Out of My Element

Today was a funky day. I was totally beating myself up over ridiculous things.

First, when I was getting ready for work, I tried to "fix" my BE blush. I gingerly picked up the sifter with the loose powder...and then dropped about $15 worth of precious minerals all over the sink, freshly vacuumed bath rug and carpet, my pants, and purse! The only good thing is that it didn't fall on my turtle; I had just let her loose to walk around. I was so annoyed at how clumsy I was!

After, I drove to school in a sleepy daze. When I got to work, I wasn't in the mood to deal with Foot Fetish Boy. After two disturbing dreams about him, I've been completely creeped out by this 14 y/o. So ridiculous of me, I know. Anywho, so I usually leave my door wide open, but today, I left it open about 8 inches to send the message of "I'm busy but if you (as in adults) absolutely need to come in, fine." I had my back towards the door b/c I was (finally) posting up class rules on the bulletin board. The first person who 'snuck' in was the custodian. I was laughing out of relief b/c I thought he was FFB and was glad he wasn't. The second person who 'snuck' in was a teacher that I get all awkward around (she has asked me for advice on her quieter students and when I give her advice, she smugly responds on how she's tried it all. It was nice of her to stop by to invite me to a crafts fair where she will be selling jewelry that she makes!).

Then FFB snuck in. I was completely freaking out b/c not only did he peek in to see if anyone else was in here, but then he walked past my kidney table that bisects my room, squeezed through the 12 inch opening b/t the kidney table and my desk, and entered my tiny 6' x 5' sanctuary. Talk about claustrophobic moment for me; I felt so violated!

"Hello Miss [Speech Lady]. Oh, [grunt, mumble] so, why are you wearing those shoes?"
"Because I'm wearing these pants." (As a grown-up, I still give lame non-responses. One advantage to being an SLP is that people think that I am always speaking sensibly.)
Then I just about lost my composure. Chanel totally took over the conversation: "[FFB], it is inappropriate for you to look, comment, or ask about my shoes. AND when my door is closed like that, that means I'm busy. If you want to say hello, that's fine but you cannot come in just to see what shoes I'm wearing!"
"Okay Miss [Speech Lady]. See you later."
What? That's it?

I was all out of my element for the next half hour. I got a quick 10-minute therapy session from my neuropsych-SLP buddy who said, I absolutely have to set boundaries pronto.

So I called him in a few periods later to finish Tri-testing. Beforehand, I had changed to my New Balances again. When he came in, he asked, "You changed already?" I asked flatly, "Changed from what?" as if I had no clue what he was asking about. "Um, never mind." Then he did his usual manipulative thing of reaching down to his backpack but really trying to sneak a glance at my feet again. "YOUR EYES NEED TO BE UP HERE [FFB]."

After testing, Chanel took over the conversation: "Do you remember what we talked about this morning?"
He looked away and said, "yes..."
"LOOK [FFB], until you stop looking, asking, and commenting about my feet or shoes, you are NOT allowed to come in here to say hello. The ONLY time you are allowed here is when it is your designated therapy time. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"
My heart was racing unbelievably fast. I couldn't believe I was saying all that, including the 'check for comprehension.'
"Yes."
Oh, but there's more: "And when you are here, I expect you to be looking up here at me, not down there. I will be watching where your eyes look even in therapy."
"Okay Miss [Speech Lady]. So, I'll see you on Friday then. So, when does this period end? Should I go back to class now?"

I was like, WTH? All of this didn't even phase him! It was so bizarre. I guess I expected more of a response since he completely loses it when other adults confront him.

Anywho, for the rest of the day, I was even more clumsy than usual and still feeling out of my element. When I got home, BF said, "Whatever you do, do NOT touch anything."

I think I should just call it a day...a big day for Chanel. At least I can laugh about all of this tomorrow...and in 10 years!

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Last night, BF had a super, superstar client over and she saw the autism books on our shelf. She asked, "Does somebody you know have autism?"
"Nah, my girl's a speech-language pathologist who works with kids with autism."
"That's a great field to be in. It must be really hard working with those kids though."
"Yeah, it's hard, but she likes it. I like it, too, because she comes home and tells me these hilarious stories about her kids. Like she has this one kid who has a foot fetish..."

Imagine them laughing at my expense. Well, I laugh at myself everyday anyways!