P.S. Mortification MIA

For those of you (the 2) who actually look forward to my weekly Mortified entries, I'm just giving you a heads up that K3 and I are foregoing our entry for next week.

Think of it as a longer moment of silence as I ask you to join me in remembering Mr. Moises Rivas and the remaining 2,995 victims of 9/11. Thanks.

RAoK: Rent 1 Get 1 Free

"Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty" ~ Anne Herbert

When writing the mantra post, I decided I'd blog about random acts of kindness that people commit. Today, somebody committed a random act of kindness* in my favor. It's kinda cheesy, but I totally appreciated it.

*Did you know that there's actually an acronym for "random act of kindness"? RAoK.

I went to the video store to return some DVDs and rent some X-Box games for the BF. I had no clue how pricey it is renting games. After narrowing it down to 3, I proceeded to the register. Homeboy was taking forever and a day finding the games, putting them in the display boxes, ringing me up, etc. Then he looked up at me and said, "I have a coupon here for 'rent 1, get 1 free.'" and he scanned it. I was really taken aback by his generous act. Of course I instantly felt guilty about whining in my head about how homeboy was taking forever to complete the transaction.

Wasn't that nice? Especially for someone who LOVES to use coupons. (How did he know?? JK)

I know, I know; it's natural for people to rationalize, "So what? It didn't cost him a penny." Bottom line is that he didn't have to do it, but he did, and I really appreciated it and it made me really happy. That's what makes it a RAoK (i.e., "selfless act performed by kind people to either help or cheer up a random stranger, for no reason other than to make people happier.")

If I go out tomorrow, I'm totally paying it forward. :)

C & K: Mortified Tuesday Column: woe is the ditzy girl who sat alone in the dark

I can't imagine (secret) blog-readers actually looking forward to me getting mortified on Tuesdays, but I received a lovely e-mail last night from pre-med cousin that said, "i gotta admit, your motified tues/mondays make me happy =). hahaha." I can't tell if the "hahaha" at the end was a good one or a spiteful one at my expense.

JK! Here's another boy-crazed one. It was either a day or two after graduation/grad nite...

June 15, 1997~

Life after grad is no diff. except that I miss people. I'm going away from SM w/ all these last minute infatuations and crushes. Above all, I LOVE ZK! I think my infatuation with JP was further encouraged by Cindy. And dinner w/ Mr. Hartman and his brother was fun. John was so cute cuz he's so childlike. It was interesting cuz he kept on insisting on knowing what Cindy and I were doing 4 summer. But my infatuation with ZK, Jr. graduated to a crush, I suppose. He was actually shy around me when I wanted to take a pix w/ him. He and MHS didn't even come to my grad. ZK is so cute. For a few min on our last day of school, I actually thought I had his attention. At grad nite, I hugged CL, twice. It bothers me how if I spend a time period only w/ him, I easily get infatuated w/ him. Becuz he is so cute to me. And he really makes me laugh. Him and JR were the only people I hugged twice that day. I gave CL good hugs. JR wanted to hug me. It was weird hugging JR. felt kinda good. I only slow danced to once song (w/ Johnny). The last song, I had such an incredible urge to pull CL along to dance w/ me. I didn't. I just sat in the dark. I didn't even dance w/ SN. I went w/ Joy to BR, again and talked to Melvin a few times that evening. I wonder if [XBF] will really come out to Rancho (or arrange for a ride) to pick me up. There was an odd moment between us at post-grad. I didn't get to let ZK know that I love him. Sniff, sniff. He ended his yrbk note for me w/ a "<3"> [heart]. How sweet. And JC: he really disappointed me. He should've been with us to graduate. So? Rama and David, too. JL & ML wrote the sweetest notes to me. I'll mis people like J & M for their humor, CL for the charm, Sophomre boys for personality... What'll people miss me for? Have I truly left my mark in people? This is only the beginning of the big life. Heehee: who will I love next?

You know I can't resist justifications, explanations, and self-commentaries:

• Yes, I had the hugest, dorkiest crush on ZK. No kidding it was an odd crush b/c ZK was like this goofy-looking sophomore tennis player.
• Re: CL ~ you have to understand something: CL coulda doubled for Brad Pitt. He seriously resembled that hot celebrity, but to a smaller degree (i.e., physique and fame).
• Re: Rama & David ~ rest in peace. Both of these young men passed away during our high school years. Both passed away under separate, equally tragic circumstances. (What's up with all my recent sentimental entries regarding death?)
• JC was a (spoiled-rotten) parachute kid who dropped out of HS for no good reason except that he hated being in school and knew he'd move back across seas to manage his Dad's business, so getting a HS diploma didn't matter. Why did I like him? B/c he was a "bad boy." HS girls like me were so ditzy.
• ZK signed my yearbook with a heart. And I was so excited over that. Hahahahahahaha! (I am a huge dork.)
• JR was a kid I knew since Junior High. He was the first person to ask me to a HS dance (but I wasn't allowed to go). By Junior year, rumors went around that he was gay but back then and in SM, being gay was definitely not accepted. I can't imagine how hard HS was for him. Just a few months ago, we got in touch (he first contacted my bro). I'm glad that he is doing well. :)
  
• Hey, it looks like I was beginning to mature for a brief millisecond with the rhetorical question about whether I've left my mark on others.
• "incredible urge"..."I didn't."..."I just sat in the dark." How melodramatic and pathetic. And mortifying. HS rules!

Dude, Dad just came around and saw my diary (good thing it's in small font and pattern-encrypted). He said, Wow! You still have your diary? Save all your diaries for me so I can have them and read them one day.

Can you imagine if he did???

Then he asked what I was doing with my diary. I simply said, "It's an internet project." (Sometimes having limited Taiwanese is advantageous.) He said, Oh, do you have a blog? (He even said "blog" in English. Crazy!) Um, m-hm. He said, That's great! One day your kids can read about your life, too!

Dad has always liked how I've kept journals ever since I was a little kid. Keeping a journal was really Ama's idea. She used to make us sit down and write about our days (and do an hour's worth of long multiplication and division). Those entries were really lame, too; "I woke up. I brushed my teeth and combed my hair. We went to school. I stood up and did the flag salute..." You get the idea.

Oh man, if my kids are going to read my blog one day, maybe I should retire as a Mortified Columnist already...

A Tribute to the Crocodile Hunter

Crocodile Hunter, may God rest your soul. May God be with your loved ones.

.·:*¨¨*:·. .·:*¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨*:·. .·:*¨¨*:·. .·:*¨¨*:·. .·:*¨¨*:·. .·:*¨¨*:·.

I have been meaning to pay a written tribute to Mr. Steve Irwin, since I first read the Yahoo news 40 minutes after the newsbreak about his passing. It's weird for me to realize how one person across the world could have such an effect on me. I first found out around 2 A.M. Monday morning when I was researching and reading tributes to Mr. Moises Rivas, the man I will honor on September 11th. I was absolutely stunned at the news of the Crocodile Hunter's passing.

BF was sleeping and happened to wake up for a brief second, so I ran to him and broke the news. Not a minute later, he was up reading about the newsbreak. We are both HUGE Discovery Channel fans (and I, Animal Planet, too) so we've seen quite a number of his shows. I have always admired how him and Jeff Corwin could fearlessly mingle with the wildlife that they love most. His way of passing is truly unfortunate.

Monday (normal) morning, we discussed how people reacted to Mr. Irwin's passing. Despite the grim news, many lambasted him on forums, "Well, what did he expect was going to happen?" It disturbs me that in a man's passing, strangers would still criticize and judge a man's actions with such disrespect. (Thankfully, the site admin has a zero tolerance rule and banned quite a few members for their distasteful comments.)

In light of people's passing, I keep thinking about what D. Challener Roe, the creator of Project 2,996 wrote ~ let us honor people by remembering their lives, not by remembering their murderers [or criticizing their life or way of passing].

Mr. Steve Irwin was truly an animal lover and one of the world's most passionate environmentalists. He graced television for over a decade, not for the fame but for his passion for wildlife.

I hope that one day, I will have the honor of visiting his zoo.

Mantra

Although I am quite a sappy person, I'm not into (open-mic) poetry or saving e-mail forwards. However, in my quarter-end-clean-up-process, I found this:

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be
shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind.
Think big anyway.
What you spend years building may
be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack if you help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have
and you might get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
- unknown

The first time I re-read it as an e-mail, I thought this was very motivational; hence, the post. Second time I re-read it after I copied and pasted it in this entry, I thought it was a bit pessimistic.

I can't help but think that we are surrounded by a lot of cynical and pessimistic people (I know ~ by that statement alone, that deems me as one of the cynical and pessimistic people that I am referring to). Sometimes I joke that it's an L.A. thing but that's because I've hardly been elsewhere. My pessimism about people becomes more apparent when a stranger commits a random act of kindness; I am completely dumbfounded by the act because pessimistic me thinks that it is rare that a person will do something good just to do good. I do my best (that's within my comfort and safety zone) to do good and I know that my loved ones do the same, but it gets disheartening when the recipient doesn't acknowledge the act for what it is. I guess this is where the mantra comes into play.

From a dissonant point of view, my pessimism helps me appreciate genuinely good people who persist in altruism in the face of rejection, disappointment, and cynicism. Today marks the 11th anniversary of BF's Lola's death. (For the first time since her passing, her death anniversary coincided with Labor Day.) Although I never knew her in person, I have come to know her through re-told memories and old pictures. I can only imagine what a wonderful woman she was, teaching people to love when others didn't accept her simply because of a difference in race and culture. Even when she was afflicted with physical and mental ailments, she was still the lovable, caring, selfless woman that BF knew all his life. He loves to reminsce about how in her last days at a care facility, all of the caretakers loved to visit and spoil her because they, too, had grown to love her.

Today was the second time that I visited Lola's grave with BF. I have never had a close one pass away so I really do not know what it is like (nor do I wish to know any time soon). When we drove through the cemetary, peace and somberness overwhelmed me. Maybe it's because I know how much Lola means to BF; he wouldn't be the good man he is today if it weren't for Lola's role-modeling and influence. It was an honor for me to go with him.

Because BF loves his Lola so much, he constantly keeps me in check about my relationship with my Ama. And I'm glad he does. I wouldn't be the person I am today, if it weren't for my gramma's influence and role-modeling. I didn't express it much in her 80th b-day post, but I have countless sentiments about my Ama. Although times, cultural expectations, and standards are different, I can't help but think that when she was my age, she had 3 children already (and will have one more in 2 years). My naive (American) stereotypical vision of a gramma is one of an older woman being carefree and baking cookies for her visiting grandchildren. Instead, Ama still babies every one of us, from her great-grand-daughter to her oldest child. Although she doesn't bake cookies for us, she is constantly thinking of each one of us. When she shops, she buys our favorite things. When we visit, she toils in the kitchen to serve only the best meals (last time it was just me and her, she whipped up a 7 course meal!). She continues to teach us compassion, generosity, love, and passion for life despite the hardships we have faced or may face.

Thank God for blessing us with Grandmas. They are truly an inspiration.

Dang, this was one serious, sentimental post.

Faux commentary on Mortified Material

This is great stuff.

My Younger Genius Cousin e-mailed me,

"I was looking through your yearbooks a few days ago (yeah, i was bored) and i saw guys who you drew circles around. tsktsk."

Okay, for the record, it was not I who drew the circles, it was my GFs. For reals. There should be a yearbook signing rule against "vandalizing" yearbooks with material that will be embarrassing in a decade or more. Then again, that'd include all of my class pictures.

Congratulations to Newlywed J & R!

For a few weeks, BF & I have been preparing for our friends' wedding. Thankfully, we had ordered their wine glasses through their registry, and I already picked up a bottle of Dom Perignon (on the second attempt). The comical part is that we still ended up with the last minute rush. We talked all week about what time to leave because it was quite a distance and any freeway out of West L.A. was going to be suicide (or suicide-inducing). When it was down to the last hour before we had to leave (3 hours before the ceremony), I was fretting over having not written the card that I bought a month ago and not having enough time to get ready because of BF's tie fiasco, and BF was agonizing over having no tie to wear.

If this is any indication of how our wedding is going to be then I better start planning today.

We got into BF's car 10 minutes later than planned, and thanks to his mental Mapquest, he saved us about an hour's worth of traffic -- no joke. We listened to traffic reports for 1.5 hours (boring) and literally every freeway was troubled. Despite us being 15 minutes late, we got seated "just in time." The groom's party had just proceeded to the gazebo and the bridal party was just about to step out.

The ceremony was perfect and sweet. The entourage stood in an exquisitely adorned gazebo against a beautiful backdrop mountain-view of L.A. I was amazed at how flawlessly and efficiently the ceremony unfolded.

One of their primary sponsors read, "Love is a Friendship Caught Fire" by Freedman:

Love is friendship caught fire; it is quiet, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection, and makes allowances for human weaknesses. Love is content with the present, hopes for the future, and does not brood over the past. It is the day-in and day-out chronicles of irritations, problems, compromises, small disappointments, big victories, and working toward common goals. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you do not have it, no matter what else there is, it is not enough.

The other primary sponsor read, "I Love You" by Roy Croft.

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.

I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.

I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can't help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.

I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good,
And more than any fate
To make me happy.

You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.

Instead of lighting candles, Bride and Groom performed the sand ceremony to symbolize their uniting. They each held a different color that symbolized something (e.g., the officiant poured brown symbolizing the Earth/ground; may their marriage always stay grounded). At the completion of the ritual, their vase of sand looked amazing and it was later left by the guestbook signing table.

Between the ceremony and the reception, BF and I looked around for his money clip. :( I don't get it. He seems to always lose money! He wasn't so bent over the cash; he was more bent over the fact that that money clip was recently given to him on his birthday from the newlyweds. I felt so bad for him (he thinks he dropped it during the valet exchange). We still enjoyed the rest of the evening. I finally met all of BF's crew and like he vouched, they are a bunch of funny mofos.

We were soon seated in the banquet hall. Again, I was amazed at the organization. Not only did they have us seated at certain tables, they even had placards on the keepsake indicating where we sat at the designated table. The reception went just as flawlessly and efficiently as the ceremony. (I only wish I had ordered the prime rib.) At least I got the layer of cake I wanted (marble with cappuccino creme).

We left around the time that people started bailing. Since Ate left earlier with Flowerboy (a.k.a. Flower girl's escort), Kuya R came with us. We dropped him off at home and hung out a little bit and then went on our merry way home.

Until we came across the drunk racers. Although I have never had to do this, BF is a veteran at exiting off the freeway 5 miles away from home because of drunk fools racing on the freeway. Well, we were farther than 5 miles away when some drunk racing mofo almost crashed into us. Not even a minute later, 4 more cars recklessly sped by us, cutting people off left and right. I swear about 5 cars, including us, made a bee-line for the next exit. We'd rather deal with checkpoints and cops on the streets than die because of some stupid drunk racers (why did we not see a single cop on the 50-mile freeway drive, but we saw 5 cops on Venice?). I don't think I've ever had a car-fright like that before.

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Closing thoughts~
It was actually quite a small, intimate wedding of 150 guests so we felt very honored to be there. We have known J & R since they first started dating about 3 years ago. As cliche as it sounds, it is only right that they be wedded; they truly are meant for each other. Congratulations, J & R!