Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Summer School

My first year of work in my "new life" officially ended last Thursday. The last week of work was very chaotic but energizing and exciting. The kiddos were soOOoOoo excited, especially those that were graduating!

On Wednesday morning, the day of graduation, several of my 8th graders either came by or popped in real quick to give a shout-out. The best was when Foot Fetish Boy, who has avoided me all year since I had a talk with him about that, came into my room (tried to peek at my feet) and excitedly said, "Hi Ms. L--! Guess what! I'm graduating!" I was so happy for him and all of my 8th graders! I wished as many as I could, well thoughts for the future. :)

On Thursday, BF kinda guilt-tripped me into going to work. I seriously thought Wednesday was my last day, until my co-worker buddy (who calls me "kiddo") asked if I'd be in my office on Thursday. That's when I remembered that I filled out my calendar realignment incorrectly, and I should be at work. I wasn't going to go, but BF and I thought it was best that I didn't get fired.

Thursday was total ghost town at work! The Principal and Asst. Principal were at work (their cars were in the lot), but I saw a total of 5 teachers who stayed for maybe an hour. I was there for my whole 8 - 3, dude.

The weekend flew by as I tried to mini-detox and get personal stuff done. My car received maintenance on Saturday, and BF and I had The Hat while we waited in the 107 degree heat!

Yesterday (Monday), I started working summer school, seeing two classes of high school kiddos with autism ranging from mild to severe. Yesterday, I spent the whole day in one class and accompanied them to the public library. One kid, M, totally cracks me up. He is the highest functioning and is so social. He appears so passionate about everything; like he "loves" everything that we talked about. Any movie he picked up, he claimed was his favorite (and he also loves rap music, Lil Wayne, and T-Pain). And Holy snikeys! Anything that I said, he'd ask, "Why" or "why not." M is like everyone's homie. He says "what's up" to all of his classmates, even those that are nonverbal. LOL (and then he'd tell me, so-and-so "doesn't talk.")

Today, I was working in the other class. I sat next to this kid, J, who seemed pretty quiet and shy. I asked his aide if I could work with him after math. She looked at me kind of funny, sent him on a break, and then told me that this kid can get easily agitated so yes I can work with him, but don't push him too hard, and give him frequent breaks. She introduced us and we sat outside for speech. At one point, M walked passed us and said, "What's up [J]!" Since J didn't respond, I said, "Hey, M just said hello to you. You can say hello back." He continued to look down and not say anything (although we had been carrying on a conversation prior). Later on, J came traipsing in again, and when he walked past J's desk, he said to him, "What's up dawg!" and J responded, "Yo, M!" I was cracking up to myself about that!

The best was later on when J and two other boys were getting ready for their community outing. I had already asked the teacher if I could join them. I had no idea that these 3 "big boys" actually go out all by themselves! I was amazed and feared for them, but apparently, they're not newbies to this routine. The teacher suggested I drive, but I said I'd walk with them. Then I turned to shy J and asked, "Is it okay if I join you guys for Smart and Final?" He said quietly, "Sure, that's okay." When it was time to leave, I told the same aide, "Oh, I'm going with them." She looked at me funny again and hesitated before crouching down to whisper to me about how J can react aggressively or whatever to strangers so she wasn't sure if I should go or not. But then she turned to J and asked him, "is it okay if she goes with you?" and again he said, "Yes, that's okay." So when they lined up to leave, the two boys were practically out the door when J turned to me and said, "let's go, dude!"

We were all busting up! I had a nice (albeit hot) 50-minute round-trip walk with J, doing speech-therapy-on-the-go, asking him novel questions and working on his turn-taking skills. Dude, I had no idea Smart & Final was practically a mile away, but it was so awesome to see how these kids (through serious training and backward training) were so independent, crossing streets only when "the man" was up (and making sure each other didn't cross when they saw "the hand"), locating food items, exchanging money, and helping each other out.

It's been an interesting, fun beginning of summer school with the big little kiddos. :)

Friday, June 13, 2008

Another Masters in the Family!


Congratulations to FBIL!

Today, Brian graduated from the University of California, Los Angeles, with a Master of Social Welfare! We are so proud of him and extremely happy for him!

I have known Brian for about 9 or 10 years. He has become such a big part of my life and it's an honor to know him. Brian is a man of integrity, sincerity, and honesty. And he is a man of compassion. He had a vision to change the world one person at a time, and he pursued it.

For the past two years, Brian has undergone the study of social welfare on a micro level. He has devoted countless hours to working with individuals, families, and groups. Last summer, he traveled to Ghana to work with individuals with HIV and AIDS. He has counseled so many individuals and groups of teenagers already at the end of their road. Just within two years as a protege, he has changed so many individuals. I have to admit, I have been really excited about him being in the program as we have had so much to talk about from disabilities to how our disciplines cross and collaborate to help individuals.

Although he has always been genuinely involved in the welfare of others, we couldn't be any more excited about him embarking on his career with his MSW! Congratulations, FBIL!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Love in Any Language

Yesterday, I started thinking about a song by Sandi Patti about love. I couldn't remember exactly what it was. Today, it popped into my head, "Love in any Language." I thought it was really random, but maybe it's not.

About three weeks ago, I went to visit Gramma in Rancho. I picked up a call from Pastor Aunty, who I hadn't spoken to in months. She asked me about work and I re-explained how I work with both "regular special education" (like RSP, Learning Center, or Basic Skills) and Special Day Class (SDC) for severe autism (it's really hard to explain this to my family in Taiwanese). We talked a bit, and then Aunty slyly transitioned into Pastor.

Pastor Aunty preached to me about how I need to share the Gospel with my kids, yet it's a shame that I can't mention God in the schools. As she thought aloud, she advised me to ask God to use me to communicate the Gospel in an unspoken language...use me to communicate God's love through my words and actions.

I wish I remembered exactly what Pastor Aunty said about communication b/c what she said was deep, significant, and beautiful. It was what I needed to hear. Every morning during my commute, I pray for all of my loved ones first and foremost. Next, I ask God to use me to reach out to all of my kids in one way or another. Whether it be through my words or my actions, help me to make a difference.

Yesterday, the vague idea about a song that I used to listen to waaaaaaaaaay back in the Amy Grant days popped into my head. After all these years, this song finds its way back to me...and with new meaning.

Love in Any Language
by Sandi Patti

Je t'aime
Te amo
Ya ti-bya lyu blyu
Ani o hev ot cha
I love you

The sounds are all as different
As the lands from which they came
And though the words are all unique
Our hearts are still the same

Love in any language
Straight from the heart
Pulls us all together
Never apart
And once we learn to speak it
All the world will hear
Love in any language
Fluently spoken here

We teach the young our differences
Yet look how we're the same
We love to laugh, to dream our dreams
We know the sting of pain

From Leningrad to Lexington
The farmer loves his land
And daddies all get misty-eyed
To give their daughter's hand

Oh maybe when we realize
How much there is to share
We'll find too much in common
To pretend it isn't there

Love in any language
Straight from the heart
Pulls us all together
Never apart
And once we learn to speak it
All the world will hear
Love in any language
Fluently spoken here

Tho' the rehtoric of government
May keep us worlds apart
There's no misinterpreting
The language of the heart

Love in any language
Straight from the heart
Pulls us all together
Never apart
And once we learn to speak it
All the world will hear
Love in any language
Fluently spoken here

***********
If this seems oddly sappy and serious, think of those days during final exams when you (or I) get really serious and sappy b/c you are past the state of anxiety secondary to overwhelming stress and are in that state of sentimental zen. That's kind of where I'm at.

Bummers

1) I found out today that N320 is no longer leaving, but he is staying through the summer and who knows about the Fall. It wouldn't be a bummer if:
  • a) I didn't have to service him 4 times a week for individual sessions at a half hour each! His mother is the first one that I have unsuccessfully convinced about changing service delivery. She has no idea how far he has come along b/c of the gratuitous group therapy I've included him in. Group therapy is so functional especially for these kids.
  • b) he wasn't starting to grope again!
  • c) my summer placements weren't so ridiculous. I am "tentatively" scheduled to cover all of the district's K-8 special education speech kids with extended school year (ESY)-- and they won't give me numbers until after the last day of school! This consists of 2 middle schools (including my own) and 5 elementary schools. I'm also supposed to cover 4 of the PAU's autism classes (my own that is almost doubling in size and 3 more at a high school a bit yonder). Thankfully, BF has picked up on my not-subtle prompts about needing a serious vacation trip. He is working on that.
2) The Lakers lost! :(

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

T-shirt

Pixillated just finished designing a t-shirt for Lil' Wayne. Too bad Pixillated's undercover Executive Personal Assistant (yours truly) won't get one to wear (lest I be mistaken for promoting the musical artist rather than the graphic designer).

Oh well, I didn't even know who he was until last night. BF said, "You should! You work with middle school kids! I bet they all know who he is!"

Yes, and they also know who Buffy the Body is...

I am so outdated it's not even funny.

Monday, June 09, 2008

Okay bye!

Today was a crazy day. Actually, the days keep getting crazier and crazier as we draw near the end of the academic year. There are so many loose ends to tie up! I am still trying to track down parents to hold last minute IEPs, finding out more and more year-end procedures, and I'm running around doing damage control thanks to That Crazy Lady who turned all crazy again.

I was running b/t the 320 classroom and my room for most of the day. I managed to squeeze in group therapy/snack time, but the kiddos were extra feisty for several reasons. I thought it was sOOOoOO awesome and adorable what happened pre-snack time. N320 had sat down even though moments before, he was getting all gropey with me (he started up with this last week, after two good months!) and even P320 settled down. I told the boys to "wait" and I ran into the other classroom (next door) to get P320's stash. By the time I got back, I saw all four of the kiddos quietly sitting and waiting at the table! That was soOoOOoOo cool, especially since they didn't have any aides near them to enforce their sitting.

Right when I settled down, J320's nose started bleeding. His machismo aide teased us women for being all afraid of blood. It's not that I was afraid, I just felt soOOOOOoOoOo bad for the poor baby. :( I wasn't about to touch the blood b/c I was about to handle all of the kids' foods (with gloves). (Besides, that is his job!) Two to three aides kept trying to restrain him (i.e., make sure his hands don't whack them) so that they could stop the bleeding.

The poor baby was flailing his arms...and then said, "okay bye!"

I was like, aww!!! J320 often says, "okay bye" when he wants YOU to leave him. Poor baby!

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Happy Birthday to the BF!

Caption: My favorite picture of my favorite boyfriend. :)

I am anxiously waiting to pick the BF up from the airport. He left for Vegas on Thursday morning to visit his folks (belated Mother's Day, Anniversary, Dad's birthday, his birthday, and early father's day celebration), hang out with his best friend, and then meet up with the boys.

Reflecting on the past years that I've known BF, I can see how much he has changed and grown in so many ways. Ways that we never thought he could or would. I constantly reflect on how fortunate we are to be where we are in life...and to be together. He has become such an important part of my life, and I am so grateful to have him. He often jokes that he is the "best boyfriend ever," but in reality, he is (for me). He makes me laugh everyday. He makes me smile just thinking about him.

I stumbled across an old journal entry re: BF from two years ago. It's amazing how things appear to change so fast in retrospect. Throughout our relationship, we've been through numerous ups and downs, many of which bred from his internal battles that he has fought for over a decade. To add onto it all, he often felt blue about his age with respect to where he was at in his career and goals. As he turns 31 today, we both know he has worked so hard to get where he is at now. I can't remember how many times just within the past few months that we have counted our blessings and talked about how positive things are for him (vs. 2 to 5 years ago). Everyday, he becomes a better and better man and just when I think I can't love him any more than I already do, I do. (How does that saying go? Men are like wine; they get finer with age. ;)

Lil F and I have missed him a lot and can't wait for him to come home to celebrate his birthday.

Happy birthday to my best BF ever!

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Who's counting?

That seems to be the carrier end-phrase of the month. All around, my associates have been counting down the days until this academic year ends. (i.e., "XX days, but who's counting?")

Although I don't have the number of days counting down in my head, I am looking forward to that last day. Kids are actin' a fewl left and right and gettin' way too out of hand for anyone's good!

Yesterday, I walked into my room between IEPs and my assistant said, "Ms. L__, please talk to [student sitting off to the side]." I had to give this horrible impromptu grown-up talk about respecting authority/adults, not cracking inappropriate jokes or lewd comments, and the same motivational speech about doing well in school blahblahblah. I am horrible at giving grown-up talks (too much negative practice with C and D, arguing with them like I'm in middle school, too!).

The Tuesday Chronicles continue -- however, my 2nd period session was fine. C didn't show up so it was just D, who was so chilled out b/c he was tired. 7th period was when I was all out of my element. G arrived first and the way he asked where D was signified potential trouble. When D arrived, I thought they were really going to get into it right then and there. Through the entire session, I had to keep lecturing them and calling them out on their behavior. I have to give props where it's due -- G is really good at calling bluffs. (All of us said at his IEP yesterday that he has so much potential...if only he could stay out of trouble and put more effort into his work!) Out of all of my kiddos that present with challenging behaviors, I've gotten away with calling all of their bluffs (like yesterday), but G totally called me out today b/c apparently, he could care less about anything. Not only that, he called my bluff at least twice in that half hour session!

Right before G left, he actually did jump at D! (Semi) Thankfully, it was really just major rough-housing and not an actual fight. My room is so tiny so when G went for D, all kinds of thoughts rushed through my mind.
  1. I was NOT in the mood to break up a fight. I've only broken up one fight in my life. On the real, I do NOT ever want to do that again. Especially when men/boys are bigger and stronger than me.
  2. I can't believe I also had this thought -- crap! My [safety "tool" of choice] is in my car! A little background about that -- BF is uber-paranoid about my safety (and rightfully so; I've gotten into quite a number of unfortunate predicaments in my younger, naive days, including being held up in an elevator with a gun pointed at me, confirming my childhood fear of being stuck in an elevator with a stranger). So I typically walk around double-protected. Just not on campus as it should not be necessary. I think the reason why I had this thought was b/c in that split second, I was thinking about my own safety. Then I snapped out of my selfishness and thought #3.
  3. I considered breaking up the fight, but then thought, how in the world am I supposed to separate them? I recalled my Nonviolent Crisis Intervention training on breaking up fights, but dude, there is totally not enough space in my room! I probably would've gotten sandwiched into the mix. When G jumped at D, D had jumped behind my chair into my little private work area, and then G pushed him back farther into my little space so that the three of us were in the back half of my small room; I would have had to jump over the huge kidney table to get to the door way b/c they had blockaded me in (narrow opening between my work area and kidney table).
Before D came, I had spoken to G about really wanting to see him graduate and go on and do big things in life (i.e., he needs to stay out of trouble for the last two weeks so he can!). I was pleasantly surprised when I asked him, "Do you even care about graduating?" and he genuinely said, "yah." I reminded him that he will need to be on his best behavior, stay out of trouble, and not get into fights. He said, "Man, that's going to be really hard."=X

After G left, I totally lectured D about being quite the instigator. To which he responded, "It's easy to upset [G]; I know which buttons to push." Boys!

Antecedent intervention: I will see D and G separately for the last one or two sessions!!!

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Filling in the Gaps

I recently found out that my “wisdom hairs” (euphemism for “premature white hairs”) are from my mom. I used to think they were occasional stress hairs until this year, when I a field of them sprouted in the middle of my head. (They are currently strategically covered up.) I had no idea that mom had premature white hairs before she turned 30. (Of course when I asked bro if he knew, he answered, “Of course. Don’t you remember?”) So that was yet another genetic/hereditary mystery “solved.”

I also just “solved” another curiosity. More than half of my family consists of many great communicators an orators, and unfortunately, I am not one of them. However, I do think I have a fairly good sense of picking up on pragmatics – picking up on the unspoken language, reading social cues, filling in the gaps, or “reading between the lines.” After listening to Gramma retell her extensive conversations with her gardener, I deduced that my intuitive pragmatics skills must be inherited from Gramma. Gramma and her gardener both speak English as a second (or third or fourth) language, so I am always in awe and amazement when Gramma elaborately retells her conversations with her gardener.

I was just looking out through the breakfast nook window, admiring gramma’s lovely rose garden, and I thought about one of the many conversations she had with her gardener. Last night, during our walk, she told Bro and I about the gardener and her rose gardens. Over the course of several weeks, Gramma and her gardener have become homies. She also taught him how to prune her many rose bushes the “right” way (i.e., must cut at a slant, not too high and not too low, avoid cutting buds, cut at the base under certain conditions). Mind you, Gramma has roses everywhere. She has a lovely rose garden in the front yard, rose “trees” surrounding the perimeter of her corner house front yard, and a rose garden in her backyard. She has definitely cultivated my appreciation for roses. The gardener joked with Gramma that her husband must have given her many roses in their lifetime, as he visually surveyed the plethora of roses around the yard. (Gramma laughed, but I don’t think she told him that her husband never gave her a single rose. Chalk it up to a conservative culture that didn’t typically engage in public acts of love. Only in the recent years has Gramma been saying, “I lov-a you!” to her grandchildren. It’s awesome.)

(I semi-digress.) When Gramma told us story after story about her conversations with her gardener, I kept commenting to Bro, “Isn’t it amazing that Gramma and the gardener could understand each other and carry on such extensive conversations?” (I probably didn’t comment that effectively and eloquently.)

I have Gramma to partially thank for passing along an inherent skill that is so pertinent in my line of work.

P.S. Mystery #3: I also get my poor sleeping habits from Gramma...