ever since he was little (and had to watch over spoiled, bratty younger sister). Beginning age 15, my bro would (illegally) drive back & forth from SM and Ontario to cover front desk shifts for our family-runned hotel. In college, they still called him to drive from UCLA to Ontario, whenever a moron flaked for work. What a horrible 19th b-day that must've been for my bro!! (And if had kept a journal, I bet he'd have a great angsty Mortified contribution, too.) Eleven years late, but I'm sorry, Guh. :(
2. I wish I could scan my "bad reproduction" of the tag piece on the bathroom wall of the girl's locker room. But then I'd give away who the 2 girls are. (No worries, "HOE" #1 doesn't read my blog. At least to my knowledge.) HOE #1 was a girl from HS and church that I loved and hated. I loved her b/c she was a good friend. I hated her b/c she was always ruining my game! If she knew who I had a crush on, she'd flirt shamelessly with him. It happened a few times. Insecure me hated the "competition" b/c she was really pretty.
   
3. The funny part about the tag piece is the addition of "HOE" #2's name.
   
4. The craziest is the "don't you agree?" question. It was written in between the 2 accusations so you can't tell if the person is asking you to agree whether Hoe #1 or Hoe #2 is a ho or both.
5. I hated the soap they provided in the school. Seriously. It was very coarse, pink powder that didn't dissolve nor wash any grease off unless you kept rubbing until your hands turned raw.
6. So since I only saw church GF once a week, we often wrote in this note-book like it was a journal. Hence, my 3 entries in a row.
7. Aside from my huge crush on Leonardo DiCaprio, my even huger crush was Scott Wolf (when he entered primetime TV via "Party of Five"). Heck, I still have a crush on Scott Wolf. Not on LDC.

P.S. I slept at 6:30 A.M. Again, I seriously thought this quarter would be easier. BF asked me, so when does school get easier for you? I thought about it and said, um, probably never. Next quarter we have school placements during the day and class at night. Classmate told me that previous Department Chair was gonna place her in Torrance!! No way I want to drive the 405 in morning traffic!
P.P.S. Bro's in NYC and him and his boss-man are gonna be on ESPN 2 at 4:45 P.M. PST! :D

That was kinda fun

Second day of clinic was alright...except that it was fricken freezing! It was seriously like 60 degrees in the room.

Poor Riddler was freezing the moment he sat down so I lent him my scarf. During the session, my supervisor came in to observe him (as planned). I guess he was really uncomfortable with her b/c she'd stare at him and then at me and sometimes there'd be silence between the three of us. When I put 3 books on the table, my supervisor was staring at him again so he looked her dead in the eye and said, "I think we should read these books now."

I was LMAO! Actually, supervisor laughed too (and then quickly admin'd an informal oral-mech exam). After she left and we finished the session, I told him it was time to go. He got up and said, "that was kinda fun." I have no clue what was fun about yesterday.

After clinic, I stopped by BGF's house for dinner. Actually, on my way there, I called and spoke with her hubby since she was in the shower. I told him I'd be there in 20 mins but I just had to stop by Costco to get gas; did they need anything? Hubby said, no, actually, BGF got really mad at me today b/c I spent a LOT at Costco today. But I was so hungry! Don't ever shop when you're starving!

When I got there, both of their dogs came to greet me (they just got another Westie not too long ago). I am really happy for them and their doggies b/c both doggies were rescued from the Humane Society, and both are well loved and very happy now (first one used to be abused; second one is soOOOOooo emaciated and has a little skin problem but is getting better). Her hubby prepared a very fancy meal for us, and it was delicious! They are soOOOoooOo silly and funny. Since BGF got mad at hubby for spending an insane amount of money at Costco, his punishment was to cook us dinner (with the fresh Costco foods). Secretly, though, she made him cook b/c she didn't want me to eat her cooking! What a crazy woman. She's been "learning" to cook for like 3 years now. I know she can cook by now but she's just too embarrassed b/c she thinks I can cook. Of course my BF would probably laugh if he heard/read that.

We kicked back for a little bit but I prolly overstayed my welcome b/c both GF and I were exhausted (she has VERY long days). I woulda stayed longer but around 9:30, I realized that I still had a long 50 mile drive back to Gramma's. That wasn't the worst part. The worst was that when I got home, I'd have to write my two session evaluations before I went to sleep. Before the session evaluations, I had to watch my painful videos.

When I got home and moved all my crap into the house, I was quite excited to catch a glimpse of what BGF and hubby gave me for my b-day. A Starbucks gift basket. Seriously, I cannot believe how giddy I get over receiving Starbucks anything. It's ridiculous. Thanks BGF and hubby!

When I finally settled down to begin working, I got an e-mail from Riddler's sister asking procedural stuff. At the end, she wrote: Thanks for all your help!....by the way, my brother thinks you're very nice.

:) I am very nice. :)

What week is it?

This week has been crazy for me. I don't recall ever having taken a vacation since I started school two years ago. And now I know why.

I can't get back on track for the life of me! I've already lost track of which week it is. Not to mention, the feeling I have this week is the same overwhelming feeling of stress and anxiety I experienced the very first few weeks as a first year graduate student a year ago. It's just been insanely busy for me.

I had my first day of clinic on Tuesday and that went better than I expected my supervisor to think. First sessions are always nervewracking for me. Fortunately, my nerves don't show on camera (according to past and current supervisors). Me and my big mouth wrote on my session evaluation that I was nervous but was glad that the session went well, so my supervisor would like to discuss with me tmrw about getting rid of jitters caused by unpredictable situations.

My first session went without incident, except that my little Miracle took me for a ride. And I totally let her. My classmate had her last quarter and this little trickster always used a potty-break as an excuse to get out. Since I was having first day jitters and time wasn't passing by fast enough, I faked a, "Are you sure you really have to go now?" "Yes." "Okay, let's go." But unbeknownst to her, I'm totally onto her so I'm gonna have to lay some rules down next week.

My second kiddo, a.k.a. the Riddler from hereonforth, has got me literally losing sleep over him. Hence, his nickname. He is such an E. Nygma to me! I didn't sleep until 6 AM this morning b/c I was researching and analyzing stuff. Actually, around midnight, I received a life-saving e-mail from my fave clinic partner, who totally helped me brainstorm about possible Dxs. I got 3 hours of sleep which doesn't do me a whole lot of good. As I got ready for school, I totally knocked over my make-up box and about 10 items fell into the john! :( Fortunately, none were favorites, expensive, nor most frequently used. Actually, I lost a Chanel lipstick, but I didn't wear it much anyways. When I told BF, he genuinely said, "Aw, I'm sorry," rather than, "I told you you're clumsy!" I nonchalantly said, "That's ok." So nonchalant that I even surprised myself. My rationization is that my make-up box needed a clean-up anyways.

Anywho, the Riddler had me frequently cracking up during the session. I had to collect a speech/language sample so I had him describe pictures. Mind you, I have never read this book so I had no clue what the story was about nor what to expect each time he flipped a page.

For this black and white picture, he said, "Someone's coming out, holding a basket of bread."

Then he flipped the page and saw the colored picture. Without hesitation, the Riddler said, "but really? They're chickens."

HAHA! Well, maybe you had to be there to find it funny. When I re-enacted it to my fellow clinicians and Uncles Bren, they got a good laugh. Heck, I'm still laughing about it.

Anywho, I have some bumming news. I got my first "W." I dropped my intro to piano class. :( It was a sad decision but there were too many factors not in my favor (or maybe I just have bad time management skills). The good news that came out of my withdrawal process is Dr. F confirming that W's are fine on the transcript (as long as I don't have many), they are speaking to the Financial Aid office about my not receiving loans since Winter quarter (!!), and she will complete my graudate assistantship application by writing a letter of recommendation for me.

Actually, I will complete the process by bringing my social security card to an admin office for "security" purposes and verification. I hope they don't laugh; my SS card has my seven year-old signature...when ending my amateur cursive signature with a heart was really cute two decades ago. The alternative is to bring my passport. Unfortunately, I have no clue where that is. Normally, Gramma holds onto it for me. When I asked about it a few weeks ago, both Dad and Gramma have no clue where it is. Shoot.

Happy news #1: BSILF surprised me with a birthday gift today! I couldn't be happier about what she gave me! A beautiful book about sea turtles! Thank you BSILF! Hm, I wonder if I can incorporate it into my clinic sessions (so I can get some leisure reading time in -- muhahaha). You know, target auditory comprehension or something. ;)

Happy news #2: I also received a beautiful light blue shawl from our resident COMD baker! It is fabulous!

Other news: I'm finally caught up with my post-posts about Vegas! I also added pictures to my Vegas posts! :D (Photo challenge: see if you can make out the sea turtle pictures.) Imagine what I'd do if I really owned a digicam!

Best Birthday Ever

I've had such an awesome birthday and I don't want it to end!

I'm still trying to re-cap all the events that kicked off my birthday week (I've been cheating on my past blog posts) but I wanted to capture this one in "real" time.

My "real" birthday consisted of BF waking me up at 12:01 A.M. to be the first to wish me a happy birthday. Then Mom gave me a wake-up call (which was good b/c I was supposed to stay up last night to work on my first Lesson Plans but I was sooOOO doggone exhausted that I fell asleep around 10:30 P.M.). Most of my day was spent on schoolwork and related stuff...and then another nap. Unfortunately, I missed my birthday call from Dad b/c I was napping!

Around 6, Bro and FBIL picked BF & I up to have happy hour and dinner at Chaya Venice. That was fabulous! We had sushi and cocktails for happy hour and then we walked a few steps over to our 7 PM rsvp seats. For dinner, I had the paella with mixed seafood and Maine lobster b/c, as these guys know, whenever there is a chance for me to get a seafood medley, I will get it! BF had the lobster ravioli, Bro had the sea bass, and FBIL had the pork chop; all were delicious! Well, sans the pork chop...that was okay. ;) It was just funny to me b/c FBIL was deciding b/t the steak and the pork chop and opted for the latter. I thought to myself that that was an interesting choice b/c I can't ever remember anyone ordering pork chop at a nice restaurant. Turns out he was just trying to be "adventurous" and it totally backfired. Heehee. :) My paella was heavenly.

For dessert, I had the Banana Banana Banana. I'm not like crazy for banana desserts, but the chocolate covered banana and banana tart (representing the first and third "Banana") really sold it for me. I don't think I've ever had a chocolate-covered banana, and I love fruit tarts so those two items topped with ice-cream? What more could I ask for!

At the end of dinner, Bro & FBIL gave me a gift card. It made me smile b/c on the envelope, it said, "Love, Guh & FBIL" (=O I have identified 2 secret blog-readers! Or, I mean, they revealed themselves). All the talk about spas in Vegas and my future facial regime for when I'm a money-making machine again (pennies or dollars, I'll be making some money) got them thinking that I'd appreciate a package now. :) And I sure do! I got 4 visits to Peponi! I will definitely be blogging about each visit. :)

After Bro and FBIL dropped us off, BF & I headed out to Hollywood Videos real quick (where I got "Akeelah & the Bee" as part of the 3/$25 deal) and then we went to Albertson's where BF went crazy buying me ice-cream b/c it's my birthday! As if I wasn't full enough and still dreaming about Banana Banana Banana, I chose Breyer's Oreos, Breyer's Twix, and plain and neapolitan ice-cream sandwiches, while BF found sugar cones for me. He looked for waffle cones but didn't see any (waffle cones are my fave). When I told him that I love sugar cones, he was surprised. I told him that he shouldn't be surprised; sugar cones are the same things as waffle cones, only the waffle cones are bigger. At least that's what I thought.

Then I paused and said, "I guess I love waffle cones b/c they hold twice as much ice-cream." :D

So I love ice-cream. Everyone knows that. :)

Each birthday gets better and better. I was feeling a bit blue about turning another year but just feeling all the love makes me want to have a birthday everyday. :) I received quite a few birthday shout-outs via e-mail, voicemails, MySpace Messages, e-cards, and blog posts! Thanks to my family and friends!

What happens in Vegas

Doesn't necessarily stay in Vegas.

Our last day in Vegas was bittersweet. We woke up around 9 and had breakfast at the Grand Cafe in Red Rock, where I had the best veggie omelette and hash browns. BF and Mom were eager to hit the slots so we gambled on penny slots until literally the last minute.

BF and I slot-machine-hopped. He was particularly lucky, hitting on every machine he got on. He was doing pretty well on the MIB machine, when he cashed out about $100. Some old lurker sat down and about 20 minutes later, that dude hit a huge bonus and won $250!! I held my breath about how that coulda been BF. Later, later, BF reclaimed the machine and was doing just fine. I was playing a monkey machine (BF thinks that I do better on animal-related slots) and down $5 since I sat down when he called my name really loud.

BF hit an even huger bonus of $340 on the same machine!! I went to get his Mom and when we got back, he was playing another bonus round. BF's Dad was supposed to pick us up at 2 to be safe, but at 2:15ish, BF hit another bonus and just couldn't get away. Mom practically pulled him away kicking and screaming at 2:32 so that we wouldn't miss our flight.

At the airport, I got a tiny bout of claustrophobia as we waited in dense lines to pass through security. Once we got through, it was all good. We trammed it to the other side of the airport. We had about 10 minutes to spare before we had to arrive at our gate so as BF hit the claustrophobia-inducing smoking lounge, I sprinted to the nearest gift store. I found my post-card winner (finally)! One that had 4 scenes of Vegas. :) I think BF was really happy for me that I finally found a post card b/c he was smiling, too. The nerd that I am had "drafted" a little message for Grama Dub, but I only got to write half of it, since I was pressed for time and post-card space. Luckily, there was a mail drop a few yards away so I slapped on 40 cents for good measure and dropped it off. Who knew that my post-card quest would end at the airport, literally minutes before I boarded the plane? I hope Grama Dub receives it. :)

Bro and FBIL picked us up from LAX and we had a grand time swapping juicy details about each other's weekends. (We missed FBIL's Mommy's huge 60th birthday bash, but we sent her a scrapbook starter kit as a gift.) Uncles Bren filled us in on how their niece, Lil F, was while Mommy and Daddy were away. She was a good girl.

As our Vegas saga comes to a bittersweet end, I close with an extremely happy thought. It was soOOoooOOoo wonderful and exhilirating to see FILs so content with retirement. In less than two months, they've found their niche. They have regular social outings. FFIL is on a bowling team. They have visiting family and friends just about every week. They go on dates!! My bro summed it up best when he commented, "It's like they're on their second honeymoon." And it's true. They're happily living their lives together in the happy retired state that we dream of. :) Cheers to FILs!