Emotions Gone Wild

Today was an emotional day.

At one point during the day, I wondered what BSILF, her hubby, and their new baby boy were doing at 4:15 AM b/c maybe I had sympathy pains. I was pretty tired when I went to bed late last night, but I still woke up around 4:15 and was unable to fall asleep again. I knew it was going to be a long day because I also had to attend Back To School Night beginning at 6 P.M.

My morning started Twilight-Zone slow since I only had half a cup of coffee (I was juked! The PTSA was providing breakfast and I was so certain there would be coffee). I had just finished a group of kids and was waiting for the next group, when I got a voicemail from BSILF. I was literally fighting tears listening to her message.

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On Saturday, their beautiful baby boy was born. Little did many of us know the struggles this little trooper encountered from the moment he entered the world. I started getting worried when I hadn't heard from BSILF over the rest of the weekend (after one e-mail and one text asking if I could call her). BF kept telling me that everything was okay and to stop bothering the new parents who just needed private time with their new son. My fears were confirmed when I got a text from BSILF on Saturday night saying, "Call us tomorrow. Thanks for the prayers." What prayers?? I didn't know I had received prayer requests from them...which sent me immediately into heightened religious panic mode.

On Sunday, BSILF called to catch me up to speed. Their little boy was fighting to maintain a healthy status and fortunately, he fought enough to avoid Neonatal ICU admittance. However, after a few more days of silence, my worries started up again. Then I got today's voicemail that made me so sad and worried.

I am not used to hearing BSILF so fragile. The only times I've ever seen/heard her cry were tears of joy, when she announced that her and her hubby were expecting a baby. When we're together, we are like kids laughing nonstop until we're out of breath. I listened to her breaking voice telling me that she was discharged two days early...so that she and her husband could accompany their little boy to the NICU at CHOC. She asked that I send an e-mail out to her friends and family. I was on the verge of crying but had to stop myself because my kids was going to walk in at any second.

After the session, I quickly got on the computer and composed an e-mail on BSILF's behalf. It was both an honor and a challenge because I knew it would be one of extreme emotions. I began by announcing Baby Boy's name, Luke Trooper. Baby Luke's middle name grows more and more significant with every passing hour, as his body struggles to maintain the healthy state. All I kept thinking about when I wrote the e-mail was BSILF telling me over and over again in every message, how absolutely beautiful and perfect their little boy is. I have no doubts.

I tried my best to write an e-mail that conveyed BSILF and hubby's sentiments. I knew that they wouldn't want any of us to worry (even though we will regardless!) and thanked everyone for their thoughts and prayers. As the e-mail responses started pouring in, I fought tears again. With every e-mail that I read, I just kept thinking about how amazing Mark and Kristi are. The outpour of love and concern was overwhelming. It's oddly comforting that through them, I have become connected with so many people that I may never meet in person. However, we all share that common ground of knowing and loving these two wonderful people...now a family of three.

My heart goes out to these new parents. Every time Kristi leaves me a voicemail, I am overwhelmed by her love for her husband, baby son, and life; she exudes this love with her words and her tone of voice. It's like she's fallen in love for the first time again, but this time, it's not just falling in love with her husband but also with their most beautiful gift to each other, Baby Luke.

Keep fighting, Luke Trooper. We have loved you even before you were born...and we love you even more now. You are beautiful beyond words. We know you will get through this.