Human roadkill

Today was a record. I almost got ran over twice!! The first time was during lunch when I was heading to the mall, and a crazy taxi driver hooked a quick right and almost made 6 of us human roadkill. Some disgruntled man yelled, "hey!" I'm sure if the taxi driver had heard, he prolly woulda just given us the birdie*.

*During Christmas, I discovered how antiquated my slang is. Apparently (which is my special cousin's favorite word), to "give the birdie" in this millenium means to offer to pour your drink into the receiver's mouth, without the drink touching the person's mouth/lips. I guess that's better than flicking somebody off. Actually, both may mean you just don't like that person and/or don't want them near you anyways. So yes, maybe the old meaning did kinda get handed down. Sort of.

Anyways, the 2nd time was after work, when I was waiting to cross west on 5th. A well-dressed White woman driving her white Jaguar careened to the right-most lane on one of downtown's many one-way streets. Well, she wanted to make a right/head north on Flower. A few of us were standing on the corner. As she started inching fwd, and it was almost time for us to cross, I heroically leapt to her passenger window and tried to tell her, Flower's a one way street! Well, she musta got scared seeing a Taiwanese girl b/c she jammed on her accelerator and almost ran me and a few Hispanics over. How racist! Jk...She was really gassing her car up Flower, so thank God there were no cars on the far East 2 lanes. She was about a quarter down the block when a cop that was heading South blew his horns and flipped his lights and siren, and they both disappeared into the J-2/Arco Parking. See? I was just trying to be nice, but she automatically assumed that I was out to key her Jaguar and jack her Jaguar hood ornament. Eh, jk.

I have to admit, I probably have the same mentality as that White woman; you just go on your own way from Point A to Point B and ignore all distractions and obstacles. Don't look to your left or right (unless you suspect someone is following you), and you move as fast as you can b/c Lord knows who's out to harass you. It's kinda like that arcade game "Frogger." Sometimes you walk faster to catch up w/ a crowd, sometimes you walk snail-pace to let a weirdo harass the person(s) ahead of you. A lot of time, I even cross towards the Library before heading to Arco Towers, just to avoid the creepy messenger bikers that congregate downstairs of Carl's Jr. They love to sit there and cat-call at ladies that pass. It's a shame that I don't feel safe at the busiest time of the day in Downtown (lunch-time), unless I have either my pepper spray** or Spyderco in my hand.

**If you go to their site, do you see how scared the shady person looks? Lemme vouch, this stuff works, dude! Last year, I accidentally sprayed it on myself just below my heinie on the right-side in a school hallway. About 20 of us were like tearing up and coughing and had no idea why. The subsequent days, I had a sore right below my right-side heinie and a weird yellow spot on my jeans. About 2 weeks later, I had the very late realization that I had set it off b/c I often hang my keys and pepper spray on a beanie on my jeans. Um, I have yet to confess to those 20 classmates that it was retarded me. I can't believe they let someone like me into a Masters program. I can't even safeguard myself from my own pepper spray!

That was just about as exciting as my day got. Well, except for clarifying w/ the 1.0 BF that we are not engaged (yet). Rather, we promise to get engaged one day. :) I have to admit, that brought about a sense of relief. Which prompted me to question whether I really am ready.

I've always known the answer at any given point, though. I know I'm ready with him. I'm NOT ready w/ the family, though. Which brings me to the next topic at hand: law school cousin and I plan to get our family on board with our own group blog.

Let's get it going, Jen!

P.S. to Jen: I was actually googling "give the birdie" + "slang" and came up with this random site. Check it out, I think you'll get a real kick out of it. The scary thing is that I was translating the first few ones in my head and telling myself: by golly, they're right! =X